DYSFUNCTIONAL

I saw a little sign in a craft store the other day that read: "Let's put the 'fun' back in dysfunctional." At first thought that sounded like a good idea. On second thought it reminded me that what makes being dysfunctional so "in" is that it is fun to be so. And make no mistake about it: being dysfunctional, coming from a dysfunctional family, is in.

           

The classic excuse these days for doing what we know is wrong is to blame it on the fact that we come from a dysfunctional family, live in a dysfunctional society, are prone to being dysfunctional because of our genes. For once we can blame our wrongs on something or someone else, we are off the hook. Then it is someone or something else's fault that we are the way we are.

           

And that is true. We are the way we are because of forces beyond our control: our genes, for instance, maybe even society. But being is not the same as doing. I may very well be the way I am, who I am, because of my parents. But they don't do what I do. I do. I am responsible for my actions: not my genes, my parents, my society.

           

Still, I am dysfunctional. We all are. Whenever we do that which we know we should not do, we are not functioning the way we know we should. We are dysfunctional. That is the psychological term. The theological term is sinful. My psychologist may tell me that the reason I lie or cheat or whatever, all of which I know is wrong, is that I am dysfunctional. My priest will tell me it is that I am a sinner.

           

Nevertheless, sinfulness and dysfunctionality have the very same reality in common: fun. We sin because it is fun, because we enjoy it, because there is pleasure involved. That's what drives us to do that which we know we should not in the first place: the pleasure, the fun. We don't have to put the fun back into dysfunctional. It was always there.

           

Now I know that there are those who will tell me that I am being too simplistic. Perhaps so. But I also think it is an oversimplification to blame wrong doing on forces beyond our control. We can't help it if we have genes that are prone to put on weight. We can help it when it comes to what we put into our mouths. We can't help it if we were born in a slum. We can help ourself get out of that environment; we can help make sure we overcome it and it does not overcome us.

           

It is so easy to spend a lot of time making excuses why we are the way we are. It's a waste of time. We are who we are and we will never be other that who we are. But we certainly can do something about why we do or do not do what we do or do not do.

           

The other reality that we will discover is that there is more fun, more enjoyment in doing what we should be doing than in doing what we should not be. There is more fun and pleasure in loving someone than in hating or hurting someone. Always. Every time. There is no need to put the fun back into being dysfunctional. What there is a need is for us to find the fun -- the good -- in living our lives as sinful but redeemed, as sinful but always-the-ability-of-getting-better Christians.