GRANDPARENTS REVENGE

My wife and I love being grandparents and, in all honesty, more that we loved being parents. The only downside for us is that the grandchildren live so far away that we hardly ever get to see them. And even though we are retired, the distances are still a little overwhelming especially when we want to see them and be with them as much as possible. Besides, if we wanted to move to be near them, they do not live near one another. So we are reduced to phone calls, texts, emails and face time. 

But when we do get to see them, especially when we have them to ourselves, it’s payback time. It’s grandparent’s revenge time. The idea is that you spoil them enough that it takes two weeks, once they get back home, to undo what we did. Carter still reminds his parents that he didn’t have to eat vegetables when he spent a week with us last summer and that he really doesn’t need to wear a pajama top to bed because Pap doesn’t. We just smile and smile.

One of the responsibilities of being a grandparent is to be the giver of unconditional love. It comes with the job description. And while we always truly loved our children unconditionally as they were growing up, it was often hard to love them in that manner. When they acted their age, especially as teenagers, we still loved them but certainly didn’t like the way they behaved even though we knew that a lot of that acting out was because of their hormones acting out. We knew because we were their age once and realized what our parents had to endure. Of course we were never that bad. Of course!

What enables grandparents to be so loving is that we have time on our hands to do just that: love them, love them, love them. Parents have to work in that love between work, whatever that work is, and there are all sorts of it in raising a family. It sometimes seems overwhelming being a parent and, in truth, sometimes it is. It’s no wonder trying to love your children seems to have conditions attached to that love. Unconditional love? Who are you kidding?!

That’s where grandparents come in. Yes, when the grandchildren are with us and away from their parents, we spoil them. But that is the price their parents are willing to pay for a break in their responsibilities as parents. By the time Carter, for instance, comes to visit, his parents are ready for a break. And he’s not even in first grade yet! Our spoiling, of course, is nothing huge: no vegetables, no night shirt, a few more snacks and a little later in going to bed get redone when he gets home. It may take a week or two for the remake to take, but it does.

What is left are fond memories for grandparents and grandchild that can never be taken away and always relived. Grandparent’s revenge? Tongue-in-cheek really. Rather, grandparent’s reward and joy and pleasure to love someone unconditionally and not care about the consequences because they will only be good ones.