IS THIS WHERE I'M SUPPOSED TO BE?

Continuing my reflection on this prayer of Saint Terese of Liseaux: "Today may there be peace within. May you trust that you are exactly where you are meant to be. May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith in yourself and others. May you use the gifts that you have received and pass on the love that has been given to you. May you be content and give thanks in all situations. Let this knowledge settle into your bones, and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, praise and love. It is there for each and every one of us."

Am I really meant to be here where I am now? I mean, did God somehow preordain that on this day in my life I was to be where I now find myself? No. If that were true, then I would have no free will. If our lives have been laid out for us from the moment of our conception to the moment of our death, then we would not be responsible for anything that we say or do. We would have been programed from the start by God.

As wonderful as that might sound or even seem when we have to explain why we have just done something we know was wrong, we know no one will buy the excuse that “God made me do it”. We can’t even buy it as much as we ourselves would like to. We know we did it and we know we did it of our own free will.

Even so, are there not times in our lives when we ask, “Why am I here? What am I doing here?” Those are the times in our lives when our lives are not going the way we would like them to go, when we find ourselves in situations where we would rather not be, where we would like to be somewhere else, anywhere else but where we are right now.

We’ve all been there. Some of us may even be there right now wondering if this is where we were meant to be, trying to trust in God that this is where God wants us to be, where God means for us to be at this moment in our lives. The hard truth, of course, is that where we are is where we are. As much as we might wish to be somewhere else, we are here where we are and not where we might wish to be.

That’s where the trust comes in. The trust is not so much that where we are is where God meant for us to be so much as it is that we trust that God will give us all that we need to do what God would have us to do where we now are. It is more than making the most of a bad situation, although that is what we are to try to do. It is more than that, much, much more than that.

What it is accepting the fact that we are where we are, exactly where we should be, not dwelling on how we got here or even whose fault it was, but trusting that we have a God-given purpose, whatever that purpose, and to find and fulfill that purpose as best we can, knowing that God will give us all we need to do so. Even more, might not peace within begin by trusting that we are exactly where we are meant to be?

PEACE WITHIN

This prayer of Saint Terese of Liseaux was sent to me by and old friend. "Today may there be peace within. May you trust that you are exactly where you are meant to be. May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith in yourself and others. May you use the gifts that you have received and pass on the love that has been given to you. May you be content and give thanks in all situations. Let this knowledge settle into your bones, and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, praise and love. It is there for each and every one of us." In the next few weeks I would like to reflect on the prayer.

Peace within and peace without. We would, if we could, like to be able to control what goes on around us, to make our world and thus our lives peaceful. But we cannot and we know we cannot. We read the newspapers, we watch the news, we listen to NPR and we hear over and over again about the conflicts, large and small, taking place all over the world and all around us, even in our own backyards and, sadly among or own family and friends. Peace without is out of our hands.

That does not mean that we throw up our hands in resignation that we can do nothing and simply have to accept the truth that we are living in a very unpeaceful world. Jesus’ desire that peace be with us always still commands our attention and our response, which means doing all we can to be at peace one with another. We have to do our part, do what we can do, which is all God asks of us. If we do our part in trying our best to live in peace with others, we have to leave the rest in God’s hands.

While we are not in control of what goes on about us, we are in control with what goes on within us. Peace within, peace from within is in our hands. Peace within, I think, begins with the realization and the acceptance of the truth that we can only control what we can control, and that is ourselves. Easier said than done, as we all know from firsthand experience, or should I say, firsthand failure?

As Christians we are moved to worry about so much that is simply out of our control and we allow that worry to consume us in such a manner that we cannot find peace of mind no matter how hard we try. We toss and turn at night and wring our hands in frustration during the day. This is not to say that we should not be so concerned. It is to say that when we are so consumed with worry over that which we cannot control, we will never be at peace within. Never.

That does not mean that we take a happy-go-lucky approach to everything acting as if we have not a worry in the world. What it does mean is that when we find ourselves not being able to find that peace from within, we need to begin to reflect on the rest of St. Therese’s prayer. Even more importantly, we need to take those worries and concerns to the one who always hears our prayers and who, when all said and done, is the only one who can help us find that peace within: our God.

STORIES TO TELL

The older I grow, the more I listen, and I mean really listen, the more I come to understand that we all have stories to tell: stories that tell who we are, how we came to the place we are right now; stories that tell of our past, our present, and give some hint of the future; stories of our joys and our sorrows, of our celebrations and our pain; stories one and all.

 If you are like me, and I suspect you are, some of the stories we hear are more dramatic than other stories. Some hold us on the edge of our seat; and some want to make us get out of our seat and go give the story-teller a hug to say that it is okay, that all will be well again; and some want to make us jump out of our seat in joy that all turned out well.

It is wonderful to hear those stories, even those stories filled with grief and pain and suffering. It is wonderful to hear those particular stories because it is a reminder to us that we are not alone, a reminder that we are all wounded; a reminder that no one gets through this life free from pain and suffering.

It is wonderful to hear those stories, especially those stories filled with joy and happiness, stories of resurrection following a painful death, whatever shape that death took, for death comes in many shapes and sizes and each death brings with it some form of resurrection and new life. We all have those stories, too.

We all need to be reminded of those stories in our lives and to hear the stories that others tell about their lives. Those stories help us get through the down times and make the up times even more joyful.

If there is a sadness, it is that some of us are reluctant to tell our stories, sad or joyful, because they are either too painful or because we are private people. But I have learned over the years that healing does not take place until and unless we share our stories, share our stories with those who listen knowingly and with great understanding because they have been there too and may be there now.

If a church community is nothing else, if it does nothing else, it must be a place where we can gather to tell our stories. Because it is in the telling of the story that personal healing takes place. It is in the telling of the story that enables us to move from a place of pain and suffering to a place of joy and resurrection. It is in the telling of our personal stories, one to the other, to others, that we become a family.

Life is really one story after another, one story intertwined with another, one story setting the stage for the next. All stories are important and no one’s story is more or less important than another because no one of us is more or less important than another.

The more time we make and take to tell our stories and to listen to those of others, the better we will be. We must always be open to listen to and to tell those stories.

WITH EYES WIDE SHUT

A short parable: A young couple moves into a new neighborhood. The next morning while they are eating breakfast, the young woman sees her neighbor hanging the wash outside and says, "That laundry is not very clean; she doesn't know how to wash correctly. Perhaps she needs better laundry soap." Her husband looks on, remaining silent. Every time her neighbor hangs her wash to dry, the young woman makes the same comments. A month later, the woman is surprised to see a nice clean wash on the line and says to her husband: "Look, she's finally learned how to wash correctly. I wonder who taught her this? “The husband replies, "I got up early this morning and cleaned our windows." And so it is with life. What we see when watching others depends on the clarity of the window through which we look.

Isn’t that the truth? It is also true that it is difficult for us to admit to that truth. We like to think, nay, believe, that we see clearly at all times, that we are not blinded by prejudices, or set in our ways by our culture, or influenced not only by our own past experiences but even worse by the thoughts and opinions of those others whom we allow to think for us rather than thinking for ourselves.

The fact that we also at times see with rose-colored glasses does not lessen the guilt that is ours when we fail to see the truth when it is right in front of us or accept what is said to be the truth without ever questioning its veracity or the veracity of the one telling us that “truth”. Sometimes it is even wrong to allow ourselves to wear those glasses that color the hard truth and tell us that what we see is really not as bad as it is or the person doing what is wrong is really not so bad after all.

There are times, too, when we do not want to see the truth because it will force us to do something that is difficult and painful, whether it is to call on the carpet someone we love or to place ourselves on that carpet and face the consequences of our actions. It had to be difficult for the husband in the parable to confront his wife with the truth and it was perhaps even more difficult for his spouse to face the truth.

It always is. We do not like to admit to the truth of our failings and shortcomings, our sins of commission and omission. It is always painful to do so. Even more, we do not like to have to point out the errors of their ways to those we love and who love us. That, too, is always painful. The truth hurts, but it only hurts because we have avoided the truth and are now having to pay the piper, as they say.

We can always find reasons why we allow our prejudices or our upbringing or our past or the voices of those who shout the loudest to excuse our words and actions when we know there really is no excuse except perhaps pure laziness. It takes effort, often a great deal of effort, to confront all those internal and external influences that keep our eyes shut to the truth, whatever that truth may be.

Our life, if it is to be led to the fullest and in the way we know it should be led, must be with our eyes wide open and accepting no excuses why they are not.

FUZZY WUZZY BEARS

Remember that old camp song, Vacation Bible School song that says "If I were a fuzzy-wuzzy bear, I'd thank the Lord for my fuzzy-wuzzy hair"? And then concludes, "I just thank you Father, for making me me." Cute? Of course! But fuzzy-wuzzy bears are more than cute. They are creations of God. And so are all those other animals in the song -- butterflies and billy goats and wiggly worms. And so are you and I. We're cute, too. But we're more than cute, too. Much more. Like fuzzy-wuzzy bears we too should thank God for making us who we are.

Sometimes that is rather difficult because sometimes we don't like who we are. We stand in front of the mirror looking just as God created us and we get an inferiority complex. And it doesn't help in the least when we pick up a magazine and see all those quote "beautiful people" pictured. All that does is make us moan and groan some more about our physical shortcomings.

Nor does it matter that deep down we know that beauty is not only in the eye of the beholder, it is also more than skin deep. Yet so often we are blinded by what we see. We find it difficult to get beyond and below the surface, past the outward appearance. But we have to do that if we are going to be able to be and become that person God created us to be and who we really are, "For making me me." Me, not someone else.

There are some parts of us we may want to change: our weight or hair color, for instance. But if we do, we need to ask why we want to change. If it is to help us be better at being the person God created is to be, fine. If it is to be other than we who are, not so fine.

We should not need to be reminded that God loves us just as we are, the way God created us. Now that may not be the same thing. We may have changed by trying to be someone who we are not. But only we know that. We know why we are doing what we are doing, even if we do not like to admit it. Yet, in order to live out our faith, we have to be the person God created us as, not the person we want to be.

Maybe fuzzy-wuzzy bears are lucky. They can only be fuzzy-wuzzy bears. You and I can be so many things other than who we are. But it is only when we begin to love ourselves as God loves us, with all our so-called "imperfections" that we can really begin to live out our faith. Besides, an imperfection is a contradiction to our faith. God does not do anything imperfectly or create anyone imperfectly. What we consider imperfections are really our particular and personal God-given differences.

As long as we concentrate on our differences, it will be impossible for us be that person God created us to be because we'll still be wrapped up in ourselves and won't have the time or the inclination or the desire to think of, let alone help and serve, anyone else.

Living out our faith begins when we can thank God for bald heads, flat feet, bulging waistlines and all the rest of those differences that go into “making me me”. Living out that faith follows. But not until then.