THAT GRAIN OF SAND

Father Jack Neilson was a former colleague of mine. We served together many years ago in West Virginia. Jack was what is called a “delayed vocation”, meaning that he was ordained a priest later in life – in his late forties. Jack’s “real” vocation, as others might have put it, was in management with J. C. Penney. My suspicion, and that of those who worked with him and under him, is that he could have become CEO of the company if that had been a career choice. But it was not, because Jack’s real vocation, life-long vocation, was to serve people. Jack did not need a round collar around his neck to do that.

Jack died a month or so ago. Up to the very end of his life, as long as his health permitted, Jack continued to serve people simply because that was part of his DNA, if you will. During the days when he was both priest and manager, days when he and I served together, I sometimes wondered how he found time to do to it all. Jack would tell you that there were two reasons why he was able to do so: his great faith and the love and support of his wife, Lynette.

Nevertheless, I am certain it was not always as easy as Jack made it seem to be. It never is, not in this life anyway when even your purist and most loving motives can be and sometimes are challenged by others. Those others are the ones who usually need love more than they know or are at least unwilling to admit. Jack loved and served them even more. That sometimes made them even angrier and more frustrated, but Jack never gave in or gave up.

How did he do this? Certainly the grace of God played a large part. God’s grace is always needed in this life, especially when the going gets really rough and tough. But doing the ministry, the loving service God calls us to fulfill is, in and through it all, work. It is often weary and wearing. It is especially so when, like Jack, you are trying to wear two hats at the same time, even multiple hats: priest, boss, spouse, parent, civic leader – the list is long.

What kept Jack grounded, I think, was a little plaque he had on his desk for decades. It read, “It isn't the mountains ahead that wear you out; it's the grain of sand in your shoe.” Jack never let those grains of sand build up until they became stones that became mountains. He dealt with each grain of sand not as a challenge to be overcome but as a person to love, serve and help. The truth is, almost all of the problems we face each day are centered on people. We human beings can often be some very large and painful grains of sand in the shoes of the people who really love and care about us.

Jack knew that those grains of sand needed to be dealt with sooner rather than later. If Jack and I had an issues, which we rarely did, he made certain we dealt with them quickly, professionally and lovingly. He did that as well with the people who worked under him, which is why the stores he managed were always leaders in the company. Jack used to say that if the workers wanted to form a union, it was the manager’s fault. The stone was always addressed as soon as it was felt. That is not as easy as it might seem especially if we are wont to avoid dealing with it, as many of us are. But it is the loving thing to do. Jack never let the grains of sand wear him out. Nor should we.