SEEING THE WORLD THROUGH YOUR EYES

There is an old Indian saying that in order to understand another person we have to walk in that person’s moccasins. We have to walk the walk before we talk the talk: talk as if we understand that person. We know that to be true and we know that to be impossible. We can only walk in our own moccasins/shoes. We also know that a lot of living has gone into those moccasins, living that determines so much about who that person is at the moment we might want to walk in those shoes.

Walking in another’s shoes would only be the beginning of our trying to understand that person. We would need to go deeper. We would need to see the world through that person’s eyes. Again, like those shoes, those eyes have seen so very, very much, so much that what those eyes now see is colored by all that they have seen in the past. That is why a person born blind almost always has a better picture of the world he or she has never seen than of the world we have seen.

That is why when we begin to wonder why other people act the way they do, the reason is found in the miles they have walked and the sights they have seen and experienced. Their life, like everyone’s lives, has been colored by everything they have seen and experienced up to this very day.

And so has ours. Sometimes we forget that about others and sometimes we forget that about ourselves. We have become who we are because of our past. It would be good if we could actually walk in another’s shoes and see though that person’s eyes and thus understand that person. But would it not be even better if we would pause for a while and remember all those places our shoes have taken us, all those sights our eyes have seen?

It would be impossible to make a total recall, of course. But the really memorable moments would stand out and they would give us a clue to why we have become the person we have become. The past good and the past bad are all part of our making and becoming and they are important. They won’t change who we are, but they will help us understand both the good and the bad about us – for all have both and bad about us.

So what does all this mean? To me it means that even as much as I might want to walk in another’s shoes and see through that person’s eyes in order to try to understand that person’s actions, it means that it is even more important that I understand what in the past has brought me to today. It will help me understand the good that I do and, hopefully, to change a behavior that is rooted in the past but can and must be changed for the better.

Not being able to walk in another’s shoes or see through that person’s eyes does not allow us give that person a pass on present wrong behavior no does it give others a pass on our wrong behavior because they can’t walk in our shoes or see with our eyes. Understanding bad behavior is only a start. The hard part is the changing it for the good.