FINDING THE RIGHT PARTNER

The first human being according to the creation parable in the first book of the Bible was not happy. S/he (does it matter the gender?) discovered that one can have all the possessions in the world, can live in Paradise, can win the lottery of life, whatever that means and whatever it would entail, and still not be happy. Something was missing from all this abundance, all this pleasure, all this. What was missing, was not something but someone.

It did not take long, again according to the story, for this first human being to realize that unless s/he had someone to share Paradise with, it all amounted to a hill of beans, if even that. Material possessions cannot compensate for loneliness, for being alone. It never has and it never will given who we are as human beings. Sometimes we are seduced into thinking that it will, perhaps even trying by accumulating more and more, but we soon discover it won’t.

Material possessions, even great wealth, only give monetary pleasure. The joy of the new thing, the latest gadget, the biggest and best whatever lasts only for a short time. Then we have to move on to something else to substitute for what we are really wanting and needing and that is another person to share, not our possession, but our life. Sadly, all too often it seems that we only appreciate the other when the other is absent from us and not until then.

What we also discover is that we can be as poor as the proverbial church mouse and still be happy, satisfied, fulfilled simply because we have someone to share our life with, someone who loves us and cares for us just as we are and who we are and not because of what we do or do not possess materially. Young couples who struggle together when finances are tight find that their love for each other grows deeper every day in that mutual struggle.

Perhaps that is what the biblical writer was getting at when he tells us that these two people were naked. They were saying to each other, “This is who I am. Love me as I am. Share my life just as I am. Anything I add – clothing, possessions, wisdom, talents – won’t change who I am. I am not ashamed for who I am or for what you see, for what you see is me. Be my life partner.”

One does not have to be married to find a life partner. One’s life partner does not have to be of the opposite sex and physical sex is only one small and insignificant and not necessarily a necessary part of the relationship. What is important is the mutual sharing of life and love. All else is add-on and for the betterment of the relationship. But it is and always will remain an add-on, good but not necessary.

Finding the right partner, the best friend, the blood-brother/sister, makes us want to say, even shout, to God, “Lord, thank you, thank you, for giving us one another to share this life with, its joys and sorrows, its ups and downs, yesterday, today and all the tomorrows to come. Amen.”