RELATIONSHIP, FRIENDSHIP AND COMMUNITY

Herbert O’Driscoll in his reflection on Jesus’ temptation in the desert (“The Time of Demons” in A Greening of Imaginations) observes that “the opposite of ego, power, and domination are relationship, friendship, and community.” Jesus was sorely and deeply tempted to use his gifts to make himself the center of his soon-to-be-begun ministry. He could use his powers to attract followers simply because they were mesmerized by what he could do. He could be the center of his universe by dominating everyone through their fear concerning what he could do, so powerful that he was.

That would be nothing new. Ego, power and domination characterized Caesar, Pilate, Herod – the cast of characters during Jesus’ time on earth. The same can be said of despots throughout history, for that is what one is when one leads through fear: a despot. We probably think that no such thoughts ever crossed Jesus’ mind. I think we would be wrong. Jesus was human and those thoughts cross our minds as well even though we have no real political power.

But we do have power. We have the power to make ourselves the center of everything allowing our ego to control what we say and do. We can make everything all about us rather than trying to build relationships with those around us. Such cannot be built when we have to be the center of attention. They will simply walk away, as we probably have when encountering those who demand to be the center of our attention.

It is difficult to be friends with those who have power over us and vice versa. My wife was in management for many years. She had no real friends with those whom she managed. It was simply a different type of relationship. But she was always a great manager because it was never about her. It was always about making sure she and those she managed did the very best they could to make the company they worked for a success. She was also friendly, such is her nature, but saved friendship with those not affiliated with her work.

And community? It is built when we all work together and not when someone has to be in charge, who has to call all the shots, be big man on campus, dominate all the conversations. We know the type and perhaps sometimes we are the type, allowing our ego to get the best of us, the desire for power trying to grab hold. It is not a pretty picture and we know it. It wasn’t a pretty picture for Jesus and he knew it and he rejected it.

My guess is that those temptations never left him. It was not a one-and-done, forty days and it’s over sort of thing. It was a constant battle throughout his ministry as it is a constant battle for us throughout our lives. Our ego wants to be the center of attention, power is so seductive and being in charge is a rush that can be intoxicating. None of this is pretty. But it is real. O’Driscoll made me pause and reflect. To be honest, it was not a comfortable one at times.