CONFLICTING ADVICE

My SOP (Standard Operating Procedure) after church on Sunday afternoons is to work the two crossword puzzles in the Post-Gazette. I start with the easier one and then finish with the one from The New York Times. The latter is not always fun to do especially when the theme is difficult to decipher and when the answers to the theme demand that you decipher how to fill in the blanks: backward to forward, upside down, etc. At least it keeps my mind from stagnating.

A few weeks ago the theme was “Conflicting Advice” and was both relatively easy to solve and fun as well. To wit: the clue was “He who hesitates is lost, but…” (and the answer was) “Look before you leap.” Thus: “You can’t judge a book by its cover, but…” “Clothes make the man.” “Birds of a feather flock together, but…” “Opposites attract.” “Great minds think alike, but…” “Fools seldom differ.” “Slow and steady wins the race, but…” “Time waits for no man.” “Knowledge is power, but…” “Ignorance is bliss.”

Conflicting advice, even in a crossword puzzle and even good advice on both sides of the equation. If we delay too long, we may lose a golden opportunity. But if we don’t examine that opportunity before we accept it, we may be in for a heap of trouble. Judging a person by outward appearance only is foolish because it is the inner person that is the real person. But, then, a slob may simply be a slop yet Brooks Brother’s clothes may truly define the man.

It is true that those with the same likes tend to find compatible space but that space may be dull and boring because they are all alike. On the other hand, great relationships are often the result of fundamental differences. Those differences keep the relationship alive and vibrant as long as the differences are acknowledged, agreed upon and tolerated. Brilliant people do tend to find one another but so do fools.

Taking one’s time usually insures success but taking too much time may mean that someone else beats us to the goal. Having the right answer does make one powerful over those who do not know or understand what to do. But sometimes allowing the one with the knowledge to make the decision is indeed blissful.

In this life in this world we give and are given all kinds of advice. Sometimes, as the puzzle reminds, the advice we are given can be very conflicting and we are left scratching our heads wondering what we are supposed to do, whom we are supposed to believe. When we are the ones giving the advice, we want to make sure that the person we are advising understands that there may be two sides to the issue at hand.

In the end, we give it our best knowing that because we are not infallible, we may make the wrong decision. Time will only tell. If we chose the correct advice and it worked out well, good. If we chose wrongly, so be it. At least we will have learned from it.

CORN, QUILTS AND THE BUTTER COW

For whatever reason, my ministry has taken Arlena me to many parts of this great country. Most of my colleagues stay in the same diocese throughout their ministries and remain in a parish for many years. My tenures have been as short as five years and as long as a little over seven-and-a-half. We have lived in West Virginia, Pennsylvania, Washington State and Iowa.

Living where we did, we were able to see so much of this great land almost right outside our door. What I always found fascinating is that many of our neighbors never saw what we saw. Oh, they knew that the sights we went to see where there and that they would get there someday. Only they never did. Thousands of residents in Parkersburg, WV, have never been to historic Blennerhassett Island where it is reputed that Aaron Burr began plotting on the overthrow of the government.

An equal number in Warren, PA, have never been to Lake Erie or Niagara Falls. Even more in Spokane, WA, have never been to the top of Mt. Spokane which they can see looking out their front doors. One wonders how many people in Cedar Rapids have never been to the iconic Iowa State Fair. Well, we were one of that number until this year when we simply had to get there.

Why? Because my wife had to see The Butter Cow! Since 1911 they have been sculpting a life-size 600 pound cow made out of butter measuring about 5-1/2 feet high and eight feet long. We saw it and it was impressive. We also saw Iowa as Iowa: barns full of hens, cows, sheep, rabbits, horses and pigs; rows and rows of vegetables; corn stalks 20 feet tall; ate a pork chop on a stick and ice cream made from heavy cream from Iowa cows; hundreds of quilts and listened to young entertainers entertaining. It was a blast.

But the highlight, and the only way my mother-in-law would let us into her house, was Iowa corn. We had to bring her a dozen. Iowa corn is the absolute best corn in the world. She even shared one with us, something she did not do years ago when we brought her some on a visit home from Iowa.

The point of all this? Every part of this country is special even if there are times when we may wonder what that specialness is – as Arlena and I did driving through Texas on our way to Austin. But it is there. We just have to look for it. But the reason why any place is special to the people who live there is that it is home, even if they never get more than thirty miles from their front door.

As Dorothy said, “There is no place like home.” We often take that truth for granted when what we need to do is pause and simply be grateful. There may be better places to live, better sights to see, better food to eat. But home is where the heart is. That’s what is important in the end, isn’t it?