Experience Is the Key

If you are like me, you have strong opinions on a variety of subjects both secular and sacred. There are times when we voice those opinions loudly and clearly and there are times when we keep them to ourselves, discretion being the better part of valor. We have learned when to keep our mouths shut and our opinions to ourselves, but we do not always do so.

We are told that we should not get into arguments over religion or politics, both subjects for which we tend to have very strong opinions, but we do. We hardly ever win these arguments because we seldom convince the other that we are right and s/he is wrong because s/he is just as convinced as we about the correctness of the opinion being put forth and defended. Of course, given the strength of our convictions, we always seem to believe that we have won the argument and the other person, stubborn fool that he or she is, has lost.

In truth there is nothing wrong with debating the issues. Often that is how we learn even if it is begrudgingly. When we allow ourselves to be open to hearing what another thinks and why s/he thinks that way, we may not end up changing our minds; but at least we can understand both why there are those who disagree with us and why they do so. If it were so easy to convince people to vote Democratic, for instance, we’d all be Democrats.

In order to arrive at the truth, whatever the truth is, we have to be able to look at it from every angle. Because of innate and unrecognized (and often unadmitted) prejudices, it is often quite difficult for us to arrive at the truth. We see the truth from where we are standing and then end up standing convinced that we are right or in the right and those who disagree with us are wrong or in the wrong.

Flannery O’Conner once observed that “conviction without experience makes for harshness.” I would add that it also makes for judgment and persecution. Having been there and done that, wherever it is we have been and whatever it is we have done, always tends either to temper our opinions and convictions or make them stronger. When we know of what we speak, we are less prone to judge those who have not walked in our shoes and thus do not understand.

We have all been on both ends – judging harshly on the one hand and being the victim of another’s mean words and judgment and even persecution on the other and in either case not knowing what we or they were talking about because we both spoke from inexperience and a true lack of understanding. When we only see things from our viewpoint, we do not see the whole picture and that’s what gets us into trouble.

Experience is the key. Thus, given our inability or unwillingness to see and understand the other side, the truth seems to be that it is that only those who have walked the walk are those who can honestly talk the talk. The rest of us need to shut up and listen and learn and not be harsh, critical or judgmental. We ask that courtesy of others and others ask that of us.