SUFFERING

If there is one word that perhaps best describes the events of Good Friday that word is “suffering”. Jesus suffered in an indescribable way as did those who loved and followed him. That suffering manifested itself in severe mental, physical, spiritual and emotional pain. It was deep seated and deeply felt. Jesus's cry to his Father about feeling forsaken is a verbal indication of how painful that suffering really was.

All of us have suffered. Some of us are presently doing so. We all will again. Suffering is part and parcel of our human existence. The question that arises amidst suffering is "Why?" Anne Morrow Lindberg once reflected: "I do not believe that sheer suffering teaches. If suffering also taught, all the world would be wise since everybody suffers. To suffering must be added mourning, understanding, patience, love, openness and the willingness to be vulnerable."

Suffering for suffering's sake is empty, even futile. Yet, even mournful suffering (as at the death of a loved one), understood suffering (knowing that it is the result of some foolishness on our part), patient suffering (while in the process of recovery), loving suffering (while taking care of an aged parent), open suffering (realizing that we are mortal), and vulnerable suffering (because we cannot escape it) – even all that, even altogether, is not enough.

For no matter how much we understand what suffering is all about, even understand why we are suffering in the first place, sometimes even then, to use a sport's metaphor, we blow the whistle before the game is over. We allow ourselves to be satisfied with suffering for suffering's sake because we suffer in honest grief, love, patience, understanding.

It is important to be fully present while in the throes of suffering and pain, as Jesus was. It helps us to focus on the cause of the suffering, which in and of itself is a learning and teaching experience. If we do not learn from our experience, if we do not understand even a little why we are suffering, and even if the cause of our suffering was outside our control, the pain will be even greater the next time around.

But suffering eventually comes to an end. And with the end comes resurrection, comes new life. Without that knowledge, without that understanding, the present pain can be and just might be unbearable. Jesus endured the tremendous physical suffering on the cross, with all the mental, emotional and spiritual pain that went with it because somehow in some way he knew the suffering would end in resurrection. That is why the suffering of Good Friday must be seen in the light of Easter Sunday.

That is why the sufferings we endure during our own – and many – Good Fridays must be seen and understood in the light of and knowledge that our Easter Sundays, our resurrections to new life, will follow, somehow in some way.

Happy Easter and Happy Easters!

UNITY NOT UNIFORMITY

If I were to summarize the long prayer that the writer of John’s Gospel puts into Jesus’ mouth at the Last Supper, it would be this: “that they may be one as we are one.” Jesus wants us, all of humanity, to be one as he and God are one. That prayer, unfortunately, at least in one way, has not been fulfilled. It has been in another.

We are one because we are all children of one God no matter what we believe about God or even if we even believe in God. Yet, when Jesus prayed as he did that we be one, his concern was for us to be more than simply brothers and sisters to one another. He prayed that we be in the same type of relationship that he had with God, a relationship based on mutual love one for another. If we ever attained that goal, we would indeed be one; we would be at unity one with the other.

Unity, however, is not the same as uniformity. Jesus and God are one but they are also different. Granted, we do not understand that difference because the idea, the concept of God, is simply beyond our human comprehension. My wife and I are one, we are united; but we certainly are not uniform when it comes to much in our daily lives. We like most of the same things, recreations, foods and the like; but we do not hold all things in common.

No one does because there is no one just like me. Each one of us is unique. Even though we may all hold much in common, even though we have the same God as our creator, we are different. That is the joy of life in this life. Can you imagine how boring life would be if we all thought alike, liked all the same foods, even looked alike. Life would not be life even though we were alive and well.

It is our differences that make life so wonderful on the one hand and sometimes so difficult on the other. Sometimes, when swamped by the problems those differences bring about, we are tempted to believe that our goal should be both unity and uniformity. If we could only get the other person to think as we do, to see as we see, to believe as we do, then all would be well – or so we might presume.

The scandal of Christianity to those who are not Christian and even to those of us who are is the divisiveness among us, often very bitter divisiveness, most of which is caused by one party wanting the other to be just like him/her/they. They want unity and uniformity. The church has never been united and uniform; never. Peter and Paul had their disagreements up to their own deaths. They took them to the grave. But they were united in their faith in Jesus and that was what really mattered.

What is important is our unity. As long as we do not insist that we have to be uniform as well, we can live well. We will deal with our differences in a loving way, compromising here, agreeing to disagree there, even changing because the love of the other is more important than what we are clinging to, whatever that is. The more we understand that unity is more important than uniformity, the easier it is to be one even with all our differences.

BALOO, LEO AND SHERE KHAN

A friend of mine sent me a picture story about Leo the African lion, Baloo the black bear, and Shere Khan the Bengal tiger. “The threesome were rescued as babies from the basement of an Atlanta drug dealer’s home when it was raided by authorities. They were starving, traumatized and had bacterial infections. They were brought to Noah’s Ark Animal Sanctuary where they’ve lived in the same habitat together for 13 years. The only time the three were separated was when Baloo was sent to surgery. [While at the drug dealer’s home, Baloo had been mistreated so profoundly that the harness that was put on him had grown into his skin.] The two cats were distraught and cried for the bear’s return when he was at the vet’s.

“Since then no one has separated the group. They clearly bonded during their earliest memories and never wanted to be apart. Now they live together as if they were brothers of the same species. They play together, nuzzle one another and are extremely affectionate. This threesome is the only lion, tiger and bear living together in the world. They’re just that exceptional. Humans could really learn from the bond that these three have. No one ever told them they couldn’t love one another, so they did just that. And now, even all these years later, they continue to do so.”

One has to wonder, then, about certain animals being natural enemies. Yet the story is about more than that. Is it not Baloo’s, Leo’s and Shere Khan’s reminder of that line from South Pacific that we human beings have to learn how to hate? Hate does not come naturally to us. What does come naturally is hate’s antithesis, namely love. We do not have to learn how to love. We know instinctively how to love and we know instinctively when any action of ours is not a loving action.

Instinctively: being a loving person is part of our DNA because we are all creations/children of an all-loving God. Love flows from our very being whether we believe it or not, whether we realize it or not. That is why we have to learn how to act in contradiction to this natural impulse to love the other. Others have to teach us how to be unloving and, ultimately, how to hate. What is more is that we have to accept that teaching as a valid and correct way to respond to the other.

Today when we watch the news, we ask ourselves how ISIS can be so cruel, so hateful; how they can in seemingly good conscience and with no remorse, behead innocent people. The answer is that they have been taught how to hate and have somehow come to believe that such actions are tolerated and even taught by their Prophet. That may shock us but it should not surprise us. Not too long ago in our country Christians clad in white hoods and sheets came to believe it was fine with Jesus to hate and hang innocent black men.

Such hateful actions were wrong back then and are so now. The pictures of Baloo, Leo and Shere Khan nuzzling each other are heart-warming to anyone who sees them or can imagine them. But they are more than that and must be. They are a reminder that our basest instinct is not to hate but to love. We are given the opportunity many times a day to choose between love and hate. How we respond is up to us.

THAT GRAIN OF SAND

Father Jack Neilson was a former colleague of mine. We served together many years ago in West Virginia. Jack was what is called a “delayed vocation”, meaning that he was ordained a priest later in life – in his late forties. Jack’s “real” vocation, as others might have put it, was in management with J. C. Penney. My suspicion, and that of those who worked with him and under him, is that he could have become CEO of the company if that had been a career choice. But it was not, because Jack’s real vocation, life-long vocation, was to serve people. Jack did not need a round collar around his neck to do that.

Jack died a month or so ago. Up to the very end of his life, as long as his health permitted, Jack continued to serve people simply because that was part of his DNA, if you will. During the days when he was both priest and manager, days when he and I served together, I sometimes wondered how he found time to do to it all. Jack would tell you that there were two reasons why he was able to do so: his great faith and the love and support of his wife, Lynette.

Nevertheless, I am certain it was not always as easy as Jack made it seem to be. It never is, not in this life anyway when even your purist and most loving motives can be and sometimes are challenged by others. Those others are the ones who usually need love more than they know or are at least unwilling to admit. Jack loved and served them even more. That sometimes made them even angrier and more frustrated, but Jack never gave in or gave up.

How did he do this? Certainly the grace of God played a large part. God’s grace is always needed in this life, especially when the going gets really rough and tough. But doing the ministry, the loving service God calls us to fulfill is, in and through it all, work. It is often weary and wearing. It is especially so when, like Jack, you are trying to wear two hats at the same time, even multiple hats: priest, boss, spouse, parent, civic leader – the list is long.

What kept Jack grounded, I think, was a little plaque he had on his desk for decades. It read, “It isn't the mountains ahead that wear you out; it's the grain of sand in your shoe.” Jack never let those grains of sand build up until they became stones that became mountains. He dealt with each grain of sand not as a challenge to be overcome but as a person to love, serve and help. The truth is, almost all of the problems we face each day are centered on people. We human beings can often be some very large and painful grains of sand in the shoes of the people who really love and care about us.

Jack knew that those grains of sand needed to be dealt with sooner rather than later. If Jack and I had an issues, which we rarely did, he made certain we dealt with them quickly, professionally and lovingly. He did that as well with the people who worked under him, which is why the stores he managed were always leaders in the company. Jack used to say that if the workers wanted to form a union, it was the manager’s fault. The stone was always addressed as soon as it was felt. That is not as easy as it might seem especially if we are wont to avoid dealing with it, as many of us are. But it is the loving thing to do. Jack never let the grains of sand wear him out. Nor should we.

WHAT “TOO-MUCH-TO-DO” ADDS UP TO

The simple life. We dream about it, talk about it, desire it, and wonder if it will ever be a reality – or if it ever was. We hear and read about the Amish, their way of life, and think that there's something there, something to it. Yet we know that while their life may be simple, it isn't easy. Then, too, maybe what we are really looking for is the well-ordered life. I lived one of those once, for twelve years in a seminary setting. It was truly ordered, well ordered, well regulated – by the bell. It had its advantages, but it wasn't "life," even if it was twelve years of my life.

It often seems that we are at the mercy of forces beyond our control, as if someone or something else is in control of our very being. And yet, when we reflect upon our own lives, we realize that, for the most part, we really are in control.  So why does it seem that we always have too much to do, that there never is enough time in the day to get done what we think needs to get done, never enough time to do the things we want and need to do? My wife who is retired is busier now than ever. All those things she was going to get around to doing when she retired are still waiting for her to get around to doing.

We all have too much to do. The question is, "What does "too-much-to-do" add up to? The answer is: the complicated and complex life, the life of never enough time; a life of stress and worry and frustration. Granted, it may not be that bad or as bad as all that sounds or seems to imply. But it surely is far from the simple life and far from the life that we would choose to live were we able to make the choice on what kind of life to live.

The truth is, of course, that we do have a choice. We are not at the mercy of forces beyond our control. We are in a position to say "yes" or "no" to outside demands and pressures. No one puts a gun to our head and says, "Take on this added responsibility, this new task, this 'whatever', or else." If there is “gun”, it’s in our own hand. So how do we go about getting control of our lives? How do we make sure we don't have too much to do, but rather enough to do that our lives are fulfilling yet not too much that our lives become out of control?

The first step is to step back and let go of some of those self-imposed obligations that have already added up to one too many obligations. We need to step back and make some time for ourselves, time to be able to reflect on the way we have been living our live. For the truth of the matter is that we are no good to anyone else if we are not first good to ourselves.

We'll never get it completely right, of course, life, that is, even if we would discover what the "right" life is. We practice getting it right all the while we are living it. Sometimes we make mistakes and sometimes we get it right, the latter more often than the former.  As we live our lives, as we practice our faith, we discover that there are certain "practices" that help make the practicing and the living much easier. And the more we practice these practices, the more we will find and hopefully live the simple and Christian life. We need to begin to think about the practices of life and faith that will make our lives simpler, with less to do, and also better. The first practice, of course, is learning how to say “no”.