FATE, PROVIDENCE OR DUMB LUCK

Several weeks ago I had the privilege of officiating at my niece’s wedding. It was a grand and glorious affair if I must say so myself. During my short homily I was reflecting on the fact that almost the first words out of God’s mouth in Genesis is that it is not good for we human beings to be alone and that there is an innate drive in each one of us to find that special someone with whom we can share the rest of our lives – unless we choose otherwise, as do monastics and others.

How we find that person, I said, can be very interesting. Dominique and Quentin, the bride and groom, found each other on a blind date. Q’s parents met in a nightclub. Nique’s parents met at a bar. Nique’s Aunt met her husband walking the family dog. Her brother met his wife in college. Her cousin and her husband were high school sweethearts. Arlena and I met in church.

Was it fate that brought these couples together? Or was it the providence of God or simply dumb luck? I would have never met Arlena if she had not transferred from Good Shepherd in Parkersburg to Trinity in Parkersburg where I was called to be Rector. Would Nique and Q have met had they not gone out on that blind date? Would my sister and Dennis have ever met had there not been a big Saint Bernard that needed walking? What was it that brought all of us together?

Does it really matter expect for the fun it might be, in fact is, in speculating what our lives might now be like had we not been brought together by whatever it was that we believe brought us together? Personally, I have always attributed Arlena’s and my meeting to providence. My brother Fran might conclude that it was dumb luck. The night before Arlena arrived in church I was complaining to Fran that I was tired being alone. His reply: “Don’t worry. She’ll fall out of a tree!”

The point is that it really does not matter how two people meet. What matters is what happens after the meeting takes place. That is true not only when it comes to finding a relationship as in marriage. It is true any time in any place. We can always speculate about what brings people together. Sometimes it is mutual interest. Sometimes it is simply being in the same place at the same time. What is then important is where that relationship goes from there.

There are many, many times in life when the opportunity presents itself for us to meet another, others. Even if it is fate or providence or dumb luck that opens that door for us to walk through to meet and greet, we still have to walk through that door. Someone has to make the first move and sometimes it is mutual. I put the move on Arlena after church. She responded. She could have walked away. I’m thrilled she did not. Again, whatever it is that brings people together is, in the end, unimportant. What is important is what we do once we have come together.