THE CRITIC IN US

There is a critic that lurks deep inside each and every one of us. It is part of or being and there is nothing we can do to eliminate it, nor should we. We make judgments about everything whether we realize it or not, whether we verbalize them or not. These judgments come automatically. They simply well up from somewhere within us without our having to summon them.

We watch a movie and we critique it. We eat a meal, whether we dine in or dine out, whether prepared by ourselves, by a loved one or by some anonymous chef, and we have an opinion about the food not only after we have completed the meal but even while we are eating it. A young woman walks by and we critique her outfit, her demeanor, how she is wearing her hair, and soon. It is instinctive and it is human nature to do so.

In the vast majority of those critical moments we do not dwell on our thoughts and opinions. They are quick and they are passing. Most of them are not even memorable as quick as they are and so little effect do they have on our lives on that moment in time. Here they are one second and gone the next. In fact, very few events, meals, movies, even passersby have more than a momentary effect on our lives. That is very good. We would not be able to move on in life if everything and every person transformed our being.

Some do, of course, but most do not. What we need to be aware of, however, is when we begin to dwell on the negative, when we fail to allow ourselves to see the positive that is there. For there is a positive even when it is truly difficult to discover. When we allow ourselves to block out the positive by dwelling so much on the negative, the one who gets hurt the most is ourselves. The negative pulls us down, always. It is only the positive that s uplifting. Thus, if we want to find happiness, we have to find the positive even when it is extremely hard to do so.

While critique is part of a natural response to what we see and hear, the problem is that our spontaneous critiques can easily devolve into criticism, which, by definition, is negative. Yes, “to criticize” means “to evaluate”; but the second definition means “to find fault with”. Thus, the question arises as to why this is so. Why, when we critique someone or something, do we not automatically look for the good, the positive, rather than, it seems, automatically look for the negative. Why, when critiquing a movie, a meal, a person, do we not look for reasons why it or s/he is nor four-star than reasons why not?

Jesus always tried to find the good, the positive, in everyone, especially those whom society critiqued to be losers: the poor, the sick, the outcasts. Jesus knew, and we know, that there is good in there, even if it is hard to find, even when it seems it is impossible to find. In our own personal lives, when we are down on ourselves for whatever reasons we are, the only way to rise up is to recognize the good that is in us, good that seems to be covered up by what we perceive as so much bad. That is not to say that we overlook the bad. It is to say that the only way to overcome the bad is by being aware of the good that is present. That is not easy to do, but do it we must.