THE THREE MOST POWERFUL WORDS

When we think of power, we tend to think in terms of the ability to control something or someone. We are a powerful nation because we have more weapons than the rest of the world combined. A person has power over me if he has a loaded gun pointed at my head. The boss has power over subordinates, the teacher over students, the law over disorder.

Power is exerted in a multitude of ways and sometimes it is simply the threat of using one’s power that power is exerted. We slow down at the sight of a police car even if we are not exceeding the speed limit. Power or the threat of using power is good in that it tends to keep order when chaos could easily result or keeps us focused on the task at hand when we would rather be doing something else rather than what we should be doing at the present time.

While all that is true, even the physically weakest person (or nation, perhaps) in the world can be very, very powerful because of the ability to utter three little words: I forgive you. Think about it: how easy is it for any one of us to forgive someone who has deliberately hurt us? Forgive, really forgive; not just utter the words but to actually mean what we say? Anyone who says that he or she has no problem in forgiving is simply not telling the truth. Not at all.

It is easier to love than it is to forgive. In fact, the need to forgive someone we love makes forgiveness all the more difficult because to love someone means that we will never do anything that would require both our asking for forgiveness and for the one we have hurt to forgive us. But it happens. Loving relationships often dissolve because the lover deliberately hurts the beloved and forgiveness is either not asked or not given, or worse, both.

Why? Because forgiveness is not easy, not at all. It is intrinsically meant to be difficult because of how precious and important loving relationships are. The lack of love for the other makes it easier for us to hurt the other. But the demands of a true and loving relationship remind us that we never want to put ourselves in a position where we have to ask the one we love to forgive us. Never. And if we do something to damage that love and are discovered because we have nor owned up to our failure, it makes the giving of forgiveness all the more difficult.

We know all that because we have all been there. All of us have hurt the ones we love and know how difficult it was to ask for forgiveness. We also have been the one who has been hurt and know how even more difficult it is to forgive, especially forgive the ones we love the most and who love us the most. It takes a very powerful person to say “I forgive you” and mean it. It is not through will power that we utter those words but only through the power of the grace of God that is always offered. However, it is up to us to accept that grace and, as difficult as it still will be, to say, “I forgive you.”