FORGIVING INJURIES

Who does not get angry when another deliberately hurts us? It is an instinctual response to do so. No one ever sloughs off deliberate hurt. In fact, our first reaction is the need to get even, to redress the wrong that has happened. And we want the punishment to fit the crime, as it were. An eye for an eye. That works. Unfortunately, even when the punishment desired is actually meted out, it does not undo that harm that was caused that warranted the punishment.

In civil society we execute murderers. In doing so society may believe that that type of punishment makes amends for the type of crime committed. Even if it did, even if there is some sort of satisfaction in the execution, it does not bring back the life of the one who was murdered. Once an injury has taken place, accidental or deliberate, it can never be undone. It is the next step that is important.

And it is a vital next step. If we do nothing about that broken bone that happened when we tripped and fell or when a drunk driver slammed into our car, then we will suffer from the results of an untreated bone the rest of our lives. We don’t do that, of course. We go to the hospital and get the bone reset, allow it to heal, deal with the limitations the healing process imposes, and then move on in life once the healing is completed.

That is what we have to do in order to be physically healed from an injury however that injury occurred. We have to do the same with the results of the spiritual results of that injury and there are always spiritual after-effects. When we do something that causes harm to ourselves, we have to deal not only with getting better physically but also deal with why we did what we did to cause the physical harm. Did we drive to fast? Did we deliberately place ourselves in a dangerous situation? What did we learn from why what happened happened?

That may be the easy part: dealing with self-inflicted injury, whether accidental or purposeful. The harder injury to deal with is when it was inflicted by another, again, whether accidental or deliberate. We can handle more easily the accidental injury in either case. The deliberate is very difficult. When we have inflicted deliberate injury on ourselves or on anther or another has done so to us, that’s when the rubber hits the road.

What we have to do is, first, recognize the truth of what has happened. Then we have to ask for forgiveness from the one we hurt, whether that person is another or ourself – we do have to forgive ourselves – in order to move on. That is never, never, ever easy. Never. How do we forgive ourselves for deliberately hurting ourself? How do we forgive ourself for deliberately injuring another? How do we, like Jesus on the cross, forgive another for deliberately hurting us?

There is no easy answer. But unless we do, we will never move on it life.