When I was growing up, purgatory was assumed to be my first destination when I died. After all, being human and being a sinner I was going to die in some state of sin, hopefully not in a state of mortal sin, which would consign me to hell for eternity. There was that fear, of course, fear that if I indeed did commit a mortal sin and did not get to confession before I died, hellfire and brimstone waited my unfortunate soul.
Purgatory was the place – or at least the state of being because I had no idea what type of being I would be in death – where I would first go in order to be purgated, if that is a word, cleansed of my sins before I would be allowed into heaven. What that purgation consisted of and how long it would last and, even more, how painful it might be, was left to my imagination. But no matter how long or how painful, it would certainly be better than hell.
Purgatory is no longer of concern. It hasn’t been for a long time because purgatory is, frankly, not theological. If we believe Jesus died to save us, to free us from our sins, to forgive our sins, then our sins are forgiven. Period. If, however, we believe that when we die, we die in sin, and we do, but those sins still need to be cleansed, then what we are saying is that Jesus’ death on the cross was insufficient. I have not found anyone who would dare maintain that it wasn’t.
On the other hand, if we do not hold that Jesus died for our sins, we have to hold that God is, as we believe, love, Love Itself. And love, certainly Love, always forgives. Period. No ands, ifs or buts; no exceptions. So whether Jesus died for our sins or our sins are forgiven because God loves us unconditionally and forgives us unconditionally, there is thus no need for purgatory.
Purgatory in the life to come, that is. I still believe in purgatory and I still believe in hell. I believe that I – all of us – go through our purgatory in this life. We know, certainly believe, that our sins are forgiven. And they are. They are wiped away. But what remains and what God cannot do and will not do is wipe away the effects of our sins, the pain our selfishness causes to those we love and even to ourselves.
Going through purgatory, for me at least, is that journey from sinning, through realizing what I have done and the pain my selfishness has caused to others, especially to those I love most, coming to terms with that selfishness, doing all I can to redress the harm I have caused and resolving, to the best of my ability and with God’s grace, to not to it again. There is no guarantee, however, that I will not sin again and that I will go through another bout of purgatory, but hopefully it will be less painful the next time.
I believe in the purgatory of the here-and-now, not of the hereafter. I also believe in a hell in the hereafter, but not a hell I may be consigned to because of my sins but a hell I have freely chosen. God does not send us to hell. We freely choose to be without God for all eternity in death. Is such a choice possible? Yes, unless we willingly and freely choose to go through the many purgatories of this life. But the choice is ours and not God’s.
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