Monday, April 28, 2025

HEROES AND SKELETONS

Most of us, perhaps all of us, have had heroes as we were growing up. We may even have some today. We probably should. Since no one of us is the best of the best in any aspect of life, since there is always someone better at whatever it is we admire and our proud of in ourselves, since we can always be and do better, it is important that we not only recognize and acknowledge our shortcomings but that we also hold up those who are better than we are.

That does not make these heroes of ours gods in any way, shape or form. They are just as fallible as we are, just as prone to failure, just as in need of their own heroes, and, in other words, just as human as we are. No one, no matter how accomplished, how revered, how held in respect and awe, is without imperfection. There is no one of us who does not have a skeleton or three in his or her closet.

There is one area of life in which we are all equals and that is the fact, the truth, the indisputable truth, that we are all sinners. Some may be greater sinners than others. Some are greater sinners than others. That is obvious. Some of my distant relatives had no compunction when it came to taking another person’s life – and in cold blood, no less. My sins pale in comparison.

Even so, the fact that I am a better person than say a Great Uncle Giuseppe is neither reason to brag or feel proud, nor does it let me off the hook for my own sins. Unfortunately, if you are like me, the temptation is to cut myself some slack, sometimes a lot of slack, just because I not only deem but know myself to be better morally than someone else. The truth is, I often do.

Even more, when I do come to grips with my own failings and shortcomings and admit that I am not as good and as holy as I want to think I am or want others to think about me, this does not allow me to gloat when someone I have held up as a paragon of virtue comes tumbling down to earth. Such thoughts are not only unbecoming they are also a source of false pride. Whenever I take the tiger by the tail, I soon discover that tail is attached to me.

No one truly likes to see a personal hero fail or fall. The fall is never in isolation because too many innocent people are caught in the mess, often those the fallen hero loves the most. Yet, sadly, it happens regularly. When it does, what we need to do, what we must do, what is certainly the Christian thing to do, is not gloat over that person’s downfall but to realize and reflect that there, but for the grace of God, or simply dumb luck, go I.

Whenever the skeleton in another’s closet, especially that of one of our heroes, is exposed, it should give us pause. It gives us the time and the opportunity not only to pray for that person and all who have been and will continue to be hurt. More importantly, it will allow us to reflect on our own lives in order to contemplate our own skeletons and pray not only that they remain locked up but that we will so live our lives from now on so that we do not add any more to that already almost-full closet.

Monday, April 21, 2025

HOW DO WE KNOW?

It is a given that we all want to do what is right, what is just, what is loving. Yes, we all sometimes do what we know is wrong, what we know to be unjust, what we know to be selfish. And we do so knowingly, willingly and deliberately. We are human. But children of God that we are, there is something innate in us that desires the right, the just, the loving, the good.

How do we know that to be true? Simply because as soon as we have said or done something we know to have been wrong or unjust or selfish, we feel guilty. And we don’t like that feeling. We don’t like it one bit. We don’t like to live with the knowledge that we have failed to live up to what we desire of ourselves, namely, to be the best person we can be. It eats away at us.

But how do we know what to do? How do we avoid making mistakes? Somewise person once observed that good judgment comes from experience. Experience comes from bad judgment. In other words, sometimes we have to make mistakes to know we have done that which we should not have done. Sometimes we truly have to touch the hot pan to know we should not touch hot pans.

Sometimes, however, we are met with what sounds like conflicting pieces of advice. We are told that we must look before we leap. Wise advice else we might jump headfirst into a pool that is only a foot deep. On the other hand, we are told that the one who hesitates is lost. In other words, full speed ahead. That, too, can be wise advice as we all have no doubt learned from experience.

We are reminded that many hands make light work. The more, the merrier and the quicker the job gets done. On the other hand we are told from reputable sources that too many cooks spoil the broth. Too much advice can make a simple job seem overwhelming and it can certainly make a mess of what everyone wants to do but where everyone also has his or her own opinion on how best to do it.

So how do we know? How do we know when to go it alone or when to seek help, when to take our time before starting a project or when to jump right in? An old Jewish saying has it that the difference between the wise person and the clever person is that the clever person can extricate him/herself from a situation into which a wise person never would have gotten into in the first place.

It’s always better to be wise, but wisdom comes from experience and experience comes, often, from making mistakes, from getting ourselves into positions we could have avoided had we been wiser, from slowing down when we should have sped up and from speeding when we should have slowed down.

All of which is a reminder about one, if not the essential, lesson of Easter. That is that no matter what happens, no matter what mistake we have made or how many, there is always resurrection. Learning from our mistakes is an Easter experience. Good to know.

Monday, April 14, 2025

FORGETTING IS IMPOSSIBLE

It is certainly something good for me that I found my vocation in an area that is as far removed from science as possible. I get to think thoughts scientists rebel against. They want proof and I only ask for theories that sound and seem logical but, in the end, may not hold water. But they get me through the day even if at the end of the day I have more questions than answers. I can live with ambiguity. I suspect scientists cannot.

Faith is like that. It allows us to live without having all the answers even as we struggle from day to day with questions that beg for answers. God-questions abound for the believer and unbeliever alike. God-answers are few and far between. People of faith can live without the answers. People who lack faith, who demand answers and want empirical proof, simply write God off. That’s their choice.

Yet we people of faith still have to live in the real world where seemingly simple faithful and loving actions are difficult because what our faith asks us to do is well-nigh impossible. We are asked, for instance, to not only forgive the person who has sinned against us, deliberately and knowingly, but also to erase the memory of that sin from our minds, or at least to act as if it has been erased. But, no matter how faithful, how loving, how much we want to, we cannot. Forgetting is impossible. Everything we have ever said or seen or done is locked in our brain somewhere waiting to be called to mind once again. All it needs is some trigger and, bang, there it is for us to relive all over again.

Some, many, even most, of those memories are pleasantly recalled. It’s the bad ones that give us so much grief, the ones we wish we could erase but cannot. They haunt us and can make daily living difficult especially if the one we have hurt is someone we love, which is usually the case, is it not? The old song says it so well: we only hurt the ones we love, the ones we shouldn’t hurt at all.

All of which brings us to Easter and resurrection and new life. We believe that Jesus died on the cross on Friday and was raised to life on Sunday, on Easter. We believe that new life can come from death, whatever that death. We believe that even when bad horrible, awful things happen to us, especially those of the intentional kind, there is always resurrection – or at least there can be.

But new life, resurrection, does not come all on its own. It takes the grace of God as well as both our desire to live that new life and to cooperate with God’s grace make to resurrection happen. If we want new life to come, if we want resurrection, we can make it happen. If we do not, it won’t. God won’t force us to do anything we do not want to do. It’s as simple as that. Forgetting is impossible. Forgiveness is not.

That does not mean it will be easy. It won’t be because that which caused the pain and hurt will never be forgotten, but it can be forgiven. It is only in forgiveness that resurrection and new life takes place. Easter reminds us that with God’s always-offered grace and our willingness to accept that grace and do our part there can always be resurrection – no matter what the scientists may say. Happy Easter.

Monday, April 7, 2025

HOLY WEEK

The events we remember and celebrate during Holy Week are almost too much to comprehend let alone try to get our hearts and minds around, to grasp fully. It is as if the church is asking too much of us in offering Palm Sunday, Maundy Thursday, Good Friday, the Great Easter Vigil and the Easter itself as occasions for worship, reflection and remembrance.

But here we are. Even as late in the year as it is this year, Holy Week is somehow suddenly upon us and we are asked to clear our calendars and immerse ourselves in the events of Jesus’ life, death and resurrection. And even if we can, and even if we do, once the week is concluded and we are back to our normal lives coming the day after Easter, we will find ourselves trying to put everything into some semblance of perspective.

So how do we get at least a small handle on some of what took place that week so long ago? How do we make some sense of it all and apply it to our own lives? How do we make Holy Week personal but not too personal so as to be so overwhelmed by it all that we throw up our hands and walk away believing that it is simply too much for one person to comprehend?

Perhaps we already have. Perhaps that is why the celebrations during Holy Week are so sparsely attended: we’re convinced that it is religion overload and we can only take so much at one time. Yes, our time is important and our calendars are already full and to ask us to clear those calendars to come and worship so often is just asking too much. Maybe so, but there it is.

Yet each of those celebrations/remembrances of events in Jesus’ life is also an opportunity for each of us to examine our own lives to discover that what happened to Jesus happens to us not just one week of the year but every week of every year. Palm Sunday’s celebration is a reminder that as Jesus was entering Jerusalem from the east, Pilate and his army was entering Jerusalem from the west. Every day we are asked whom we serve: Jesus or Caesar.

Maundy Thursday with our remembering Jesus’ washing the feet of his disciples and the institution of the Eucharist remind us that we are called to serve those less blessed than we and know that we can do so through the strength we receive from the Eucharist. How are we fulfilling that calling and how often do we take advantage of the offered Strength?

Good Friday reminds us that Jesus died because his living example of love for all was a threat to those whose lives were being lived contrary to what he taught. Do our lives model Jesus’?  Do we back off on doing what is right on the one hand and do we do that which we know we should not on the other all because of peer pressure?

The events of Holy Week give us much to ponder about ourselves, about our lives, about how we live out our faith. The best way to do some needed pondering is by taking the time to do so, in church, at worship.