WHEN EVEN THE UNDERTAKER IS SORRY

Mark Twain was once asked for his philosophy of life. His response is very enlightening: “Endeavor to live that when we come to die, even the undertaker will be sorry.” Twain opines that we should live in such a way that even if the only person who will financially profit from our death is the one who is being paid to lay us into the ground is sorry about our demise.

Will everyone miss us when we die? Even more, will anyone miss us when we die? We certainly hope some will even as we know not everyone will. We cannot touch the life of every person but we certainly can touch the lives of a few. We hope that these few will be sad when we pass on. Whether or not any one is is up to us. It depends on how we live our life.

Our goal in life is not simply to live so that people will mourn us when we are gone. We really won’t care because we will be dead. We won’t have an extra feel-good experience in death because the lines at our visitation are long and the eulogies are filled with words singing our praises. God will not be giving us an extra pat in the back either.

Twain’s observation begs the question: What kind of life must we lead that people will truly miss us, miss our presence among them, when we die, when we can no longer be a physical part of their lives? Does it mean that we have to be an integral part of their lives in the present? Does it mean that they will be less of a person because we are no longer around to fill what is missing in their lives? What does it mean?

To find the answer what we need to do is think about the people in our present lives whose death will truly cause much sorrow in our lives. What is it about them, about their lives, about who they are and what they do that is so vital and meaningful and important to us right here and now? What are those qualities that make our life better and will somehow be less once they are gone?

Once we can answer that question, then we have to look at our own life and try to discern what there may be about us that others find important to them. We all like to think, certainly believe, that we are valuable, that we have gifts and talents that are beneficial to others just as those others have gifts and talents that are beneficial to us. And we do have them. That is a certainty.

The issue then becomes even more personal when we are forced to ask ourselves whether or not we are using those gifts to the best of our ability, not so that others will be sorry when we die but because that is what we are supposed to do in the first place. That is the real issue at hand. For the truth is that when we use our gifts as best we can, we impact the lives of others just as those who use their gifts well impact our lives. We are sorry when they die, but thankful that they have been a part of our lives – and vice versa.