DRIVING UNDER THE INFLUENCE

We all know that driving under the influence of drugs or alcohol, which, of course, is a drug, is both illegal and immoral. It is illegal. It is the law. One can be arrested, jailed and made to pay a fine if one is apprehended driving under such an influence. It is also immoral because one is needlessly putting one’s own life and the life of other innocent people in one’s hands while driving so impaired.

Yet driving under the influence of drugs of any kind is not the only manner in which the way we drive can be impaired and thus dangerous both to others and to ourselves. Driving under the influence of a cell phone that seems to demand our immediate attention even though the message that that phone will impart is almost always a message that can wait, that is not life-threatening, certainly not as life-threatening as talking on the phone while driving down the road, that, too is almost immoral and, perhaps, soon to become against the law as well. It goes without saying that texting and driving is probably the most dangerous of all.

If my parents were alive today, my Mom would assert that my Dad drove under the influence of ice cream. She often said that there was not an ice cream stand around that did not beckon to him when he was on the road. He always seemed to be on the lookout for one. In truth, my siblings and I appreciated that addiction because it meant that when his addiction directed him to such a location, we would be the happy beneficiaries. Our only regrets were that it did not happen more often than it did.

It was a good thing that there were and are no laws against driving under the influence of ice cream or, in my case, driving under the influence of chocolate. For me, if that craving-for-chocolate gene kicks in and I am on the road, my attention wanders and I am on the lookout for the next place to stop to feed that addiction. It is not a pretty sight. It is also an addiction that I will fight for the rest of my life. Again, the only consolation is that I cannot be arrested for such an addiction and driving under its influence.

On the other hand, would it not be wonderful if we all both would and could not only drive but live under the influence of our faith, be addicted to living out our lives as we know our faith demands of us? Not only would be not drink and drive or text and drive or talk on the phone and drive, we would always respect the lives of everyone we encounter wherever we encounter them as well as our own lives.

We would also not allow anything, even ice cream or chocolate, money, success or pleasure to so control our lives that we do unto others and even unto ourselves that which we know our faith demands that we do not.

Every day we are bombarded with unhealthy and unchristian desires that want to influence and control the way we live our lives. They are all very pleasurable, which is why they are so tempting and so addicting if we give in to them and so difficult to resist. They will never go away in this life. That is why we must always pray for the grace and strength to stay awake and alert while at the wheel of life.

DANCING AT THE WEDDING

When I was ordained, the first priest I served under as an Assistant Pastor I had also served as an altar boy many years before. There were times when he still thought of me as such. That was his problem even if it once or twice caused some problems for me. One of those occasions was forty-three years ago this month. I remember it vividly and still smile, albeit perversely I admit, when I think about it.

It was January and he was on vacation back in his home country in Italy. A visiting priest took two of the Masses and I had other three. The Gospel that Sunday was the one about Jesus turning water into wine at the wedding feast in Cana. In my sermon I intimated, no, I asserted that if there had been dancing at that celebration, and there probably was, Jesus surely danced at the wedding.

Not long after he returned from his vacation, he called me into his office and proceeded to chew me out. He had heard about my sermon, he said. Someone in the parish was so scandalized by my assertion that Jesus would dance at a wedding that person had called the Bishop to inform him of my assuredly heretical belief. The Bishop must also have believed that what I said was heresy because he called my boss to enlighten me about my false theology and to make certain I never wandered down that road again.

I accepted my chastisement humbly and promised never to be so foolish again to even think Jesus would lower himself to such an obvious display of silliness and, even worse, to proclaim my belief from the pulpit. Of course, the person who ratted on me, my bishop and my boss were wrong back then and they would be wrong to assert that I was wrong even today. If there had been dancing at the wedding in Cana, Jesus danced.

So there! And why not? Why would Jesus not dance? Because he would have to hold a woman in his arms? Oh My God, that would be leading him into temptation and Jesus must never be led into temptation. But, then, he did hang out with a lot of prostitutes and public sinners on many an occasion, did he not? I can’t believe any one of that ilk was at the wedding let alone be a dancing partner of Jesus. But, again why not?

As Christians, as followers of and believers in Jesus, we are asked to imitate his life. Even on a very mundane level that is difficult enough to do. But if we begin to put the standard Jesus set so high that we cannot possibly attain it, we will soon not make the attempt. If we believe that Jesus would refrain from any human and acceptable activity, like dancing at a wedding, because it might lead him into temptation, or worse, scandalize those who believe him to be God’s Son, then Jesus can and could no longer be a role model. He would simply be a plastic, perfect figment of our imagination.

Our Jesus, the one you and I believe in, and I hope the one that parishioner and my Bishop and my boss believed in, was tempted in every way as we are. Any situation can be an occasion of sin, even dancing at a wedding. That does not mean that every situation is, even dancing at a wedding. My Jesus danced at the wedding. I guess my Bishop’s didn’t. Your Jesus?

QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS

Frank, or maybe it’s Ernest, I’m not sure who is who, is reading the newspaper (in the Frank & Ernest comic strip by Bob Thaves), asks, “What concerns you more about politicians, unanswered questions or unquestioned answers?” Lest anyone’s hackles get aroused, let us all admit that while politicians are experts at both not answering specific questions with specific answers and insisting their answers to specific questions be unquestioned, so are we all.

 

We citizens are even more guilty when we demand of our politicians, our elected leaders, that they give us a simple and short answer to a very difficult and convoluted issue. We want answers and we want answers now and we want the answer to be as least painful to us individually as possible, no pain being the preferred choice. We know in our heads that that is impossible, but that is what we would like and what we want to hear.

There are no simple, easy answers to the many and varied questions, issues, that confront us as a nation, as a world, as a church, even as individual people. What is even more difficult to deal with is that there will always be more questions than answers and that when we have resolved this question, this issue, another will follow right on its heels and probably be even more difficult.

That said, the point of Thaves’ strip is still valid. No one has all the answers: not the President, not the Pope, not you or me. Further, just because we may be in a position of power does not give us the right to believe our answer should go unquestioned or that our response of “because I said so” is sufficient.  Ignoring the question only makes the matter worse because it won’t go away and make it even more difficult to resolve.

And no one answer is the answer. This world, this life, is too complicated for simple, easy, uncomplicated solutions to complex issues. We know that. We know that in our own lives. Personal issues are almost always very complex and cannot be resolved with simple answers. Why? Because more than one person is usually involved in the problem and its resolution. The more people involved, the more complicated and the more difficult the resolution.

And even when the only person involved is our self, when the issue at hand is very and strictly personal, even then the correct response, while simply given, is hardly ever easy to fulfill. The problem of being overweight is simple: eat less. The problem of over-spending is to spend less. The problem of being unkind all too often is to change our ways. The problem can be simply stated and the resolution simply given, but that does not mean it will be easy for us to actually resolve the problem.

The further issue is that we are often our own worst enemy. We do not like to admit that we are both part of the problem and we are also part of the solution, whatever the problem. While we can blame and castigate our politicians for acting like the politicians Frank and Ernest think them to be, all too often in our personal lives in many ways we are they.

A MOTLEY CREW

Because we are still gainfully employed and cannot travel as much as we would like, and because our children, and, thus, our grandchildren, are scattered, we do not get to see them as often as we would like. Of course, when it comes to grandchildren, one never sees them enough. That cannot always be said about one’s own children even as much as one truly loves them. Grandchildren are for spoiling…and getting even.

At any rate, Arlena and I have begun having them all over for Christmas a few weeks before Christmas so that they can spend the 25^th with their other families. We love it and so do they. This year we asked one of our daughters to bring her new male friend with her so that he could meet the family – and vice versa, of course. Given our family that can be a dangerous thing to do. He may not return.

We’ve been through this family introduction before. Arlena has always been upfront with the prospective suitors of our daughters. She tells them very simply, “We are a motley crew.” I tend to add, “What you see is what you get.” Frankly, I like what they see and what they will get; but, then, that’s only me.

We are indeed a motley crew. But, then, aren’t we all? Every family is a motley crew of individuals. That simply goes without saying even if, when we say it, we sometimes have to cringe when we think about the cast of characters that make up every family. No family is exempt. None. Can you imagine what it would be like to live in a monochrome environment? It is our individual quirkiness and uniqueness that makes life so interesting and, yes, sometimes a little difficult as well.

Not only is every family a motley crew, so is every parish. And even when we look around a gathered group of people and think we are much the same, and we are, but we are also not. Our family, both our biological family and those who have joined it as well as our parish family is like a tree: we may grow in many directions but our roots remain the same.

It is those roots that keep us together when everything around us seems to be falling apart. It is those roots that remind us that as diverse as we sometimes seem to be and even are, certainly as we often think and act, we are still one family. It is those roots that feed us when we need to be fed and keep our life alive when we feel like we are shriveling up and sometimes, honestly, giving up.

As we begin another calendar year, it might behoove us to reflect about the motley crews we are each a part of. Not only should we think about the individuals who make up these crews, we need to thank God for them even when, perhaps especially when, they drive us up the wall and to distraction. The truth is that, even as we sometimes are reluctant to admit it, we often return the compliment.

How our daughter’s friend responds to Arlena’s “motley crew” revelation remains to be seen. It’s in his hands. So, too, is it for us to those motely crews to which we belong.