IT'S NOT ABOUT US

It’s not about us. It really is not about us. We think it is. All too often we act as if it is; but it really isn’t, if we truly understand what our faith is all about. It’s really about everyone else. It’s not about us. Think about it as a mantra: “It’s not about us.” Repeat it and repeat it and repeat it until it finally begins to at least break the hard outer shell of our natural resistance. It’s not about us.

When it is about us, whenever we are about ourselves first, the other and/or others are a forgotten, neglected, overlooked or dismissed second. It is easy to do, of course, this thinking that what we are about, whatever it is we are about, is about us. Yes, whatever we do has to be about us, but only to a degree and not first and foremost. If it is totally not about us, we will not have anything to do with it.

For instance, when we engage in outreach ministries, those ministries are not about us. They are primarily about those to whom we minister. Yet we get something out of doing them else we would not do them. We are not that altruistic. No one of us is totally selfless. We can’t be. The self is part and parcel of the unselfish act of ministering to others. And so there is always a personal reward in doing for the other, ministering to the other, whatever that ministry entails.

The same is true, however, for whatever else we are about as a church: worship, education, fellowship, and so on that, on the surface, seem to be about us. We want our worship to be fulfilling and uplifting. We want our educational opportunities to challenge us and inform us so that we can better understand and thus live out our faith. We want our gathering experiences to enliven us and give us a sense of support and encouragement so to better live out our faith.

Yet whatever we do, it is not about us. It is about those who are not yet part of us, those who have not yet heard the Good News of Jesus Christ, those who really think that what we do is about us and not about them because that’s the message we seem to be giving and they seem to be hearing. And who can blame them? Perception is reality whether we like it or not.

The reality, the truth, is that to be engaged in Christian ministry the other comes first. The other must come first. What may be good for us may not be good for the other. That does not mean we do what we believe is wrong. What it means is that oftentimes we have to give in to our desire to please ourselves first and foremost and give it over to opening our hearts – and community – to others, especially to those outside.

None of this is anything new. It is simply a reminder of something we often forget, especially when in the process of dreaming about how we can become a better person, a better Christian, a better Christian community of faith. Whenever we put the other first, whoever that other is, whether inside or outside our faith community, we may not get the answer that is most pleasing. We will get the answer that is both most loving and the right one as well.