HOLDING OUT THE OLIVE BRANCH

(An upfront disclaimer: I am a very proud grandfather. Nevertheless:) a few weeks ago Arlena and I traveled to Elkins, WV, to help celebrate granddaughter Kayleigh’s ninth birthday. As we did last year, we held her party in one of the local parks underneath a picnic shelter. There was pizza to eat and cake to share and games to play, even a piñata to break loaded with candy. The kids and grandparents had a great time.

As the children were arriving for the party, Jessica, our daughter and Kayleigh’s Mom, was talking to us and pointed out a young girl who was walking to the shelter. “See that girl over there?” she asked. “For the past few weeks she has been bullying Kayleigh at school and been very mean to her. When I asked Kayleigh whom she wanted to come to her party, she said she wanted to invite this girl. When I asked her why, she said, “Because I want to hold out an olive branch to her.” As a proud grandfather, I could not have been prouder.

Jessica said that the two have been getting along well since the invitation. That is good and I hope the friendship lasts. If it is up to Kayleigh, I know it will. But, of course, friendship is not just one-sided. Only time will tell if Kayleigh’s olive branch is held onto by the other girl and they remain friends.

For me personally, this is not just a nice story and a fond remembrance that I will always treasure about my granddaughter. There is also a lesson in it for me. I have to wonder, were I in Kayleigh’s place, would I have invited someone who had been bullying me? Would I have held out an olive branch to make peace when I was not the one who was breaking the peace in the first place?

I know I should, but would I? It’s the Christian, loving thing to do; but would I be that Christian, that loving? I wonder. I would like to believe that Kayleigh’s response to someone else’s hurtful behavior would be my response. I would hope that I would be so kind. But I am not so certain that I would. As kind and as loving as I think I am (and that is for others to decide whether this is true or not), I am not sure I could forgive someone who is hurting me without that person asking for forgiveness, which is what holding out an olive branch implies.

As Christians we are to seek peace, work for reconciliation, be forgivers. Sometimes, as Kayleigh’s actions remind, we have to take the first steps even if the other person is still hell bent on continuing the hurt. Sometimes, if and when we do, we may be rebuffed and the hurt made even more painful. We never know and we will never know if we do not extend that olive branch.

That is never easy to do. I am sure that it was not easy for Kayleigh to approach her classmate and invite her to the party because she did not know ahead of time what the other girl’s response would be. But Kayleigh not only wanted the bullying to cease, she also wanted to be friends. And she knew that neither would happen unless and until she took the first step. She did and I am so very proud of her – and humbled as well.