WHAT WE REMEMBER

We preachers want to believe that we wax eloquent every, or almost every, Sunday. We want to believe that not only are our sermons great but they also move those who heard them to amend their lives if necessary. We also want to believe that they will remember what we have said for a long time to come. The truth is that we hope they remember what we have said by Wednesday. And, in all honesty, that’s probably as good as it gets for most of our sermons most of the time.

Not only do we clergy want to believe that our words will be remembered for longer than a day or three, but, more importantly, they will remember what we did when we were among them as their pastor. The problem with that is that most of us don’t do a lot that is really memorable, something that might deserve a plaque on the wall. One of the churches I served has quite a few honoring past Senior Wardens. The only recognition the Rectors received was a picture in the rogues gallery and name and dates served on a plaque at the entrance of the church which moist parishioners never use. So much for remembering what we did. When we move on, the memory of who we were fades. And that is as it should be. We came as servants and only hope we have served well.

Not too long ago the parish with all the plaques celebrated its 175^th anniversary. My wife and I were invited back for anniversary banquet. Because it had been almost 30 years since I served, only a handful of those at the banquet remembered me. About a month later, one of the parishioners who was putting together a history of the parish asked me to write a few paragraphs about what had been done in and around the parish while I was Rector. I struggled to remember. The people of the parish and I had done some good things, but that was what were supposed to do and not to do them just to be remembered in a history book or by a plaque on the wall.

What the people whom we serve will remember, and what other people will remember about us, no matter who we are, clergy or laity, is not what we said or what we did while we lived among them. No what they remember is how we made them feel when we were together. Did we make them feel good about themselves or did we not? Did they feel comfortable in our presence or ill at ease? Did they look forward to being with us or did they try to avoid us if they could? As clergy we wonder if they were sad to see us go or happy that we moved on, happy for themselves, that is? No one can please everyone. I know. There have been a few parishioners who think I hung the moon and others who think I came from the dark side of it. Such is true for each and every one of us.

Our goal in life is to help build community wherever we are. We do that by what we say and how we say it, or just the opposite. Our words and actions can be constructive or destructive. Again, what is most important in the here-and-now and what will be remembered long after we are gone is how we made others feel when we were among them. We certainly hope it was positive.