GENEROSITY

Someone, and I apologize for not remembering who, once observed that if we are generous, our whole life will show it; and if we are selfish, it will infect our very soul. Isn’t that the truth? We certainly know that to be when we stand off to the side and observe the way people whom we consider to be very selfish and self-serving act. Everything is about them and only them.

They do things for others and can be very generous, but they do so only because what they are doing is advantageous to them. Then they brag about how generous they are and expect to be praised to the highest heavens. When they are not, they take offense and cannot understand why they are criticized.

It is certainly quite easy to point out those selfish and self-serving people. When we do, we often take delight in castigating and condemning them and their behavior and their attitude. Maybe it even makes us feel better in some, probably perverse, manner. We all do it; or maybe I should say, I know I do it and probably should not assume that everyone else does it too.

In our smugness what we often fail to do is look into that mirror that makes us take a good look at ourselves and our actions. Why do we do what we do? Is it out of generosity, out of our concern for those who are less blessed, out of a desire to lift up those who are down? Or is it done to make us feel good about ourselves and, perhaps, to reap praise and recognition from others?

My guess is that our egos never get out of the way. There is always a little of the what’s-in-it-for me in our actions. There has to be, of course. Everything we do begins with the self and we can never take the self out of anything we do. No one can be generous for me just as no one can be selfish for me. The ego, the I, is always front and foremost whether we realize or recognize it or not.

The point is simply that we need to be honest with ourselves, brutally honest. That is often difficult to do. It is not wrong or selfish to feel good about helping another, about sharing our gifts and talents. That is why they were given to us in the first place, why we were blessed by God. And while we enjoy that feeling, we must also be thankful for the blessings given that we have shared.

Selfishness is insidious. It can grab us by the neck and choke us to death before we even realize it. Selfishness often masks itself as, well, generosity, and tries to convince us that we are so wonderful and giving and even loving when actually what we are doing is simply being, well, selfish. Generosity is also insidious all in the right way. Better to be chocked by it; but that can only happen if we deliberately keep selfishness in check and always try to look as to how we can share our blessings in thankfulness for them.