LIVING WITH REGRETS

Sometimes I think sins of omission are worse than sins of commission. Sins of commission are deliberate: we know what we are saying or doing is wrong, is sinful, but we go ahead and sins anyway. We cannot undo the deed or take back the words. We can try to atone for our sin, and should, but there it is and then we have to live for the rest of our lives with whatever harm we did. That can be and sometimes is very painful, but we brought that pain upon ourselves.

Sins of commission have a double whammy: we have deliberately hurt another and, once we realize the pain we have caused, feel the personal pain that is now ours because of what we have done. Sins of omission, on the other hand, may not be as painful because we did not deliberately harm someone else but we have, in truth, hurt ourselves. We have to live with the regret that we could have done something, should have done something, or could have done more but did not. 

For example: several years ago Arlena and I were on our way home from somewhere in the South and had to stop for the night at a motel. We were surprised at how inexpensive it was. We checked in, put our suitcases in our room and headed across the parking lot to a restaurant for dinner. On the way over a gentleman stopped us and asked if we could help. He and his wife were on their way home from his treatment at a VA hospital. He still had a shunt line in his arm for further treatments. They were both exhausted and really needed a night’s sleep but did not have the funds to do that, so could we help with gas money. We gave them $20 and headed to the restaurant and they headed to their car. 

It was only after we settled in that we both realized that we could have paid for their night’s stay. We were abundantly[w1]  blessed. After all we could afford the trip. So why did it not cross either of our minds to offer to pay for their stay at the motel? I do not know the answer. What I do know is that I am haunted by that thought still today. No. It was not a sin of omission nor any sin at all. What it was and still is is a reminder that I need to be more attentive to the needs of others than I sometimes am. 

There are times in hindsight when things left undone, or not done better than they could have been, can be just as painful as things we have said and done that we knew were wrong from the outset. We have to live with regrets on both counts and that is good. It means that we are honest with ourselves. It does not mean, unfortunately, that we will never sin again and that we will always be attentive to what is going on around us or to the needs of others when confronted with those needs. 

Thankfully I am not obsessed with that incident years ago but, thankfully, I am reminded of it on now and then. As with my sins of commission I cannot go back and do a re-do. I can only live with my regrets for things done and undone and try to be more aware every day of the importance to others and to myself of what I say and do. 

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