CONFLICTING ADVICE

My SOP (Standard Operating Procedure) after church on Sunday afternoons is to work the two crossword puzzles in the Post-Gazette. I start with the easier one and then finish with the one from The New York Times. The latter is not always fun to do especially when the theme is difficult to decipher and when the answers to the theme demand that you decipher how to fill in the blanks: backward to forward, upside down, etc. At least it keeps my mind from stagnating.

A few weeks ago the theme was “Conflicting Advice” and was both relatively easy to solve and fun as well. To wit: the clue was “He who hesitates is lost, but…” (and the answer was) “Look before you leap.” Thus: “You can’t judge a book by its cover, but…” “Clothes make the man.” “Birds of a feather flock together, but…” “Opposites attract.” “Great minds think alike, but…” “Fools seldom differ.” “Slow and steady wins the race, but…” “Time waits for no man.” “Knowledge is power, but…” “Ignorance is bliss.”

Conflicting advice, even in a crossword puzzle and even good advice on both sides of the equation. If we delay too long, we may lose a golden opportunity. But if we don’t examine that opportunity before we accept it, we may be in for a heap of trouble. Judging a person by outward appearance only is foolish because it is the inner person that is the real person. But, then, a slob may simply be a slop yet Brooks Brother’s clothes may truly define the man.

It is true that those with the same likes tend to find compatible space but that space may be dull and boring because they are all alike. On the other hand, great relationships are often the result of fundamental differences. Those differences keep the relationship alive and vibrant as long as the differences are acknowledged, agreed upon and tolerated. Brilliant people do tend to find one another but so do fools.

Taking one’s time usually insures success but taking too much time may mean that someone else beats us to the goal. Having the right answer does make one powerful over those who do not know or understand what to do. But sometimes allowing the one with the knowledge to make the decision is indeed blissful.

In this life in this world we give and are given all kinds of advice. Sometimes, as the puzzle reminds, the advice we are given can be very conflicting and we are left scratching our heads wondering what we are supposed to do, whom we are supposed to believe. When we are the ones giving the advice, we want to make sure that the person we are advising understands that there may be two sides to the issue at hand.

In the end, we give it our best knowing that because we are not infallible, we may make the wrong decision. Time will only tell. If we chose the correct advice and it worked out well, good. If we chose wrongly, so be it. At least we will have learned from it.