WITH EYES WIDE SHUT

A short parable: A young couple moves into a new neighborhood. The next morning while they are eating breakfast, the young woman sees her neighbor hanging the wash outside and says, "That laundry is not very clean; she doesn't know how to wash correctly. Perhaps she needs better laundry soap." Her husband looks on, remaining silent. Every time her neighbor hangs her wash to dry, the young woman makes the same comments. A month later, the woman is surprised to see a nice clean wash on the line and says to her husband: "Look, she's finally learned how to wash correctly. I wonder who taught her this? “The husband replies, "I got up early this morning and cleaned our windows." And so it is with life. What we see when watching others depends on the clarity of the window through which we look.

Isn’t that the truth? It is also true that it is difficult for us to admit to that truth. We like to think, nay, believe, that we see clearly at all times, that we are not blinded by prejudices, or set in our ways by our culture, or influenced not only by our own past experiences but even worse by the thoughts and opinions of those others whom we allow to think for us rather than thinking for ourselves.

The fact that we also at times see with rose-colored glasses does not lessen the guilt that is ours when we fail to see the truth when it is right in front of us or accept what is said to be the truth without ever questioning its veracity or the veracity of the one telling us that “truth”. Sometimes it is even wrong to allow ourselves to wear those glasses that color the hard truth and tell us that what we see is really not as bad as it is or the person doing what is wrong is really not so bad after all.

There are times, too, when we do not want to see the truth because it will force us to do something that is difficult and painful, whether it is to call on the carpet someone we love or to place ourselves on that carpet and face the consequences of our actions. It had to be difficult for the husband in the parable to confront his wife with the truth and it was perhaps even more difficult for his spouse to face the truth.

It always is. We do not like to admit to the truth of our failings and shortcomings, our sins of commission and omission. It is always painful to do so. Even more, we do not like to have to point out the errors of their ways to those we love and who love us. That, too, is always painful. The truth hurts, but it only hurts because we have avoided the truth and are now having to pay the piper, as they say.

We can always find reasons why we allow our prejudices or our upbringing or our past or the voices of those who shout the loudest to excuse our words and actions when we know there really is no excuse except perhaps pure laziness. It takes effort, often a great deal of effort, to confront all those internal and external influences that keep our eyes shut to the truth, whatever that truth may be.

Our life, if it is to be led to the fullest and in the way we know it should be led, must be with our eyes wide open and accepting no excuses why they are not.