A NEW BEGINNING

The new year is almost here. Many of us will wait up to welcome 2017 in whatever ways we deem proper -- or, perhaps improper. Many of us will skip the whole thing and get to bed as we always do, even if only to get a few more hours of welcome sleep-in time. No matter what we do or do not do, 2017 will begin shortly.

           

As with all new beginnings we have the opportunity to reflect both upon the past and upon the future. Many of us know by the time the end of the year arrives that there are areas of needed improvement in our lives. We’ve known it for a long time now. But the new year is a good time to put-off-to the changes necessary. Then we begin with relish -- okay, we just begin -- to start to do that which we have put off.

Thus, the new year offers us the opportunity to be born again, if you will, to start all over. We can start over with a clean slate, which we can do at the beginning of a new year or the beginning of a new day. We do anyway whether we realize it or not. But it won’t be easy. We know that.

Every year we resolve to start over, to begin anew, to be born again better and more determined. And every year we blow it, almost before we begin. The reason we do, I think, is that we often forget that being born again is not a painless experience. Birth is not a painless experience. Ask anyone who has given birth.

           

So why should any rebirth, born-again-experience be free from pain? It never is. It may be anticipated and joy-filled and exciting and uplifting. But it is always painful. If it is not, it is not real and it will not last. Change is always painful. Babies cry when they enter a new living space. They give up security to something unknown.

           

We are no different. Our present life, no matter how bad or how painful, is at least known. We may anticipate and be joy filled, excited and uplifted about a new birth, a new life, a change for the better. But once we begin to make that change, we discover just how difficult, just how painful it really is. That is not to discourage us. It is simply to remind us that if we truly want the new year to be better than the old, we have to work at it. We will have to change or else it will not happen.

           

“Oh!” we say. “I’ll just have to think about that,” we say. Well, okay. Think about it. But, then, don’t just think. Do. Those of us who are old enough to remember, remember those old “Think and Do” books we had in first grade. They tried to teach us a lesson we have often forgotten. Before doing anything, we need to think about what we are about to do. But then we need to get on with the doing.

           

The thinking may be difficult enough, even frightening enough. A few days is not enough time to think about what 2017 should be like and what we might need to do to change to make this new year better than last. Okay. So we don’t begin January 1. So we think about it some more. But a time will come when we need to start the doing, the changing. It will be painful. But it will be worth it.

CHRISTMAS IS ABOUT GOD BEING PRESENT

While it is true that God does not have to do something, there is still, I believe something that God had to do. What God had to do is what God did on the day we celebrate Christmas: become one of us. God had to become present in and among us human beings to know what it is like to be human. There was no other way for even God, all-knowing and all-wise that God is, to know what it is like to be human.

And so God became present among us, to live as we do, to love as we do, to suffer as we do, to die as we do. No, God not live, love, suffer and die in the exact same way as any other person who has lived, is living or will live. No two people live, love, suffer and die in the exact same way. But we all live, love, suffer and die. God became as one of us to understand just what being human means and is all about.

Now I know I am treading on heretical grounds here. This is not deep theology. I just don’t go there. Where I do go, where I do travel is this life where good and evil, love and hate, joy and pain are present everywhere and in every one of us. And when pain and suffering come my way, when I feel lost and alone and cannot understand why, I want to know that my God understands what I am going through.

Thus, because I know my God knows because God in Jesus experienced what I experience, suffered the way I suffer, and in many ways experienced more and suffered worse than me, I am comforted. I can come to God in prayer knowing God knows what I am going through because God in Jesus went through the same. The pain and suffering may not be lessened but knowing God understands certainly helps me in dealing with what is going on in my life.

God’s being present among us is akin to our being present with someone we love who is in pain, is akin to another being present with us when we are in pain. The pain is not taken away or even reduced but we give comfort and are comforted simply by that presence. That is the meaning of what we celebrate on Christmas: it is God’s present to us by becoming present with us.

And is that not what our Christmas presents are? They are symbols, reminders, of our presence, when we are apart, of our love and care for them and they for us. We cannot always be physically present with the ones we love, but our presents are reminders that we are always present if only in thought and prayer.

Christmas is a reminder that God is always present with us and knows and understands what it means to be human. God becoming one of us in Jesus, being present in Jesus, is the greatest present God could give to us. Our Christmas presents need to remind us of just how important being present really is. Our being present to another is the greatest present we can give to that person. We must never forget that.

DYSFUNCTIONAL

I saw a little sign in a craft store the other day that read: "Let's put the 'fun' back in dysfunctional." At first thought that sounded like a good idea. On second thought it reminded me that what makes being dysfunctional so "in" is that it is fun to be so. And make no mistake about it: being dysfunctional, coming from a dysfunctional family, is in.

           

The classic excuse these days for doing what we know is wrong is to blame it on the fact that we come from a dysfunctional family, live in a dysfunctional society, are prone to being dysfunctional because of our genes. For once we can blame our wrongs on something or someone else, we are off the hook. Then it is someone or something else's fault that we are the way we are.

           

And that is true. We are the way we are because of forces beyond our control: our genes, for instance, maybe even society. But being is not the same as doing. I may very well be the way I am, who I am, because of my parents. But they don't do what I do. I do. I am responsible for my actions: not my genes, my parents, my society.

           

Still, I am dysfunctional. We all are. Whenever we do that which we know we should not do, we are not functioning the way we know we should. We are dysfunctional. That is the psychological term. The theological term is sinful. My psychologist may tell me that the reason I lie or cheat or whatever, all of which I know is wrong, is that I am dysfunctional. My priest will tell me it is that I am a sinner.

           

Nevertheless, sinfulness and dysfunctionality have the very same reality in common: fun. We sin because it is fun, because we enjoy it, because there is pleasure involved. That's what drives us to do that which we know we should not in the first place: the pleasure, the fun. We don't have to put the fun back into dysfunctional. It was always there.

           

Now I know that there are those who will tell me that I am being too simplistic. Perhaps so. But I also think it is an oversimplification to blame wrong doing on forces beyond our control. We can't help it if we have genes that are prone to put on weight. We can help it when it comes to what we put into our mouths. We can't help it if we were born in a slum. We can help ourself get out of that environment; we can help make sure we overcome it and it does not overcome us.

           

It is so easy to spend a lot of time making excuses why we are the way we are. It's a waste of time. We are who we are and we will never be other that who we are. But we certainly can do something about why we do or do not do what we do or do not do.

           

The other reality that we will discover is that there is more fun, more enjoyment in doing what we should be doing than in doing what we should not be. There is more fun and pleasure in loving someone than in hating or hurting someone. Always. Every time. There is no need to put the fun back into being dysfunctional. What there is a need is for us to find the fun -- the good -- in living our lives as sinful but redeemed, as sinful but always-the-ability-of-getting-better Christians.

GOD’S HOUSE

In her wonderful book An Altar in the World, Barbara Brown Taylor reminds us that in truth “the whole world is the house of God.” And, of course it is. The world, the universe, known and unknown, is God’s creation. How all this came to be is a moot point because we really do not know. Scientists and theologians have debated the issue for centuries and are nowhere nearing an answer than they ever were.

Yes, it would be very interesting to answer the “how” or “when” of creation, if it could be done, but would it change anything? The fact is that we will never know no matter how smart we are. Believers believe the world is God’s house. Unbelievers believe the world, well, I don’t know what they believe because I am a believer and I really do not care how or when the world, the universe came to be. I simply accept the fact that it is all the work of God.

The question remains, however, is that if we believe “the whole world is the house of God”, do we live and act as if it really is? Even more to the point, Taylor asks a very searing question: “Do we build God a house in lieu of having God stay at ours?” In other words, do we keep God in God’s place as the deists did? They believed, still believe, that God created the universe and since then has kept a hands-off approach to creation. Do we act as if the church (building) is the house of God rather than acting as if God lives in our house, namely, inside each one of us?

If we believe we are children of God, then it follows that God lives in us, not in some even very beautiful building or somewhere out there. God really lives in our very homes because God lives in each one of us. That can be very frightening or very exciting depending on how we respond to that truth. We can be scared to death as it were, if we understand that our home should reflect the presence of God when it obviously might not.

We can be excited if we understand the privilege we have in having our home be God’s home even as that is a scary proposition.

The truth is that for the most part our homes are God’s home. Love lives there, love for one another. The further truth, however, is that we often don’t see it that way or are even aware of that reality. It is almost as if we are oblivious of what our home is and is always to be: the house of God. If we were more aware of that truth, we have to wonder what this world would be like. What would our own life be like?

It might not be too far from the truth to assert that the problems we encounter in our daily lives stem from the fact that unconsciously we keep God in what we think is God’s place, whatever that place is, like a church. Again, it is as if we are afraid to come to the realization that the one place God chooses to dwell is in our own homes. God is not afraid to dwell there so why should we be afraid to offer God a prominent place there? It will make our life better once we personally invite God in.

SOMETIMES IT ONLY TAKES A SMILE

Several years ago, don’t ask me how many as the years pass so quickly and fade so easily into oblivion, I was out grocery shopping. As I got out of the car and approached the entrance to the store, I noticed a sign on the closest parking spot to the store’s entrance, a sign that I had never seen before. It read “Parking for expectant mothers”. I smiled and continued towards the entrance. A young employee was sitting on a bench on her break. She said to me, “It’s nice to see someone smile today.”

I suspect I made her day, or at least that part of the day. On the other hand, my wife, The Nurse, whenever she sees that same sign anywhere reminds me that the sign should be at the far end of the parking lot and not next to the door because what expectant mothers need to do is walk. They need the exercise. Once again, I smile. Sometimes it does not take very much to do so.

Sometimes we forget that. There is so much to smile about in this life, in this world of ours. That is not to discount the truth that there is also so much to be sad about. The daily news is replete with tragic stories near and far. One cannot smile when floods devastate, when innocent children are struck down by a stray bullet, when a terrorist strikes. No smile at all, just tears.

And yet sometimes all it takes is a smile to brighten the day of someone having a bad day. We’ve all had them and will have them again and again. Even more, we never know when those days are coming. Some days start off wonderfully and then something happens, something is said, and we’re down in the dumps, Maybe, like the young lady at the grocery store, we take a break to get away from it for a while hoping that when we return, things will be better. Maybe they will be. Maybe they won’t.

That does not mean that when life is not going the way we would like it to go at the moment and, for whatever reason everything seems to be going south, we put on a happy face and pretend all is well. That only makes the situation worse. What it does mean is that sometimes in such situations we have to remember that things could indeed be worse. That, at least, is a reason to smile.

The point is that we so often takes life’s little pleasures for granted. We don’t take the time to stop and smile about whatever it is that gives us a sense of joy at the moment. I don’t remember why I stopped and smiled when I read the sign. I don’t even know why I looked up to see and read it in the first place. The fact that I did and that it made someone I did not know who was obviously having a bad day feel better made me feel good. And I have never forgotten that moment.

Silly? I suppose. But it is those unexpected moments in our lives that make another smile that can lift someone up who is down and make our life at the moment even more joyful. 

THE JOY OF WONDER

In this very, very busy world in which we live and move and have our being, we are encouraged time and again to “Stop and smell the roses”. The emphasis is on “stop”. We can see much of the world as we travel its highways and byways, but we only get a glimpse of what that world really is. But unless we actually stop and take a serious look at what are eyes behold, we will never really see what we are looking at.

Those in the know, and I am not one of them, tell us that we need to spend at least fifteen seconds observing whatever it is we have cast our eyes upon to really see and smell that rose, for instance. It is only when we stop and take serious time to see and smell that we can experience the joy of the wonder of God’s creation. Otherwise, I think, we take so much, if not all, of creation for granted.

Well, I know I do. I’ve seen it all before, I say to myself. But the truth is that I have not really seen it. I looked at it but did not see the essence of it, whatever that “it” happens to be. That is true not only of the world around us and everything in that world, but it is even more true about the people around us. It is only when we take the time to truly see the other person that we can find the joy that person brings into our lives.

How often have we said to ourselves that we did not expect to see what we just saw? We stood there in wonder. “I never saw that coming,” we say. “I never expected that from her.” “He surely surprised me!” Why were we so stupefied, if you will? Because we had never taken the time to get to know that person. We just sort of took him or her for granted and let it go at that.

Not until we were overjoyed as we stood there in wonder at what we had just seen, just experienced, that is. Life is full of surprises mostly, I dare say, because we tend to rush through so much of it that we miss so much of what is right there in front of us. The good part is that at least when we do take the time to stop and make eye contact, we see something or someone wonderful and that fills us with joy.

The old song tells us to slow down because we move too fast, that we need to make the moment last. Being told what to know, even knowing what to do does not always make us do what we should. We keep on moving too fast through life and, as a consequence, miss so much of what God is trying to help us see but won’t make us either stop or open our eyes even when we do. It is up to us.

The memories of those times when we did in fact stop and smell the roses, when we stopped and had a conversation with someone we have known for so long but never really got to know are only reminders of how much joy there is for us to experience when we are overcome by the wonder of what we have just experienced. We need to slow down and take time each day to experience the joy of wonder.

SEEING GOD

How do we see, how can we see the unseen God? We believe in God even as we cannot prove that God exists. We believe God loves us unconditionally even though we always have our doubts when we have done something we know God would never wish we would have done. We believe there is life after death even though no one who has ever died has come back to earth to make us believe it is so. Okay, Jesus did. But then we believe Jesus is God and God can do anything but we cannot.

So much of what we believe is just that: belief. It is not knowledge, yet we accept it almost as if it were knowledge even if we cannot prove its veracity. But we have to in order to live life in this world. That is true not only about our belief in God but also true about our belief in others and about life itself.

Yet we are always striving to prove to be true what we can only believe to be true. Our minds are restless from birth to death, restless for the truth whatever that truth happens to be at that moment in our lives. Thus, we will never stop trying to see God, grab hold of God, learn about God in whatever way we can. Most of the time we only catch a glimpse of God and that suffices for the moment.

But to actually see and touch and feel God? The only way that that can be done is to see God in people. We are all children of God. We believe that. And as a child of God, God lives in us just as our parents live in us and we live in our children. It is DNA but more than that. The genetics make it true. But, as we all discover as we grow older, we find our parents coming out in us – the way we think and act and speak.

So, too, God our parent, comes out in us in the way we think and act and speak. How often have we said or done something that was exactly what had to be said or done at that moment in time and then afterwards wondered where that came from? It was God coming out in us which we call the Holy Spirit. That is true for every human being regardless of race, gender or even religion. God lives in each and every person.

Thus, if we truly want to see God in the flesh, all we need do is look in the mirror and look at every person we see. Somewhere inside that person is God alive and well. That person, including ourself, may not always think and act and speak in Godly ways, but that does not lessen the truth that God is alive therein.

What each of us has to do is twofold. First, we have to recognize the God who lives in us and who works in this world in and through us. Second, we have to see the God who lives in everyone else. That will not always be easy in either instance. But it is the only way that we will be able to find reconciliation with one another in this life in this world. We cannot bring about this reconciliation all by ourselves but we can do our part in our little corner of the world by helping others see God in us as we seeing God in them.

THE DIS-EASE OF DISCONNECTION

Richard Rohr – Franciscan priest, spiritual director, prolific writer – in his wonderful and readable book on the Trinity, The Divine Dance, explains, as best that can be done on the subject, the connection between the three persons of the Trinity. That said, that also does not mean that after reading the book I have a clear understanding of the subject, only a clearer one than I had before I read the book. Such is the Trinity!

One of his main points is that not only is there a connection between the persons of the Trinity, there is also a like connection between the Trinity and each one of us. Given the truth of that reality, and I do believe it is true, the follow-up to that truth is that there should likewise be a connection between each and every one of us, between all of humanity. There should be.

But there is not. To quote Rohr: “The greatest dis-ease facing humanity right now is our profound and painful sense of disconnection.” If we are not uneasy about this disconnection, we are living in an unreal world. The disconnection is both small and great. Go out to eat. Look around. What do we see? Once the waitperson takes the order, everyone at the table pulls out a cell phone. The disconnection begins.

One might argue that these marvelous devices keep us connected. Yes, but only to a degree but not really. The art of real conversation is being lost and so has the connection between people. Arlena and I have lived in our neighborhood for over eight years. We walk almost every day. Because we are free, we walk whenever the spirit moves. The other day we were walking when the high school bus stopped and left off the riders. We saw a young man get off the bus whom we had never seen before. He has lived down the block from us all the while we have lived on the block.

As a nation we are uneasy because we have become disconnected one from another. We have lost the art of conversation and have crawled into our little shells and into our own little world. We cannot see anything but what we see because we refuse to even try to see from another perspective. The only way to see as another sees is to have a conversation with that person. That takes being connected.

Again, as Rohr explains, we are already connected through the Trinity. But making that connection work in this life in this world means being open to the other, listening with open ears and heart and mind, being willing to change our thoughts and actions if necessary. That, of course, is not easy because it may mean that we were wrong.

We cannot change this dis-ease with the present disconnection all by ourselves. What we can do is make the effort to become more connected in our own lives. It will not always be easy because we may learn something about ourselves that we would rather not; but if and when we do, we will be better for it and certainly less at ease.

ORIGINAL GOODNESS

When I was growing up even into adulthood and theological education in seminary, the doctrine of original sin was placed front and foremost into our thinking and acting. In essence, we were born with this black mark on our soul because of the sin of our original parents (parable-wise: Adam and Eve). The only way to erase that black mark was through the waters of baptism.

That was bad enough. What was even worse, at least back then, was that those who had not been baptized would not enter heaven upon there death. Worst of all was that the only baptism that counted was Roman Catholic baptism. Thankfully, at least that belief was passé by the time I began studying theology immediately following the end of Vatican II. But original sin still showed its ugly face.

The truth, of course, is that we are indeed “marked”, influenced by that first sin whatever it was because the even greater truth is that those first human being who could think were born in original goodness. Once they did something that was not so good, called “sin”, they lost that perfect goodness forever. After that everyone born into this world is born into a world where sin happened. It is unavoidable.

But being born into a world where sin and selfishness are a way of life does not mean that we are born in sin or even with the mark of that original sin on our very soul. Being born into a sinful world is not the same as being born sinful. We are born, like those first humans, into original goodness. If we have the slightest doubt about that truth, all we have to do is just hold a baby in our arms: goodness personified!

For that baby there will come a time when he or she commits his or her original sin, first sin, the first time that human being deliberately says or does something knowing full well that it is wrong and selfish. Up until that time that person is living in original goodness. Even more importantly to remember is that that goodness does not immediately vanish upon the commission of that first sin.

We remain good from birth to death because we are the creation of a God who is infinite Goodness and everything that God creates remains forever good despite what that good person does in this life. That does not mean that we are given carte blanch to do whatever we want because God always forgives us. It does mean that we always have it within us to come to our senses and admit our sins and repent.

All of which brings us back to baptism whose main purpose is to welcome us into a community of likewise good and yet sinful and repentant people who will love and support us in our journey through life, helping us to always do the best we can; and when we do not, realize our mistakes, try to redress the hurt we have caused, learn from what we have done, and continue being the good person we have been from birth.

DON’T BLAME GOD

Whenever bad things happen to us not of our own making, like being in the wrong place at the wrong time, we almost automatically wonder what we did to deserve what has just happened. Did we do something sinful in our past the punishment for which is now catching up with us? After all, if we believe that we experience hell in this life, that we are going to pay for this life’s sins in the here-and-now and not in the hereafter, then this unforeseen and unexpected bad thing is simply our payment come due.

Makes sense to a degree. But usually the sin-come-punishment is tit for tat and we are acutely aware that we are now paying for our foolishness, even sinfulness. What is even worse is that even after once or twice having painfully paid for our discretions, we continue to do those things, say those words, that we know, sooner or later, will bring pain and suffering into our lives let alone many times into the lives of others, often the ones we love the most. So why do we continue to do it?

That’s the real question, isn’t it? The answer is simple: free will. While we want to believe that a good and loving God would never allow unjust pain and suffering to come our way; and while we want to believe that this same God would stop us in or tracks before we say or do that will bring pain and suffering to us and, even more, pain and suffering to others, God does not interfere.

In that sense God is at fault for giving us free will. Without it we would all be robots always doing the right and loving thing and never saying or doing anything that was not. That would not be much of a life. So blame God for free will that allows to do what we should not and then suffer the consequences for our misdeeds, but don’t blame God for allowing us to do what we know we should not do in the first place and enjoying it…until the consequences kick in.

God does not interfere with the workings of nature nor the workings of us human beings. What God does do is enjoy the fruits of our loving actions with us and cries when we are in pain because of the forces of nature, the consequences of the sins of others and of ourselves and, I think, especially when we keep doing what we know will bring pain and suffering to us to and others and do nothing to prevent it.

Why God created this world and the inhabitants thereof the way God did is a question whose answer will have to wait until eternity because no one of us smart enough to provide an adequate answer. Blaming God for what is wrong in this world may make us feel good and give us an excuse for the bad that happens, but it is simply a cop out. We have no one else to blame but ourselves, individual and collectively.

Our responsibility that comes with free will is to say and do that which we know God would have us say and do. Then we won’t have God to blame.

YOU NEVER KNOW WHAT YOU’LL GET

Several weeks ago there was a great Hagar the Horrible cartoon in the Sunday paper. Lucky Eddie is complaining to Hagar and says “Sea battles…dragons…zombie armies…magic castles…. Let’s face it. I’m in a rut.” Hagar replies: “Lucky Eddie, you need to get out of your comfort zone! You can’t be timid and weak! You’ve got to take daring dangerous chances to feel alive! You’ve got to walk through fire! Do you understand what I’m telling you?” “Yes,” Luck Eddie replies. “I’m going to ask out a redhead!”

I know what Lucky Eddie meant. I asked out a redhead. She said “yes”. And I married

her and life has never been the same since. Even if, like Lucky Eddie, you have an idea of

what you might  be in for, you never know what you’ll get until the time comes to

actually learn what you have. Then you have to learn how to deal with what is and not

what you thought it might be.

That is what life is all about, isn’t it? It is learning how to live with whatever cards we

have been dealt at the time they have been dealt. We can always speculate ahead of time

about how we will respond to a certain situation. But we never know for certain what we

will actually do when that situation arises. Life is full of too many contingencies for

which we cannot account ahead of time.

That is also what makes life so interesting, so exciting and even so frustrating. We just

never know what the day or the hour or even the minute will bring because so much of

our life is out of our control. We can ask a redhead for a date and think we know what we

might be in for and we might discover we hit the nail on the head. On the other hand, the

redhead might not be the “typical” redhead, if there is such a person. And there probably

is not. Well, maybe.

Every situation in life is different. Even so, we have to prepare ahead of time for what

might be even if what might be never happens. That is not simply the Boy Scout motto, it

is also the only way to live. Otherwise we will be setting ourselves up for disaster. If we

have no inkling about what to expect in a given circumstance, we would be foolish to put

ourselves in what truly might be harm’s way.

Yet, even when we are most prepared, we still never really know what will happen. All

we can do is do our part. That is, first to try to be as best prepared as we can be and then

once the situation arises, do the very best we can to respond. That is all we can do and all

that we can expect and even demand of ourselves.

Not all redheads are alike. No two people are alike. No two situations are ever alike. That

is why, again, we never know what we will get, what will happen. But that is also what

makes life so interesting, isn’t it?

FIRST THE PAIN AND THEN THE PLEASURE

No one likes to be in pain. No one likes to suffer, at least no sane person does. The masochists among us may seem to enjoy pain, even seek it out. But they have obviously a screw loose. Pain and suffering prevent us from fully being the person God created us to be. Perhaps we will never fully become that person as it seems that pain and suffering are part and parcel of this life on earth.

On the other hand it is precisely because we do suffer, that we are in pain – physical, spiritual, emotional – at many times in our lives that we know what it means to be fully alive when that pain and suffering passes, but not before. That truth would not seem so, but it is. We cannot know true pleasure, true joy, before we first know suffering and pain.

That is the truth that lies inside the parable of Adam and Eve. As the story goes, God placed them in paradise, the Garden of Eden, where they knew no pain or suffering. It was like being in heaven on earth. But they did not know so. They did not know what they had living there in paradise. It was only after they had sinned and then began to suffer that they fully understood what they had had and now no longer had. It was a difficult lesson to learn.

It is a difficult lesson to learn and we all have to learn it the hard way. There is no other way. The further truth is is that we like it that way – at least after we have learned that truth the hard way, the way of pain and suffering. All we need do is think about those times when we have been in great pain. It matters not what that pain was. Once that pain, that suffering, passed, we experienced the great pleasure that its passing produced. It is as if we never knew such pleasure now that the pain is gone.

That is not to say that we hope to be in pain, to suffer, just so that we can experience joy and pleasure, or at least to know exactly what true joy and true pleasure really is. Only a fool has such hopes. It is to say, however, that we need not live in fear when pain and suffering come our way, as it always does. We know from experience that the pleasure and joy that will follow will eventually outweigh the suffering we endured.

That does not mean that the promise of the joy and pleasure to come will make the present suffering any less painful. It will not. It is simply to say that we can never fully   understand what joy and pleasure is all about unless it has been absent in our lives through pain and suffering.

The corollary of this is the lesson from Adam and Eve. They did not know what they had when they were living a fully-pleasurable and joy-filled life. They took it for granted and suffered the consequences. When pain and suffering are absent from our lives, we, too, often take it for granted and not give thanks for what we now have because when pain returns, it will seem worse than it is. We need to enjoy the pleasure. We earned it!

MORE IS NEVER ENOUGH

Our two-year old grandson, Carter is in daycare while his parents work. He is learning yoga, sign-language, the alphabet and is being potty-trained among the other learning activities that the program provides. One of the first signs Carter learned was the one for “more”, meaning he wanted more food. Now Carter likes to eat. He always has. Thus, as concerned grandparents, one being a very health-conscious nurse, we were afraid that he would put on too much weight.

We needn’t have worried. Yes, Carter did sign for more (he now simply asks) when he wanted more, but he also shook his head and waved his hands when he had eaten enough. He knew when he needed more to fill his stomach and he knew when he had had his fill. He still does. I wish I had learned that lesson at Carter’s age. It’s still a lesson I all-to-often forget when it comes to food.

Don’t we all? We seem to want more and more and more and, at the same time, never know when we’ve had enough. That is true not only when it comes to filling our stomachs but in all of life. We live in a society that screams out to us that we can never have enough, that we can always use more, that, in fact, we do need more – more of whatever it is that has our attention at the moment.

Worse, still, is that when we have accumulated more than we ever need, we have a very difficult time letting go of some of it to share with those who need what we have but, in truth, no longer need because we already have enough, truly more than enough. The solution to the problem, once we understand that having more will never be enough and that chasing after more and more, is to let go of the chase after more before the chase even begins.

That is difficult, again, not only because of the society in which we live that tells us that more is better and society will think better of us the more we have, but also because we enjoy the pleasure that comes from the attaining of more, whatever that more is. It is a double-edged whammy. We fight the exterior forces that tell us we need more and the interior forces that give us pleasure in having more.

My hope for Carter is that he has already learned that when he really needs more, he will get more and that when he knows he has had enough, he will not ask for more. That lesson, once learned and made part of his life, will serve him well throughout the rest of his life. Unfortunately it seems to be a lesson we only learn as we enter the later stages of our lives almost when it is too late to do us much good.

I am thankful that my two-year-old grandson has taught me a lesson, or at least reminded me of a lesson I should never forget. I am even so bold as to suggest it is a lesson we all need to remember and certainly practice. Life will be more enjoyable if we do.

WHAT WE HAVE IS WHAT IS IMPORTANT

Every morning when I crawl, and I mean “crawl” out of bed, I am reminded that I am getting older, that, in fact, I am old even as I rebel against that thought and truth. Of course, it is better than the alternative. But that is something else both to think about and to give thanks for even as the bones creak and the muscles refuse to relax. Once upon a time, and not too long ago at that, getting out of bed was easy.

As we grow older, we lose much of what we once had both physically and mentally. I can no longer do well what I used to do well. The body simply will not allow it. There are also some abilities I once had that are lost forever. I used to run. Okay, jog. I can no longer do that now that I have two false hips. I cannot reach as high as I once did as I have lost an inch or so as my body succumbs to the realities of aging.

Mentally I am not as sharp as I once was. I am not as quick to recall a name or even remember what I had for breakfast. I want to attribute that not to approaching some form of dementia but to the fact that my brain is like a computer that has no delete function. It is simply getting fuller and fuller each day and, as a result, it takes me longer to retrieve something from all that memory. Works for me!

Growing older means we lose much of what we once had and even what we once were. Many people who are retired seem to lose a sense of worth because they are no longer known for what they did. They greet us with an “I used to be....” But we all used to be something. But that does not mean that we are now nothing. Growing older simply means finding out who we now are right now.

Mitch Albom in The Time Keeper puts the issue very clearly. “We all yearn for what we have lost. But sometimes, we forget what we have.” So true. We cannot get back what we have lost. It is lost. It is gone forever. We live in a fantasy world if we believe we can get it back. There are hucksters out there who are trying to sell us the illusion that we can be what we once were. They have miracle cures and wonderful remedies and the latest equipment to enable us to regain our lost youth or whatever it is that we seem to long for and would like to have back.

But that is a waste of time and certainly a waste of money if we go down that road. And while we are wasting precious time in the present longing for or chasing after that which is lost, as Albom reminds, we forget what we have. What we have is life even if that life is a little slower, bringing with it sore muscles and a different physical shape that we once worked so hard to attain but which is now gone with the wind.

What is important as we grow older, or at any stage of life, is to be aware of what we have right now: those many God-given gifts. And they are many. As I sit at the edge of my bed, dealing with the muscles rebelling against what I want to do next, namely stand up, I need to be thankful that I can stand, that I have a wonderful family who love me and that I am getting up precisely to use those God-given gifts and talents that still remain to see, seek and serve the Jesus I meet in everyone who crosses my path today.

WISDOM

Barbara Brown Taylor in her book An Altar in the World says this about wisdom: “Wisdom is not gained by knowing what is right. Wisdom is gained by practicing what is right, and noticing what happens when that practice succeeds or fails.” She is absolutely right, of course. She is not saying something that we do not know or understand. She is simply noting a truth that we often overlook or take for granted.

As we grow up our parents and teachers try to teach us what is right. They gave us rules and commandments to follow. They told us stories about their own experiences when they had to learn the hard way, the mistakes they made that were painful enough to insure they did not make them again. We listened to what they taught, stored their examples in the back of our minds hoping that, should we ever find ourselves in a similar situation, we would not make the same mistake they did.

Then when we did find ourselves in such a situation, what did we do? Did the lesson that was taught prevent us from making the mistake the teacher recounted? Did the commandment that told us not to do something prevent us from not doing it? Did the rule that was taught guide us to do what was taught when the situation arose to actually follow that rule?

The answer: sometimes yes and sometimes no. As Taylor notes, it was only when we actually did or did not do what we were taught to do that we actually learned the lesson that was taught. It became part of who we are. Knowing what to do and not to do does not make us wise. Wisdom in and of itself is meaningless. Wisdom only becomes meaningful when we put it into practice, when we live it.

As Taylor further notes, we learn both when we follow what we have been taught and when we fail to do so. In fact, I would opine that we learn more from our failures to follow what we have been taught that when we actually do. We learn more from breaking a commandment than from keeping it. That is not to say that we should deliberately break any of the commandments, disobey the rules of the house, so that we can learn what happens when we do. Learning the hard way often teaches us more than simply accepting the truth and following it.

On the other hand, we learn just as much after doing what were told, practicing what we were taught. The point is that we need to be just as attentive in noticing what we have learned in doing what was right as we are certainly attentive in noticing what we have learned when doing what was wrong. Wisdom comes from being attentive to what we have learned in living out what we have been taught.

Wisdom is not so much about book-learning or lessons taught to us by others, Wisdom is about putting into practice what we have been taught and learning from such experiences. We have an obligation to teach what we have learned to those who come after us; yet, like us, they will have to become wise in the same way we have: by practicing or failing to practice what they have been taught.

FATE, PROVIDENCE OR DUMB LUCK

Several weeks ago I had the privilege of officiating at my niece’s wedding. It was a grand and glorious affair if I must say so myself. During my short homily I was reflecting on the fact that almost the first words out of God’s mouth in Genesis is that it is not good for we human beings to be alone and that there is an innate drive in each one of us to find that special someone with whom we can share the rest of our lives – unless we choose otherwise, as do monastics and others.

How we find that person, I said, can be very interesting. Dominique and Quentin, the bride and groom, found each other on a blind date. Q’s parents met in a nightclub. Nique’s parents met at a bar. Nique’s Aunt met her husband walking the family dog. Her brother met his wife in college. Her cousin and her husband were high school sweethearts. Arlena and I met in church.

Was it fate that brought these couples together? Or was it the providence of God or simply dumb luck? I would have never met Arlena if she had not transferred from Good Shepherd in Parkersburg to Trinity in Parkersburg where I was called to be Rector. Would Nique and Q have met had they not gone out on that blind date? Would my sister and Dennis have ever met had there not been a big Saint Bernard that needed walking? What was it that brought all of us together?

Does it really matter expect for the fun it might be, in fact is, in speculating what our lives might now be like had we not been brought together by whatever it was that we believe brought us together? Personally, I have always attributed Arlena’s and my meeting to providence. My brother Fran might conclude that it was dumb luck. The night before Arlena arrived in church I was complaining to Fran that I was tired being alone. His reply: “Don’t worry. She’ll fall out of a tree!”

The point is that it really does not matter how two people meet. What matters is what happens after the meeting takes place. That is true not only when it comes to finding a relationship as in marriage. It is true any time in any place. We can always speculate about what brings people together. Sometimes it is mutual interest. Sometimes it is simply being in the same place at the same time. What is then important is where that relationship goes from there.

There are many, many times in life when the opportunity presents itself for us to meet another, others. Even if it is fate or providence or dumb luck that opens that door for us to walk through to meet and greet, we still have to walk through that door. Someone has to make the first move and sometimes it is mutual. I put the move on Arlena after church. She responded. She could have walked away. I’m thrilled she did not. Again, whatever it is that brings people together is, in the end, unimportant. What is important is what we do once we have come together.

WHO'S WHO: DOES ANYONE CARE?

While visiting, Nany, Arlena’s Mom, last week, I noticed a book on her desk through Readers Digest. It is titled Who’s Who in the Bible. It is an alphabetical list of every person mentioned in both the Old and New Testaments. It begins with Aaron (the brother of Moses) and ends with Zophar (a friend of Job – although calling Zophar a “friend” is a stretch given that what Zophar does is call Job a liar and a sinner because Job won’t admit that his/Job’s sins are the reason why he/Job is suffering so much. But I digress.)

There looks to be at least a thousand names listed in the almost-450-page book. I simply leafed through it, sort of proud of myself that I recognized most of the names even if I could not remember exactly who they were or in what context I would find them. I left the book on the desk even as it was calling out to me to ask      Nanny if I could borrow it so that I could spend some serious time with it.

The men and women whose lives are recorded in that book are my spiritual ancestors or certainly had an influence on that inheritance. Just as it is fun, interesting and even important to learn about one’s physical ancestors, so, too, I think, it is important to learn about those who are the background of our spiritual life even if at a distance of several thousand years.

Yet, my leaving the book on the desk certainly makes it seem as if I really don’t care all that much about all those people, especially given the fact that I am retired and certainly can find the time to spend some time reading and re-learning about them. The even sadder part is that I am not alone in this “I could care less” boat. My suspicion is that most of us, while we think learning about all these spiritual ancestors would be interesting, we have better things to do.

The truth is that we learn as much, if not more, from the past than we do from the present, if – and that is a big “if” – we are willing to make and take the time to do so. Life is a learning process from the day we are born to the day we die. If we can learn from someone else’s successes and failures, we can save ourselves not only a lot of heartache but also a lot of effort that could be of better use to us and to those we love.

As people of faith we should care about those who have gone before, who have much to teach us about how to live and how not to live, about how to be faithful and about what can happen to us when we are not. Yet, as history so often teaches us, we, as a people, seem to be intent on learning not from history, not from the past, but learning the hard way by making our own mistakes. What fools we are!

The next time we visit Nanny I think I will ask to borrow the book. She’ll probably wonder why I would need to read the book, why I would care to read it, as I suspect she assumes I know what’s in it given my vocation. If she only knew!

WHAT WE REALLY HAVE TO FEAR

In his first inaugural address in the midst of the Depression Franklin Roosevelt asserted that “the only thing we have to fear is fear itself”. That was, in its own way, quite true back then. When we live in fear, we are stymied. We cannot move ahead. Fear of the next bad thing, fear of the unknown begins to control our lives. And when we allow outside forces, fears, to be in charge, it is like living in hell. It is living in hell.

Of course, there have always been fear-mongers over the years, those who would have us believe that we are never safe anywhere, not even in our own homes hiding underneath our own beds. They have their own agendas for propagating fear, always for self-serving motives. They tell us they are concerned for our safety, our well-being, but they are only concerned about themselves and, of course, their power. For if someone can make us live in fear, that person has control over us.

That is certainly true today. Home-delivered pizza sales are up seemingly because people are now afraid to go out to eat even if most of us go out to eat more than we should because we eat too much when we do so. But, then, pizza is not exactly the most nutritious meal even if it is eaten at home. Compounding this fear are years of reading about Columbine, Oklahoma City, Sandy Hook, Orlando – the list goes on.

The truth is, however, that there is only one person we have to fear, really fear. That is the person who looks back at us in the bathroom mirror, the only person who controls our very life. Yes, we can listen to those who want us to be afraid of the dark, of the darkened theaters and dance halls, of the enclosed classrooms and of those who disguise themselves in dark clothing. If we want to give into that fear, they win and we lose.

We are in control of our fears. Yet the real fear that we should have as a Christian is not what others can or might do to us. It is what we can and might do to others, not with guns, not with violence, not in the dark or hiding behind false motives. Rather what we must fear is that we will hurt the ones we love in doing and saying unloving actions and words. That is what we truly have to fear.

Those who have committed and those who commit atrocious crimes against humanity were and are mentally unstable. Our failure as a society is to help such people get help instead of turning our backs on them and turning them out into the streets where their illness only gets worse, their fears only compound and they set off to somehow try to get even for what they perceive as a total lack of love by those who should love them the most. By then it’s too late to redeem their lives.

Is that putting too much blame on each of us individually? Probably. Yet the point is that when we fail to love others with all our heart and mind and strength and will, we only compound the fears of those we hurt. That is what we should fear.

IN DEFENSE OF TRIUMPHALISM -- SORT OF

The concluding verse of Matthew's Gospel commands us to make disciples of all people, baptizing them in the name of the Trinity, Father, Son and Holy Spirit. That is the mission of the Church. There is no disagreement about that. There is a disagreement, however, on emphasis. Roy Poindexter, writing many years ago, asked a rather pointed question. To wit:

           

"Why do we always seem to be trying to guide our thinking by the version of the Great Commission in the gospel of Matthew? In the last chapter of John's gospel is another version. There, instead of a priestly pronouncement about authority, recruitment, liturgical procedures, and triune doctrinairism, is a passionate cry that we prove our love for God by feeding his sheep. The former has too often meant conquest and triumphalism. The latter promises to nourish life, and might be better received by a world that feels exploited. Let's try starting with John's version for a change."

           

Well, okay. I remember years ago in seminary, in the 60's, the decade of social upheaval and unrest, when many of my colleagues were leaving seminary to go into social work. One of my professors, aghast and upset at this mass exodus to work in the inner cities, complained in a sermon: "A priest is more than a glorified social worker."

           

Well, okay. But a priest is also much more than the glorified high priest we were all being taught to become. There has to be a balance between triumphalism and service. All triumphalism and no service leaves Jack hungry. All social action and no triumphalism – here in the form or worship and mission – leaves Jack fat.

           

Jack, and you and I, need a little of both. We are nourished and fed through our worship and our mission not so that we can be self-satisfied, but so that we can go out and serve others and help satisfy their needs. We need to be fed in order to feed sheep.

           

It is easy to become triumphalistic, to get fat, to be self-satisfied. The Church of the 50's and 60's was just such a Church. It did not know how to respond to social unrest because it had been caught up in itself. Today, it sometimes seems the opposite: all the church is interested in is in the social arena. There has to be a balance.

           

The balance is struck when we realize that we gather as a community to worship, study, share, be in community so that we can go out to serve. It is not enough, however, to either worship or serve. Those who are served are also missing something: a community to be part of. We often overlook the fact that the many we are called to serve need more than a helping hand. They need and want to be part of a loving community that will nourish and nurture them as the community itself is nourished and nurtured in worship and service.

           

Triumphalism: "authority, recruitment, liturgical procedures, and triune doctrinism" is one side of the coin. The other side is that "we prove our love for God by feeding his sheep," clothing the naked, visiting the sick and lonely, and bringing them into a community. Both are equally important.