THREE LIVES INTERTWINED

A little over fifty years ago a young man was ordained a priest and assigned to an Italian parish in a steel mill town. He arrived, full of himself. He was going to set the parishioners straight on the meaning of Vatican II. He was going to – well, who remembers now from all those years ago? He does fully remember being immediately assigned to lead the marriage preparation classes for over 50 couples.

In hindsight: what a joke. What did he know about marriage after having been quasi-locked up in a seminary for the last twelve years of his life? At least he was smart enough to bring in experts on finance and daily married life. But he also spoke to them about the meaning of married love, as if he were an expert on the subject having gone on two dates before entering seminary!

Then there were the couples who had to be there if they wanted to be married in the church. He was naïve in his belief that he could teach them what marriage was all about, and they were naïve in believing that they really knew what marriage was all about. Besides, they were crazy in love with each other! He only remembers one of those couples from fifty years ago because they have kept in communication over the years. He witnessed and blessed their marriage and baptized their two oldest but then moved away.

Well, the fifty years have flown by and they don’t know how it happened, and so fast. For the three of them there have been ups and downs in their personal lives. He “migrated” – the word they use – to serve as a priest in another part of the catholic church and married. Boy, was that a disaster, mostly because he had no clue what marriage was about – and yet he was teaching couples what it was about?! Later on he found someone to share his life with who taught him what love and marriage are truly all about.

And what is that? It is what that young man and young woman learned over their fifty years of married: It ain’t easy, Babe. It takes work. It takes hard work. It takes forgiveness and asking for forgiveness. It takes hanging in there when you want to run away and give it all up but deep in your heart know that the other truly loves you when you’ve made it so hard for the other to do so, and you truly love the other.

And then God blesses you to allow the three of you to come together to share the celebration of fifty years of their married love and your mutual friendship, fifty years of being together through all the ups and downs that life inevitably brings to everyone, no exception. Your wife of thirty-three years, who taught you everything you know about married life and love, was there with the three of you to celebrate.

It was small, intimate family affair with their children and grandchildren and a few close friends who had been there as they raised their children together. Ad multos annos, as we used to say, Ron and Jan and personally, Bill and Arlena.