THE MINISTRY OF PRESENCE

There are times in our lives when we are at a loss for words. Even more, when words do come forth from our lips, they always seem trite, inadequate, even, at least to us, foolish. But we open our mouths because we think we have to say something. Why we think that way and why we go against common sense and just keep quiet is something we brood about later. We wonder why we – or somebody – didn’t give us a good swift kick in the rear and say “just shut up.”

Just shut up and do all we can do. And all we can do when words, any words, will be inadequate is simply be there, be present. The truth is that is all the person we are trying to comfort or help with our words really needs. Words only make the situation worse, again, because they will never make it better. Our words can’t take away the grief, the pain, the suffering the one we want to comfort is going through. They are only a reminder, once again, that the suffering and pain are real.

We understand. For when we have been the one others have tried to comfort and console with their words, what we wanted and needed at that moment in our lives was for someone to simply be there with us. They could not take away our pain, could not heal the disease or raise the departed loved one. They could only do what they could do and what we wanted them to do and that was be there, hold our hand and say nothing.

It is a ministry of presence. It sounds simple. Just be there, say nothing, hold hands. We know it is not. In fact, if the truth were told, we do not want to engage in that ministry because to do so is to enter into the pain of the one we are trying to comfort and we really, honestly, do not want to do that. Not at all. No one does.

But we must. We are not meant to go it alone in this life. We need others to be with us in good times and in bad, in joy and in sorrow, in sickness and in health. Sickness, sorrow and sadness are never, ever pleasant; but they are realities of life that escape no one. We cannot avoid them and we cannot run from them as much as we try. They catch up to us sooner or later, all of us, no exception. And when they do, what we want and need is for others to be present with us to walk with us. No words are needed; just our presence.

The ministry of presence is truly a ministry. We must never forget or underestimate the value and importance of being present to another in that person’s time of need. Many times in our lives that ministry takes place in absence. It takes place when all we can do is pray for the one we love or when the one we love prays for us. Those words of prayer are words of support, asking God to be with the one in pain because we cannot be there for the other or the other cannot be there for us.

The ministry of presence is a vocation to which each of us is called. When the call is made to be present, God will give us whatever grace and strength we need to fulfill it.