CONFESSING ISN’T EASY

Confessing to someone else that we have done something that was wrong, perhaps terribly wrong, isn’t easy. If we have been in that unfortunate and unhappy position, we know the truth of this truth. If we have not been, all we need do is ask someone who has been there and done that. Even years removed from the sin and the confession, it still is painful to remember and recall the deed.

Why? Why is confessing our sins and transgressions, especially the grievous ones, so difficult? The simple answer is that it is humiliating. Even children understand that. Notice how they always find someone else to blame. It is a blow, even a severe blow, to our pride. We are better than that, we say. We knew better when we did the deed that now embarrasses us to high heaven as we confess it to another or to others. Even being caught in the act does not lessen the embarrassment. In fact, it only adds to it and makes it worse.

Perhaps that is one of the reasons, even the main reason, why we avoid making any kind of confession to anyone other than a general confession to no one. Such a confession is easy and it is certainly not in any way humiliating because we have confessed to what is obvious to everyone, including God and ourselves, namely, that we have done that which we know we should not have done and we have left undone that which we know we should have done.

But who hasn’t? We’re all sinners. It is only when we get specific with ourselves that it becomes difficult to verbalize those sins, even to ourselves. As long as we do not have to get specific, we will never be humiliated and, of course, we will never change for the better. Our actions will only get worse, more selfish and hurtful. As long as we never have to confront ourselves with the fact that we have mistreated our subordinates or willfully disobeyed our parents or cheated on our taxes or….

Well, we all get the picture. No one wants to be humiliated. If we can avoid it, we will; and a sure and certain way to do so is to not admit to our specific selfish words and actions. But it is only when we humble ourselves and admit at least to ourselves our specific sins that we will grow up and not regress. If nothing else, Lent is certainly a time for such intentional humiliation.

This is not meant to be a harangue as much as it is a self-directed sermon. I know me; but I also know I am no different than any other human being. When it comes to being humble, we would all like that humility to arise because of something good that we did, some honor that we have received and for which we are now thankful to God for the gifts we needed to do that for which we are now being praised.

Confessing to specific sins is humiliating. There is no getting around that truth. There is also no getting around to another truth and that is as long as we refuse to become so humble as to admit our real failings and shortcomings, we will never grow in our faith and we will never grow up.