Monday, December 24, 2018

TOO MUCH TO DENY, TOO LITTLE TO BE SURE


I think it was the philosopher Blaise Pascal who observed about God that there is too much that we can know about God to deny God's existence, but too little that we know about God to be sure enough to believe. If this is true, and I believe it is, then there is a reason why we all have doubts every now and then.

We can and we do look around and see what we believe are positive proofs, proofs, of God's existence. Someone greater than any one of us individually and all of us collectively had to be responsible for the created universe, we conclude. It just did not come about after one colossal big bang, no matter how big the bang, nor could it. The universe is too orderly for everything to be so ordered and still be so coincidental. It seems so obvious.
           
But we cannot be sure because we cannot understand. Oh, we can understand that God did it, that God holds it all together. But it is the "how" of God that leaves room for doubt. For doubt arises in minds that cannot understand but yet demand understanding. The more we want to know about God, the greater the chance that we will doubt God's existence. The opposite is just as true.
           
Does that mean it would be best for us to stop asking questions, faith questions? Probably. The only problem is we can't. Our hearts may want to rest in God, as St. Augustine prayed, but our minds never rest. The unquestioning heart says that God loves me. But when bad things happen to me or to my loved ones, my mind asks how could a loving God do this?
           
We do not act this way only with God, however. We do so with one another. Our hearts say that a person loves us. Our minds may wonder if that person really does after what that person just said or did to us. There is too much about our relationship with others that prove our mutual love, but sometimes not enough to hint that the love might not be total or reciprocal.
           
Doubt will never go away given our inability to know or understand everything and everyone. We do not even understand ourselves, not really. We ask ourselves why we did this or where that thought came from or how we could say something like that. The truth is, if we knew the answer to even those questions, we would be God. That fact that we do not proves we are not. But nothing proves God's existence. So we believe, so we are left only with belief.
           
The difference between a believer and one who refuses to believe is simply that. A believer chooses to live a life of faith even those whose minds are full of doubt. Those who do not believe in God refuse to do so because they seemingly cannot live with doubt God’s existence.
           
Who has the easier road to travel? Does it really matter? Or does what really matter is that we who believe live fully into our belief?

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