SOMETIMES IT ONLY TAKES A SMILE

Several years ago, don’t ask me how many as the years pass so quickly and fade so easily into oblivion, I was out grocery shopping. As I got out of the car and approached the entrance to the store, I noticed a sign on the closest parking spot to the store’s entrance, a sign that I had never seen before. It read “Parking for expectant mothers”. I smiled and continued towards the entrance. A young employee was sitting on a bench on her break. She said to me, “It’s nice to see someone smile today.”

I suspect I made her day, or at least that part of the day. On the other hand, my wife, The Nurse, whenever she sees that same sign anywhere reminds me that the sign should be at the far end of the parking lot and not next to the door because what expectant mothers need to do is walk. They need the exercise. Once again, I smile. Sometimes it does not take very much to do so.

Sometimes we forget that. There is so much to smile about in this life, in this world of ours. That is not to discount the truth that there is also so much to be sad about. The daily news is replete with tragic stories near and far. One cannot smile when floods devastate, when innocent children are struck down by a stray bullet, when a terrorist strikes. No smile at all, just tears.

And yet sometimes all it takes is a smile to brighten the day of someone having a bad day. We’ve all had them and will have them again and again. Even more, we never know when those days are coming. Some days start off wonderfully and then something happens, something is said, and we’re down in the dumps, Maybe, like the young lady at the grocery store, we take a break to get away from it for a while hoping that when we return, things will be better. Maybe they will be. Maybe they won’t.

That does not mean that when life is not going the way we would like it to go at the moment and, for whatever reason everything seems to be going south, we put on a happy face and pretend all is well. That only makes the situation worse. What it does mean is that sometimes in such situations we have to remember that things could indeed be worse. That, at least, is a reason to smile.

The point is that we so often takes life’s little pleasures for granted. We don’t take the time to stop and smile about whatever it is that gives us a sense of joy at the moment. I don’t remember why I stopped and smiled when I read the sign. I don’t even know why I looked up to see and read it in the first place. The fact that I did and that it made someone I did not know who was obviously having a bad day feel better made me feel good. And I have never forgotten that moment.

Silly? I suppose. But it is those unexpected moments in our lives that make another smile that can lift someone up who is down and make our life at the moment even more joyful. 

THE JOY OF WONDER

In this very, very busy world in which we live and move and have our being, we are encouraged time and again to “Stop and smell the roses”. The emphasis is on “stop”. We can see much of the world as we travel its highways and byways, but we only get a glimpse of what that world really is. But unless we actually stop and take a serious look at what are eyes behold, we will never really see what we are looking at.

Those in the know, and I am not one of them, tell us that we need to spend at least fifteen seconds observing whatever it is we have cast our eyes upon to really see and smell that rose, for instance. It is only when we stop and take serious time to see and smell that we can experience the joy of the wonder of God’s creation. Otherwise, I think, we take so much, if not all, of creation for granted.

Well, I know I do. I’ve seen it all before, I say to myself. But the truth is that I have not really seen it. I looked at it but did not see the essence of it, whatever that “it” happens to be. That is true not only of the world around us and everything in that world, but it is even more true about the people around us. It is only when we take the time to truly see the other person that we can find the joy that person brings into our lives.

How often have we said to ourselves that we did not expect to see what we just saw? We stood there in wonder. “I never saw that coming,” we say. “I never expected that from her.” “He surely surprised me!” Why were we so stupefied, if you will? Because we had never taken the time to get to know that person. We just sort of took him or her for granted and let it go at that.

Not until we were overjoyed as we stood there in wonder at what we had just seen, just experienced, that is. Life is full of surprises mostly, I dare say, because we tend to rush through so much of it that we miss so much of what is right there in front of us. The good part is that at least when we do take the time to stop and make eye contact, we see something or someone wonderful and that fills us with joy.

The old song tells us to slow down because we move too fast, that we need to make the moment last. Being told what to know, even knowing what to do does not always make us do what we should. We keep on moving too fast through life and, as a consequence, miss so much of what God is trying to help us see but won’t make us either stop or open our eyes even when we do. It is up to us.

The memories of those times when we did in fact stop and smell the roses, when we stopped and had a conversation with someone we have known for so long but never really got to know are only reminders of how much joy there is for us to experience when we are overcome by the wonder of what we have just experienced. We need to slow down and take time each day to experience the joy of wonder.

SEEING GOD

How do we see, how can we see the unseen God? We believe in God even as we cannot prove that God exists. We believe God loves us unconditionally even though we always have our doubts when we have done something we know God would never wish we would have done. We believe there is life after death even though no one who has ever died has come back to earth to make us believe it is so. Okay, Jesus did. But then we believe Jesus is God and God can do anything but we cannot.

So much of what we believe is just that: belief. It is not knowledge, yet we accept it almost as if it were knowledge even if we cannot prove its veracity. But we have to in order to live life in this world. That is true not only about our belief in God but also true about our belief in others and about life itself.

Yet we are always striving to prove to be true what we can only believe to be true. Our minds are restless from birth to death, restless for the truth whatever that truth happens to be at that moment in our lives. Thus, we will never stop trying to see God, grab hold of God, learn about God in whatever way we can. Most of the time we only catch a glimpse of God and that suffices for the moment.

But to actually see and touch and feel God? The only way that that can be done is to see God in people. We are all children of God. We believe that. And as a child of God, God lives in us just as our parents live in us and we live in our children. It is DNA but more than that. The genetics make it true. But, as we all discover as we grow older, we find our parents coming out in us – the way we think and act and speak.

So, too, God our parent, comes out in us in the way we think and act and speak. How often have we said or done something that was exactly what had to be said or done at that moment in time and then afterwards wondered where that came from? It was God coming out in us which we call the Holy Spirit. That is true for every human being regardless of race, gender or even religion. God lives in each and every person.

Thus, if we truly want to see God in the flesh, all we need do is look in the mirror and look at every person we see. Somewhere inside that person is God alive and well. That person, including ourself, may not always think and act and speak in Godly ways, but that does not lessen the truth that God is alive therein.

What each of us has to do is twofold. First, we have to recognize the God who lives in us and who works in this world in and through us. Second, we have to see the God who lives in everyone else. That will not always be easy in either instance. But it is the only way that we will be able to find reconciliation with one another in this life in this world. We cannot bring about this reconciliation all by ourselves but we can do our part in our little corner of the world by helping others see God in us as we seeing God in them.

THE DIS-EASE OF DISCONNECTION

Richard Rohr – Franciscan priest, spiritual director, prolific writer – in his wonderful and readable book on the Trinity, The Divine Dance, explains, as best that can be done on the subject, the connection between the three persons of the Trinity. That said, that also does not mean that after reading the book I have a clear understanding of the subject, only a clearer one than I had before I read the book. Such is the Trinity!

One of his main points is that not only is there a connection between the persons of the Trinity, there is also a like connection between the Trinity and each one of us. Given the truth of that reality, and I do believe it is true, the follow-up to that truth is that there should likewise be a connection between each and every one of us, between all of humanity. There should be.

But there is not. To quote Rohr: “The greatest dis-ease facing humanity right now is our profound and painful sense of disconnection.” If we are not uneasy about this disconnection, we are living in an unreal world. The disconnection is both small and great. Go out to eat. Look around. What do we see? Once the waitperson takes the order, everyone at the table pulls out a cell phone. The disconnection begins.

One might argue that these marvelous devices keep us connected. Yes, but only to a degree but not really. The art of real conversation is being lost and so has the connection between people. Arlena and I have lived in our neighborhood for over eight years. We walk almost every day. Because we are free, we walk whenever the spirit moves. The other day we were walking when the high school bus stopped and left off the riders. We saw a young man get off the bus whom we had never seen before. He has lived down the block from us all the while we have lived on the block.

As a nation we are uneasy because we have become disconnected one from another. We have lost the art of conversation and have crawled into our little shells and into our own little world. We cannot see anything but what we see because we refuse to even try to see from another perspective. The only way to see as another sees is to have a conversation with that person. That takes being connected.

Again, as Rohr explains, we are already connected through the Trinity. But making that connection work in this life in this world means being open to the other, listening with open ears and heart and mind, being willing to change our thoughts and actions if necessary. That, of course, is not easy because it may mean that we were wrong.

We cannot change this dis-ease with the present disconnection all by ourselves. What we can do is make the effort to become more connected in our own lives. It will not always be easy because we may learn something about ourselves that we would rather not; but if and when we do, we will be better for it and certainly less at ease.