THE OPPOSITE OF LOVE

I don't know who first made the observation that the opposite of love is not hate but, rather, indifference; but, I think, that was a correct and honest observation. The observation was also probably very personal.

           

Love is active. So is hate. Telling another that we love that person is all well and good. But if that love is not active, if we don't demonstrate that love by our actions, if we don't do love-filled things, then our profession of love is not real and does not really matter. They are merely empty words that sound good and may even may make us feel good. But the truth is that we only love by loving.

           

And so it is true with hate. We hate by hating. We're active about it. We do hateful things, say hateful words, think hate-filled thoughts about the one we hate. Not a pleasant thought, of course, but true.

           

We can all recite countless stories of loving actions and countless stories of hateful actions. All we need do is pick up the daily newspaper and find accounts of many of both. A report on feeding the hungry is counter-balanced by a report of the murder of another innocent person. An article on doctors treating patients at a free clinic is counter-balanced by the refusal of medical services because a couple has no insurance. The list goes on.

           

However, in many ways those are easy stories to tell and to contrast. It is easy to balance love with hate, or least know they are always in direct conflict. And it is even possible to convert an active hater into an active lover, although that is not so easy, as the situation in so many countries around the world and, sadly, even in our own country, remind us on a daily basis.

           

What is difficult to do is to convert one who is simply indifferent to the pain and suffering of others, or simply indifferent period. While love and hate are active, indifference is passive. People who are indifferent assert: "We don't care and we don't care that we don't care. We don't care about the other's life, family, joys, sorrows, problems. We have enough of our own.

           

Sounds rather crass, but it's also true. I suspect it is also true to say that there is a modicum of indifference in all of us. And it is indifference. It is not numbness, having heard the stories so much that we are anesthetized to them. It's simply that we just don't care, care enough to actually do something.

           

Indifference makes the other a nobody. When we love another or hate another, that other is at least a somebody. But no one is a nobody: not to God and certainly should not be to us. That does not mean that we can always actively do something for, or actively love, everybody. We cannot. What we can do when we know we can't actively love is at least actively pray. That may seem like the least we can do, but as we all know, it may do more than we'll ever know.