FINDING A CAVE

This past Lent I went on a quiet day with some fellow clergy. We were asked to actually remain quiet, at least till lunch, something that is very difficult to do when clergy gather. For more often than not in such situations we are tempted, if not eager, to give our personal critique of the bishop and/or the state of the diocese and/or the wider Church. All the while, of course, we humbly admit that our own ministry is going very well, thank you. This time, however, there was no inclination to critique the Bishop even if we were wont to do so as he was present. Most of all and the truth is that it would do each one of us a whale of good just to keep silent for a few hours.

That is hard to do. Most people, and clergy are no exception, find it difficult to deal with silence. There are several places in the liturgy where we are encouraged to keep silent. After each reading, for instance, in silence we would be able to personally reflect on the words we just heard. The problem is that we would need two to three minutes to even get ready to reflect. That is compounded by the honest truth that even thirty seconds of silence during worship seems like an eternity. We are simply very, very uncomfortable with silence.

That is a problem. For it is only when we take the time to be silent that we can even begin to take stock with our lives, with who we are, with why we do what we do, with where we go from here, with – well, with any of a  myriad of  personal questions we conveniently avoid asking. Such avoidance stems from two truths. First, we really don’t want to get that personal because we are afraid of what truths about ourselves we will have to admit to. Then once admitted, we have to deal with how we will respond. Second, no self-examination can take place amidst all the noise that never seems to go away or even abate.

The only way to find the silence that is demanded for such reflection is to find a cave somewhere. Granted, that may be somewhat unrealistic, but the point is still valid, certainly is the proper metaphor. Think about it: a cave. Walk into that cave deep enough so that only a dim view of the light outside is seen. That’s deep enough to shut out all the noise we’ve left behind. It is deep enough so that all we can hear is the sound of our own breathing. Scary, isn’t it? Ever been there? If so, it was probably not because we deliberately intended to find that cave and enter into its silence. And even if we have deliberately found that cave, if you are like me, facing the truth is always scary.

And yet that is where we all need to go on a regular basis if we want to get serious about our lives. Then, too, the obvious response is that we really don’t want to go there. We do not want to face the silence because we do not want to hear in that silence what God is saying to us. For, you see, God can only get through to us in the silence of our hearts and minds. God, however, never forces us into that cave where we will be still and hear God speaking to us. We have to go there on our free will. Will we?