FOCUSING ON OUR GIFTS

When our daughters were growing up, there was a natural rivalry among them. Each wanted to vie for our undivided attention, to be thought of as the “favorite”, with whatever perks that designation might have brought with it. They may have truly understood and even knew that we loved each of them equally, but that never stopped them from at least wanting to be Number One in our eyes.

All that goes, no doubt, with not being an only child. Not only was there a sense of rivalry among them for our love and attention, there was also a little but of jealousy present as well, an envy of the other. Each of the girls had her own gifts – physical, mental and spiritual. The problem was that they seemed to under-appreciate their own gifts and talents while envying those of one or more of their sisters’. I suspect that during those times when they were at each other’s throats or could not stand to be in the same room with a particular sister it was because of this sense of inferiority, of not possessing what the other had.

Three of our daughters could roll out of bed and do cartwheels. The other two were lucky if they didn’t fall out of bed. The two non-athletes, however, had their own gifts which made the other three jealous. As parents all we could do was stand back and watch – and pray that the envy did not progress into more than jealous outbursts. We often made valiant attempts trying to get them to focus on their own gifts rather than those of a sister, but mostly it was a waste of words and a waste of time. They saw what they wanted to see and blinded themselves to what they should truly have focused on.

But, then, don’t we all? Who of us has not found ourselves envying what another has? I’m not talking about material possessions even though such envy does also come to the fore more often than we would like to admit. Rather, there are too many occasions when we envy the gifts and talents of others while either totally overlooking or totally taking for granted those with which we are blessed.

This, too, probably goes along with being human. Whenever we recognize the gifts and talents another possesses, we, at the same time, realize that we are somehow less than we could be, or think we could be. Those of us who sing mostly off-key and who couldn’t play a musical instrument if our life depended on it believe we would be a better person and certainly more fulfilled if we could do one or both.

What we forget when we focus on another’s gifts rather than those of our own is that we are gifted in the way we are, with some gifts and not others, because that is the way God created us. It was God’s choice not to give us a voice likely Sinatra or a musical talent like even a person who sits in the third row of the high school band.

What God expects of us and what we should demand of ourselves is that we be thankful for the gifts with which we have been blessed, focus on them and then use them to the best of our ability. If we do that, we will have enough on our plate and won’t have time to be envious of anyone else.