ALL DIFFERENT, ALL THE SAME

Our daughters are scattered, much to our chagrin. But that is life in this world today. We find our home where we find work. For the past few years we have tried to gather our daughters and their families at our home the second weekend in December to celebrate a family Christmas. We have yet to succeed in gathering all five at one time, again, such is life and work in this world today. We are grateful for what we can do.

What we were also grateful this Christmas that all our daughters were able to be in their church for Christmas. When we spoke with them about their experiences, they were all different and yet they were all the same. Two daughters worshipped in a little, white-clapboard building in a small college town where the “family-type” church gathers each Sunday.

Another daughter worshipped with a growing congregation in a modern church building: the rear of the church consisted of plate glass windows that looked out on the nearby lake. The congregation followed the service by looking up at two wide-screens attached to the wall upon which the Book of Common Prayer was projected as well as the hymns to be sung. The music was led by a synthesizer, guitars and other instruments.

Another daughter worshiped at the early, well-attended Christmas Eve Service at her multi-lingual, multi-racial parish. The congregation’s annual Christmas Pageant began the evening, the highlight of which was Joseph dropping Baby Jesus while he was trying to hand the infant to Mary. No harm done, fortunately, as grandson Carter was not baby Jesus who, thankfully, was just a doll baby. The next day Daughter #1 (as she always signs herself) and her sons worshipped at that same church along with seven other people including the priest.

On Christmas Eve I celebrated the Eucharist in the cathedral-like church in the blue-collar community I serve as Priest-in-Charge. We had triple our normal Sunday numbers which made the large building look at least rather full. Joining us was a hired brass ensemble and several volunteer choir members from the local Lutheran church to help make the service very festive.

Five services: all different and all the same. Every Christmas service is different. No two are alike. And yet each service is the same. That is true not only on Christmas but every Sunday.

It is also true about us human beings. My wife has been delving into our ancestry. What she has learned is, of course, that we are all different. No two human beings are exactly alike. And yet, we are all the same. Geneticists tell us that we are 99% alike as human beings. The differences, while important and what distinguish one from another, are, in the end, minimal. Unfortunately and sadly, over the course of history we human beings have spent an inordinate amount of time emphasizing our differences and wreaking all sorts of mayhem and havoc in the process.

My hope and prayer for 2015 is that we, the world over, recognize that while we are all different, in the end, we are all the same. That is the only way to bring peace to this world.

A CHRISTMAS WISH FOR THE TWELVE DAYS OF CHRISTMAS

If I had it in my power, I would love to give each and every one of you a gift a day for the twelve days of Christmas. It wouldn't me a material gift. Rather, I would give gifts that would last. If I could, then, this is my wish gift list for the twelve days of Christmas.   

On the First Day of Christmas my wish for you is a thankful heart in gratitude for the abundant blessings in your life and especially for the greatest blessing of all: God's Gift to us: Jesus.

On the Second Day of Christmas my wish for you is an open hand to reach out and touch someone who somehow believes that there is not much for which to be thankful.

On the Third Day of Christmas my wish for you is a smile on your face to brighten the life of just one person whose life seems so dark.

On the Fourth Day of Christmas my wish for you is to be a faithful friend for someone who just needs a friend.

On the Fifth Day of Christmas my wish for you is a sense of wonder and awe at the goodness of God and the goodness of others, freely given.

On the Sixth Day of Christmas my wish for you is a moment of peace amid the hectic lives we all seem to live and wish we did not.

On the Seventh Day of Christmas my wish for you is the grace and strength to forgive someone who has hurt you and perhaps doesn't realize it or maybe does but doesn't even seem to care. It may be the greatest gift you can give both to the other and to yourself.

On the Eighth Day of Christmas my wish for you is that you accept the forgiveness Jesus's birth and life and death and resurrection grants unconditionally. It is the greatest gift of all.

On the Ninth Day of Christmas my wish for you is an open mind to accept others just as they are, if only because we want others to accept us just as we are.

On the Tenth Day of Christmas my wish for you is a sense of thankfulness for the sadness and disappointments of life knowing that the cross is a gift we will never understand.

On the Eleventh Day of Christmas my wish for you is to understand that the material is never better than the spiritual, that it only seems that way, and only for the moment. The spiritual is eternal. The material always passes away and is never enough.

On the Twelfth Day of Christmas my wish for you is to discover that the real meaning of Christmas is the giving of love every day.

POOR SCOOBY-DOO

It is probably safe to assert that no man is good enough for a father’s daughter and no woman good enough for a mother’s son. How good that potential spouse has to be is known only to the one making the judgment. In most instances no one can fully live up to his or her future in-law’s expectations no matter how hard that person tries. We parents are very protective of our children, even over-protective at times. What allows us to give the future spouse a chance is that we know we have not lived up to our in-law’s expectation of us.

We have two sons-in-law. Both are already very protective of their offspring even as they are still not yet teenagers. Fortunately they are not protecting them from us which allows us to spoil them as much as we can, and, as all grandparents do, go home and leave mom and dad to deal with the fall out. It’s called Parent’s Revenge!

Back in the day when we were young, our parents protected us, but their task was much easier than the task our children have protecting our grandchildren. When it came time for us to raise our children, it was a more difficult task than it was for our parents and not because we were such good children growing up or because our children were so bad. It was a different world out there when we were parenting

And it has only gotten worse for our children raising their children: more violent, more temptations, more chances to get hurt, seriously so. I do not envy our children trying to raise our grandchildren who are “growing up in an unsteady and confusing world,” as the Prayer for Young Persons has it in The Book of Common Prayer. I pray daily for our grandchildren and I pray for their parents.

And yet, there are times when we have to smile. As much as I sometimes rant about how much cell phones seem to be taking control of our lives, the one great advantage is that our children can send us pictures of our grandchildren without having to get them developed and then sending them by snail mail. We receive them almost immediately after they are taken. And because our grandchildren live away, the pictures keep us up to date.

One of the latest is a photo of Carter, two-months old, propped up in his parent’s bed with his trusty sidekick, Carmine, a Shih Tzu, right beside him. They are watching Scooby-Doo cartoons because Carter seems to like all the color. Obviously, so does Carmine who is also enthralled with Animal Planet. We loved the photo. Dad, however, is concerned. He does not want his son getting used to watching too much television. Poor Scooby-Doo.

However, on this one Dad is up against it. Both Carter’s mom and his grandmother still love to watch Scooby. Can the little one get his fill of Scooby and still not become a television junkie? On the other hand, Dad loves to play his video games with his son sitting next to him. Is mom concerned that Carter might become a video-game junkie? Makes you want to smile. In fact it did. Don’t you just love it?

I CAN'T WAIT

When our girls were growing up during this time of the year, we would often hear them say to us, “I can’t wait. I just can’t wait for Christmas.” We would smile and say, “Honey, you’ll just have to. Christmas will get here soon enough.” But, of course, it would never be soon enough for them. They wanted to celebrate right then and there. As Christmas approached, their anticipation and impatience only increased. Was it any wonder they had to wake us so early Christmas morning?

Whether or not this forced waiting did them any good, made them appreciate Christmas any better is an unknown. Yet being forced to wait should have. It certainly should for those of us who are old enough to know that we can’t rush time no matter how much we desire to do so. Time marches on in its preordained pace and nothing and no one can or will make it go faster or slow it down.

What matters, of course, is what we do with the time, what we do while we await whatever it is we are awaiting. How we use that time more often than not will determine how the event we await turns out. I am awaiting a surgical repair to my artificial hip at the end of January. How I use the time between now and then may, and probably will, determine the outcome of the surgery.  If I follow my surgeon’s instructions, if I don’t obsess about the surgery and worry about its outcome, I trust all will be well. If not, maybe not.

The same is true for this time of the year. I suspect our kids (sorry, girls, you will always be our kids no matter how old you are) never used the waiting time between their first notion that Christmas was coming soon and its actual arrival to reflect on the real meaning of that celebration. For them the real meaning was material (presents) and not spiritual (the celebration of the presence of Jesus in their lives). They could be excused even when we tried to help them understand the spiritual. They were kids after all.

We adults, however, cannot get off so easily. Nor should we. Advent is a time of waiting. For certain we know for whom and for what we are waiting. Again, what is important is how we use this time between now and then. It is so easy to get caught up in the material the way children do that we have little or no time to reflect on the spiritual. In fact, the material element that has become such a necessary part of the celebration can so consume us that the spiritual element, which is what the day is all about, is simply lost.  

Given all the material distractions of the Advent season, distractions that will not go away and from which we cannot hide, it takes an effort, perhaps a supreme effort, for us to find and make the time to reflect on the spiritual reason for our celebration of Jesus’ birth among us. We don’t have to find a lot of time. That may be asking too much. I don’t think Jesus is asking too much of us if we would just find a little time each day, a minute or two, to quietly reflect on the real meaning of Christmas and to give thanks for all the undeserved blessings that have been given to us. Doing so will make our waiting both meaningful and worthwhile.