WE’RE ALL WIMPS

Years ago when we were living in Spokane, Washington, for our vacation Arlena and I drove back to Pennsylvania and West Virginia-Ohio to visit our families. They were glad to see us even if they could tell us why they thought the way west was much longer than the way east which is why we had to make the trips. Not a complaint, especially now that we are back home; but, back then…. Part of the agenda was to pick up two pieces of furniture Arlena's late grandmother had left to her. They fit nicely in the back of our pickup.

The trip was long, three miles short of 6,000 miles. And it, was, as I noted, in a truck. Of course, the truck had air conditioning, cruise control, and all other kinds of bells and whistles. It was a great trip. We stayed at comfortable motels when we were not staying with family. Meals were hot, daily showers welcome, and the swimming pools were wonderful and welcome especially while we were on the road. To put it succinctly, we’re spoiled.

As we drove across the wide expanses of Montana and South Dakota on the way east and the similar expanses of Kansas and Wyoming and Idaho – among others – on the way back, it was impossible to miss how big this country is, how wide open, how one can drives miles and miles and not see a house or even a barn.

But we weren't worried. We had our new, handy-dandy cell phone with us in case the girls needed to get in touch. When the phone rang in the middle of nowhere (actually Wyoming), Autumn's voice came loud and clear, as if she were just around the corner (or at least at the top of that hill that we could see fifty miles off in the distance. Back then hearing the phone ring while driving down the road seemed like a miracle. In a way it still does. And no matter how dull the drive, we always looked forward to the pool at the end of the day.

As we visited Little Big Horn in Montana and Fort Hays in Kansas (from which Custer and his troops had their headquarters), it was impossible to not be impressed about the fact that not too very long ago our forefathers in this land rode and walked those vast distances. There were no cell phones to call in the cavalry when the Indians attacked. There were no motels to stop in for the night where beds were soft and showers hot. There were no McDonald's or Arby's where one could get a cold Diet Pepsi, no air-conditioned stage coaches to beat the heat.

I remain in awe of all those people. I am humbled when I think about the hardships they endured, especially when I remember my complaints because the bed in the motel was too lumpy or the buffet at the diner was too greasy or that one of the motels did not have a swimming pool.

The fact that I am not alone in these feelings is no comfort. We're all wimps in comparison. We are so blessed, you and I, so graced by God. Let us never forget that the next time we want to complain because the motel is only a two-star.

IS HITLER IN HELL?

If the above question were asked, most people would respond, “Of course!” Then they would ask, “Why do you ask? Isn’t it obvious?” My reply would be, “No, it is not. Besides, how do you know Hitler is in hell, or for that matter, Joseph Stalin, Idi Amin and all others of their ilk: mass murders one and all? We only assume they are burning in hell or whatever punishment we deem appropriate for such sinners. But we certainly do not know and will not know until we are like them: dead and buried.

The issue at hand is God’s infinite love and forgiveness. For those who believe Jesus died on the cross for our sins, he thus died for the sins of Hitler and Stalin and the rest, including you and me. Yes, we want to object that we certainly are not as great a sinner as these men. The truth is that we certainly are not. But we are just like them in that we are indeed sinners; and if our sins are forgiven, then so are theirs. Thus, if heaven is open to us because of Jesus’ death on the cross, so it is for them.

That just doesn’t sit well, does it? No, it does not and it should not, but not for the reason we think it does not. It doesn’t sit well because it is so difficult to believe that mass murderers, for instance, who knew full well what they were doing and did it any way without any seeming compunction, should be given a free pass to heaven in spite of their horrendous sins.

The real reason it doesn’t sit well is that we believe no one should be given a free pass and that includes you and me. We should have to earn our way into heaven. And if we have not done anything to do so; and, even more, if we have done much to negate any good that we do, we do not deserve heaven when we die. We should get what is coming to us, what we have earned and what we deserve, like Hitler: hell.

The problem is that we can’t earn our way into heaven. We can never claim we deserve it either. The greatest saints would be appalled if anyone told them that they were a lock for heaven because of their saintliness. They would have quickly reminded the one praising them that they were no saint but rather a great sinner. And they would be right. They were sinners, even if not great sinners. Heaven would be theirs, they would say, only because of the grace and love and forgiveness of God and not because they had lived such a saintly life and thus deserved that eternal reward.

Nevertheless, none of us likes the thought of Hitler, for instance, being in heaven. It just grates at everything we consider right and just and even fair. And as much as we believe Hitler and some other rotten so-and-so we personally despise think even hell is too god for such as they, we waste our time and our energy mulling the issue. It’s none of our business and is out of our hands.

What is our business and what is in our hands is our own life. While there is nothing we can do to merit heaven when we die, getting to heaven or avoiding hell when we die should not be the reason why we do what we do. We do what is good and right and loving because that is what we are called to do and because that is what we want to do.

WHEN YOU’RE 92

My mother-in-law is 92, an active, if slowing-down, 92. She drives her big Lincoln to and from the grocery store and drug store and hair appointments and occasionally to the mall across the river but only between ten in the morning and two in the afternoon – less traffic that way, which is mutually good, both for her and for the other drivers on the road. Arlena and I drive down to visit at least twice a month to make sure her medications are filled and the salt in her water softener is filled and some housework is done and to take her out to lunch, which she loves!

She just had cataract surgery on one eye and will have the other eye done soon. She can’t wait until she can see clearly again so that she can get back to cross-stitching and reading which she dearly loves. It will also give us peace of mind knowing that bad eyesight is a hindrance to good driving. She is independent and will remain so until she can no longer do so. Good for her.

The day before her first cataract surgery she had a doctor’s appointment for routine check-up. The Physician’s Aide who did the checking told her that her blood sugar was up. Her reply? “That’s not my fault. It’s my son-in-law’s [me]. He keeps bringing me these great cookies and I just have to eat them.” The P.A. just looked at her not knowing how to respond. Well, how do you respond?

After the doctor’s visit, mother and daughter went to the mall because “Belk’s is having a great sales” so said mother-in-law. It seems that the shopping gene stays strong until the heart stops beating. At least it does in these two, neither of which can resist a sale. When Arlena meekly protested that she would probably have to put some charges on Bill’s [me, again] card, mom just laughed as they headed to the mall.

“Not my fault my sugar level is high” “Not my fault they’re having a sale and I’ll probably buy something.” It’s my fault [me].  If I had not bought the cookies and if I had not, well, never mind. You get the point. You just have to laugh, which is exactly what I did when Arlena told me the story. We all like to pass the buck of responsibility when we can conveniently do so even as we know exactly what we are doing. And we all do no matter what our age: both pass the back and know that is exactly just what we are doing.

In this instance it was mostly harmless. My mother-in-law’s blood sugar was not way out of line. Besides, she’s 92. What’s a cookie or two now and then, even if it's more often than now and then? It’s not going to kill her. And what’s another pair of shoes that you “just have to have and they fit perfectly” when you’ll be giving quite a few to the Yard Sale?

We all make excuses. When you’re 92 and lived a full life and the indiscretions are small and often silly and laughable, who cares? When you are your mother’s daughter, you hope you live long enough to make the same excuses. Oh, you already are!

We are who we are. I wouldn’t change one thing about my mother-in-law or my wife. I’ll keep bringing her cookies and I’ll keep smiling as I lead my wife into the next shoe store or shoe department we pass by. My mother-in-law didn’t reach 92 because she took life so seriously that she couldn’t enjoy it even as her life has honestly been a difficult one. There’s a lesson there.

PAIN AND SUFFERING

No one escapes this life without his or her fair share of pain and suffering. Sometimes it honestly seems that the suffering we experience, the physical and emotional pain we have to endure, is patently unfair. Sometimes it seems that there are those who seem to receive an inordinate amount of pain while others seem to not get what we think they deserve. Even so, the bottom line, again, is that we all suffer, that we all are in some kind of pain during our lives here in this life.

But why do we have to suffer? Why does anyone have to be in pain? God could surely prevent pain and suffering being inflicted upon his beloved children, for that it what we are: God’s beloved; but God does not. God allows us to suffer because of our own sins and God allows pain to be inflicted upon us, justly or unjustly, because of the actions of others. Yet the question still remains: Why?

C. S. Lewis once observed that pain is God’s microphone to a deaf world. Yes, when we are in pain, we do try to get God’s attention. We may even yell and scream at God asking “Why me? What did I do to deserve this much pain, this agony? Yes, I am not perfect. And, yes, I am a sinner; but are my sins so great that I have to suffer in this way?” If I may be so bold, I think we have all uttered those very words once or twice in our lives. No one of us, again, is exempt from what we believe is unwarranted suffering. No one!

Yet, contrary to what Lewis opines, God already has our attention. We are already believers. We know God loves us and cares for us and protects us. Our problem when pain and suffering arise in our lives is trying to understand not why we are in pain but why we are in so much pain. Even when the pain is deserved because of our sinful and foolish actions, even when it happens to us because of the sins of others, we still ask God why it is so severe when it is, at least in our opinion, so undeserved. If there is a world out there that is deaf to God, we are not part of that world.

And, if I may be bold again, those who are indeed deaf to God, when they encounter unjust pain and suffering in their own lives or in the lives of others, especially in the lives of those who profess to be believers, that pain and suffering only emboldens them to further deny God’s existence with the claim that a loving God would never allow such pain to be inflicted on those who believe in him.

So, then, what is Lewis’ point? I think it is simply a reminder, to those of us who are not deaf to God’s word, that there are times in our lives when everything is going well, when we somehow forget about God and how important our relationship with God really is. Sometimes when we are in that mode, the only thing that gets our attention is pain and suffering. We will never understand why we have to endure seemingly unjust pain and suffering, not in this life anyway. But what we do know and do understand is that when any pain comes our way, somehow in some way God will help us get through it. Those who are deaf to God can’t hear God’s comforting words. It’s their loss. 

THE FREEDOM TO SING, DANCE, PRAISE AND LOVE

Concluding my reflection on this prayer of Saint Therese of Liseaux: "Today may there be peace within. May you trust that you are exactly where you are meant to be. May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith in yourself and others. May you use the gifts that you have received and pass on the love that has been given to you. May you be content and give thanks in all situations. Let this knowledge settle into your bones, and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, praise and love. It is there for each and every one of us."

Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we could always feel free to sing at the top of our lungs even if we couldn’t sing our way out of a paper bag, to dance up a storm even if we have two left feet, to praise God even if words fail and to love everyone even our worst enemy? Of course it would and of course we can even as we set so many obstacles in our way that we often believe we cannot.

Those obstacles that stand in our way are the mental roadblocks that we set up for ourselves against ourselves that prevent us from being free to sing and dance and praise and love. What are those obstacles, those self-made and self-imposed roadblocks? They are many and they are what St. Therese knows we need to tear down in order to be free to be who we are, who God created us to be. This is the list:

1)      Worries over that which is out of our control that prevent us from being a peace with ourselves.

2)      Failing to have faith in God that God will give us whatever we need to deal with whatever situation in which we find ourselves at the moment, especially those times when we would rather be anywhere than where we are at the moment.

3)      Failing to have faith in ourselves that we can do what needs to be done; and if we cannot do it alone, knowing there will be others to help us.

4)      Excusing ourselves from doing what we are called to do on the pretext that others are more gifted and better able to do what needs to be done.

5)      Believing that we are being punished and, thus, unloved when bad things happen to us, forgetting both that God love us unconditionally and that when bad things happen, there is always resurrection to be found.

6)      Allowing all of this to live in discontent and, thus, unable to be thankful for all that we have and all that we are.

If we could we remove all those obstacles, all those roadblocks, all those false assumptions and allow the truth of just how blessed we truly are to settle into our bones, then those very bones would jar us out of our doldrums, get us up in our feet and make us sing and dance and praise and love no matter how foolish we may think we look or feel. That freedom is there for the taking. So what are we waiting for? That, I suspect, is the real question.