Faith by its very nature includes doubt. Faith is not knowledge. Faith is a belief that something is true even though one cannot prove its veracity. We believe God exists, that God loves and forgives us, that we will be with God forever in our death but we also have some doubts, whether we admit to them or not. We have those doubts because we cannot prove any of that which we believe.
That does not mean that which we believe is simply unbelievable. It merely means that we cannot prove it to be by some scientific means. That is why there always seems to be this battle between faith and science. A scientist seems to need prove beyond a shadow of a doubt whereas a believer only demands enough evidence to accept the truth of what just might be true if one could only prove it scientifically.
Thus, for any believer there comes a moment in his or her seeking for the scientific truth that s/he must take what Kierkegaard called a “leap of faith”. Christianity, for instance, makes complete sense, even scientifically, until one comes up against the Trinity. Then one has to take that leap and say, “I believe even though I don’t completely understand. It makes enough sense, not complete sense, even if I cannot prove it empirically.”
People of faith take those leaps on a daily basis. We believe people will be trustworthy and true. We believe it is best to love our neighbors and even to love our enemies, not because as G. K. Chesterton once bemused “they are one and the same”, but because we have learned that loving is better than hating, that loving brings with it rewards and benefits that hating cannot and will not.
Yet people of faith are also tempted every day to take a leap of unfaith. That happens when our prayers to the God we believe in don’t seem to be answered, when something horrible happens to someone we love for no good or apparent reason, when our neighbor responds to our love not with indifference but with downright cruelty. In those times why believe? Why be a Christian? Why not leap back and away?
It would be wonderful and so much easier to live this life were there be no necessity to believe, where we could know all, where we would not have to trust in another, even in our God, but simply to know for sure and for certain. Or maybe not. As painful as it is sometimes to live this life as a believer, it is certainly not as dull and boring as it would be if everything were known for certain.
That truth may not help when we are in the midst of doubt and even despair because our faith has been tried and seems to have lost the battle. The grace is that our faith is strong enough that we keep on going rather than turn around and leap away from the God we believe in even though we cannot prove God’s existence.
In fact, it is when we seem to be most at a loss, most distant and most doubtful that we take that leap of faith. It is in those moments when we are tempted to turn around and turn away that God gives us a push and we leap further into God’s loving arms.
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