POSSESIONS CAN LEAVE US EMPTY HANDED

Sometimes we all have a difficulty with sharing our possessions. We are like the little child who grabs the ball from his younger brother and says, “That’s mine!” and will not, under any circumstances, share it. Even when Mom or Dad tries to explain why he should share his ball with his brother, he resists. He can neither understand why he has to nor will he give in even under parental orders.

Again, such selfishness is not the sole prerogative of children. Adults are just as susceptible to holding on to what they have and being unwilling to share it with anyone, even a sibling or parent, as are children. There has to be some specific possessive gene within each of us that makes us so. Yes, some people are less prone to hoarding possessions than others, but even the greatest of saints is tempted to do so and even gives in on occasion.

When we find ourselves doing such hoarding, what we will also discover, if we stop to think about what we are doing and why, is that we are preventing ourselves from gaining something more and something even more valuable. For when we close our hands, literally and figuratively around something, some possession, we are then unable to open those same hands to receive anything from another, from others.

When we unclasp those hands to let loose of something, they are then opened to receive back from another thanks and love, friendship and support. It is so true that it is only in giving that we receive because it is only in opening our hands that they can reach out and receive something from another. What is received, we soon learn, or if we have learned are again reminded, is always more valuable than that which we have let go.

Over the years I have saved over 200 lives having donated over twenty-five gallons of blood. I did not hoard my blood but shared it. What I have received in return is the knowledge that I have indeed saved that many lives, but even more, I benefited from giving. My blood and blood pressure got tested every two months. The truth is that even in my generosity I had been somewhat selfish.

The point is that even in totally selfless giving, there is always a modicum of selfishness. Thus, that is why it is also true that there is more pleasure in giving than in receiving because, again, we always get back more than we give, even if what we get back seems at first glance to be so much less. We give gifts because doing so gives us pleasure, makes us feel good in the process and even makes us feel good about ourselves.

The saddest people in the world are not those who have nothing but those who seem to have everything but are unwilling and even unable to share something, even some small piece of their abundance, with anyone. They hold their hands so tightly around their possessions that they literally squeeze the life out of them, the life those possessions could be giving to those in need and, at the same time, squeeze the life out of themselves. It is sad but it happens and it can happen to us. That possessive gene can rear its ugly head and grab us by the neck when we least expect it. Beware!

 

CONFESSION DOES NOT EXCUSE

It is never easy to take the high moral ground as much as we preachers are tempted to do. We can all name several famous, now infamous, clergy who have railed against moral transgressions only to be caught transgressing themselves, much to their shame. Every last one of us is a sinner. It goes with the territory of being human.

Thus, we all have sins to confess, moral transgressions for which we are ashamed. It does take guts to stand before other sinful, fallible human beings and confess to our transgressions, even when we cannot deny them, especially if they happen to become front-page news and/or fodder for holier-than-thou talk show pundits. We sinned. We were caught. Now we confess, tears streaming down our faces in humiliation.

We now want to think it’s over and done with. We think that confessing to our sins is punishment enough, that the press, the media, the public, and even those we have offended the most – spouse, children, family – should accept our confession, our sorrow and then allow us to move on as if our courage in confessing was and is enough. It isn’t nor should it be. It should only be the beginning.

For when we are caught in a lie, whatever that lie, that sin, courage is not the issue. There is no one else to blame, even as much as we would like to blame society or human nature or bad genes for our misconduct. We did it. We did it knowingly and willingly. Everyone knows we did it. We cannot blame anyone else because there is no one else to blame. To refuse to accept the blame is not courage but cowardice.

However, standing up to our sins, confessing that, yes, we did it and there is no excuse for what we did, is only the first step. It is not the last step nor is it the only step, as much as we would like it to be. Punishment follows. The problem, of course, is that we want to believe that because we have confessed to an obvious transgression, we are now excused from having to pay any penalty, from being punished.

That’s not courage. That’s hypocrisy. What is even more hypocritical is when we lambaste those who have publicly sinned while engaging in our own immoral and/or illicit activity.  Confession is always the first step in getting back on track even when we have no choice but to confess because there is no way to deny our transgression. Believing that confession now makes us exempt from any sort of punishment other than the humiliation of being caught is an even worse offense.

We live in an era where public confession of public misdeeds is deemed sufficient. It is not because it only leads to worse offenses in the future. It’s akin to confessing to the State Trooper who has just flagged us down for speeding that, yes, we were indeed speeding and believing that, because we owned up to our offense, we should not get a ticket. If the Trooper is kind and let’s us off with a warning, odds are that sooner rather than later, we will be stopped again. Had we received the deserved ticket and the points, we would be less inclined to speed in the future. Escaping deserved punishment does not make us better. It often, sadly, leads to greater transgressions, as we all can attest.