WHEN YOU’RE 92

My mother-in-law is 92, an active, if slowing-down, 92. She drives her big Lincoln to and from the grocery store and drug store and hair appointments and occasionally to the mall across the river but only between ten in the morning and two in the afternoon – less traffic that way, which is mutually good, both for her and for the other drivers on the road. Arlena and I drive down to visit at least twice a month to make sure her medications are filled and the salt in her water softener is filled and some housework is done and to take her out to lunch, which she loves!

She just had cataract surgery on one eye and will have the other eye done soon. She can’t wait until she can see clearly again so that she can get back to cross-stitching and reading which she dearly loves. It will also give us peace of mind knowing that bad eyesight is a hindrance to good driving. She is independent and will remain so until she can no longer do so. Good for her.

The day before her first cataract surgery she had a doctor’s appointment for routine check-up. The Physician’s Aide who did the checking told her that her blood sugar was up. Her reply? “That’s not my fault. It’s my son-in-law’s [me]. He keeps bringing me these great cookies and I just have to eat them.” The P.A. just looked at her not knowing how to respond. Well, how do you respond?

After the doctor’s visit, mother and daughter went to the mall because “Belk’s is having a great sales” so said mother-in-law. It seems that the shopping gene stays strong until the heart stops beating. At least it does in these two, neither of which can resist a sale. When Arlena meekly protested that she would probably have to put some charges on Bill’s [me, again] card, mom just laughed as they headed to the mall.

“Not my fault my sugar level is high” “Not my fault they’re having a sale and I’ll probably buy something.” It’s my fault [me].  If I had not bought the cookies and if I had not, well, never mind. You get the point. You just have to laugh, which is exactly what I did when Arlena told me the story. We all like to pass the buck of responsibility when we can conveniently do so even as we know exactly what we are doing. And we all do no matter what our age: both pass the back and know that is exactly just what we are doing.

In this instance it was mostly harmless. My mother-in-law’s blood sugar was not way out of line. Besides, she’s 92. What’s a cookie or two now and then, even if it's more often than now and then? It’s not going to kill her. And what’s another pair of shoes that you “just have to have and they fit perfectly” when you’ll be giving quite a few to the Yard Sale?

We all make excuses. When you’re 92 and lived a full life and the indiscretions are small and often silly and laughable, who cares? When you are your mother’s daughter, you hope you live long enough to make the same excuses. Oh, you already are!

We are who we are. I wouldn’t change one thing about my mother-in-law or my wife. I’ll keep bringing her cookies and I’ll keep smiling as I lead my wife into the next shoe store or shoe department we pass by. My mother-in-law didn’t reach 92 because she took life so seriously that she couldn’t enjoy it even as her life has honestly been a difficult one. There’s a lesson there.