ENVY

In his own wonderful way with words and in his own singular way of looking at reality, Frederick Buechner defines envy as "...the consuming desire to have everybody else as unsuccessful as you are." (Wishful Thinking). That certainly gets it to its lowest common denominator. The dictionary defines it as "a sense of discontentment or jealousy about or desire for another's advantages, possessions, etc." (Random House). Maybe that is looking at it from the highest common denominator.

Envy is either wanting to bring everyone, or at least someone else, down to our level, whatever that level is at the moment, or to raise ourselves up to someone else's level. Either way of looking at it, it is true. If we are all on the same level, the same playing field, as it were, then there would be no reason to be envious of what someone else has or who someone else is. It would also make for a dull and boring life. Still, we would then be able to do away with one of the seven deadly sins.

But that's impossible. Because we are all different, because we all have different talents, gifts, abilities, there will always be the opportunity for us to compare what we don't have to what someone else has, and vice-versa. That is why someone else has described envy as "the great barrier to thanksgiving." Envy forces us to look first at how others are blessed rather than to look first at how we are blessed. And because envy is almost so strong it becomes so difficult for us to turn away from the other and turn towards ourselves. It isn’t listed as one of the seven deadly sins for no reason!

Envy is all that we think it is and probably a whole lot more. It is even worse, or so it seems, because envy will not go away. Psychiatrist Robert Coles says that we cannot will it away nor can we employ some psychological trick to make it seem like it has gone away. He says: "...if envy brings the pain of knowing what we lack, envy can also lead us to reflection. Envious, we find ourselves asking the most important psychological questions: who we really are, and what we really want out of life. Envy can be part of our redemption."

Thus, while envy can be a great barrier to thanksgiving because we can be so wrapped up in what we don’t have and another has, it is also and can be and should be the first step on the way towards thanksgiving, which is a prior step on the road to redemption. So often we all tend to take the blessings we have been given for granted. When we do that, we also tend to be less than reflectively thankful for them. It often seems that it is only when we begin to compare blessings and discover, so we believe, that another is even more blessed, and that envy rears its head.

The onset of envy should be, or at least can be, the signal light that makes us stop dead in our tracks and say, reflect, “Yes, he is really blessed. But so am I. He may have this that I do not possess, but I have this blessing that he does not seem to possess.” And then we can, should, continue, “Thank you, Lord.” Then we are on the road to redemption, as Coles states. Even sin, as deadly as it can be if we do not allow it to consume us, can be redemptive, thanks be to God.