BATTERIES AND GLUE

As we grow older, we cannot do some of the things we used to do as well as we used to do them nor as fast. And sometimes we cannot do them at all. That truth is often very difficult to accept especially when our mind tells us that we are really not as old as we are and, thus, should be able to do whatever we want. As my Mom got older and older, she used to look into the bathroom mirror and ask herself, “Who is that old lady looking at me.” And then she just laughed.

Arlena’s Mom, ninety-five and still going strong, readily admits that she no longer can do what she once did. She has a pacemaker to keep the heart steady. Several weeks ago she had to have a tooth removed to get at a bad abscess. After the procedure was completed, the orthodontist handed her the tooth he removed and told it to take it to her dentist who would glue it back in place. She did and he did. Now she tells us that she runs on batteries and is kept together by glue.

As our Moms continually remind us both from the grave (my Mom) and from the kitchen table (Arlena’s Mom), if you do not have a sense of humor as you grow older, aging is going to be rough going. Sometimes all you can do is smile amidst the pain as you struggle to get up from that table after sitting there a little too long. But as they say, struggling to get up from the table is better than the alternative.

Aging is never easy. I have two artificial hips, the first of which had to be replaced because it was defective. I am no longer allowed to go out for a jog. Of course, I have never in my life been tempted to do such a silly thing even when in my younger days I jogged a few 20 K races, which were really endurances and not races. The first 20 K I entered the winner was crossing the finish line as I crossed the half-way mark.

See what I mean? Sometimes we are the cause of the need for batteries and glue, for artificial hips and knees, and sometimes it is just the process of getting older. All those aches and pains are a reminder that sooner or later there will be no more aches and pains as my Mom now experiences. In the meantime, as we grow older, our lives have to slow down because our bodies force them to.

It is the process of growing older gracefully and gratefully. Not being able to do what we once did allows us now to do things we can do and never did or certainly did not do as we now do. I, for one, am grateful for that and am graced to be able to do what I can do even if I am limited in one way or another.

Whether it is batteries and glue, prosthetic hips, false teeth, a cane or walker or simply the aches and pains of a well-used body that keeps us together and slows us down, life is still worth living. We all, no matter how old or how young, no matter in peak physical condition or slowed to a crawl, we still have a lot to give and a lot to live for.

DIRT ROADS

Years ago the late M. Scott Peck reminded us in his great book The Road Less Traveled that life is difficult and that the way to make it through this life is that sometimes we have to take a road we would rather not take because it is too bumpy and fraught with obstacles along the way we would rather avoid. And, as he pointed out, we often take the easier road because, well, it is easier at the moment.

What we discover in the long run is that if we had taken the less-traveled road in the first place, as difficult as it seemed and perhaps was at the time, our life in the present would be so much better. Why? Because we are now dealing with the issues we would have encountered earlier and would be in our past but are now facing us. What may be even worse is that they are even more difficult to face because over time they have become more convoluted than when they first arose.

I was reminded about Peck’s advice, nay, warning, the other day when I say a t-shirt with these words: “Of all the paths you take in life, make some dirt.” In other words, deliberately take the less-traveled road, take the road that is a little bumpy and perhaps even dangerous. Put the GPS and maps away and see where the road leads. Take the hard way and not the easy one.

That, of course, goes against our normal inclination. Why on the world would we want to make our life even more difficult than it is at the moment? If anything, we want to find ways to make it easier, travel roads that are shorter and safer. Only a fool wants to add pain and suffering when one does not have to. Yet, the truth is that we only learn and we only grow as a person through pain and suffering.

When life is going well, we take life for granted. But when unexpected and perhaps even undeserved pain and suffering enter in, we are forced to face life from a different perspective. If we have never struggled, if we have never forced ourselves to struggle, working our way through that pain will be more difficult than it should be had we learned how to deal with the innate difficulties of life.

Athletes, for instance, put themselves through hours and hours of physical pain in order for their bodies to be prepared for when the game is on the line and something extra will be demanded of them. In the same way, we have to prepare ourselves mentally and physically when life demands more of us that we are used to. We have to be ready for those difficulties Peck reminds us about.

None of this is to say that we always need to take those dirt roads. That would be foolish because we also need to take roads that will allow us to be refreshed and renewed. It is simply a reminder that those dirt roads come into view for a reason. “Of all the paths you take in life, make some dirt,” is good advice and well worth implementing.

HOPE: THE GREATEST OF THESE

Whenever Arlena and I are visiting her Mom, we try to take a walk around the Belpre Park as often as possible. During the Christmas season the city erects a wonder lighting display. On the hill above the walking track they place three signs: faith, love and hope. The last time we walked the track all the decorations were taken down except the “hope” sign. Was it a message? I think so.

Yes, I realize that Paul tells us in his great salute to love that of the three – faith, hope and love – love is the greatest. And he is right, to a degree. If God is Love, and we believe God is, then if we can attain the love that is God, then we have attained perfection. But we have not and never will. All we can do is hope that in this life we can get close to loving as God loves. Yes, at times, we truly love with all our heart and mind and strength, but not always and not usually.

Then there is faith. In Hebrews we read (11:1) that “Faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.” And, of course, it is. And, of course, we don’t have such a faith. We only hope we do. Yes, like love, there are times when we have great faith, faith almost enough to move a mountain, but we almost always fall short, especially when it comes to moving that mountain.

That is why I think hope is the greatest of the three. If we lose hope, we are truly lost. If a baseball team goes into a game feeling they have no hope of winning, they will definitely lose. They have to have enough faith in themselves to believe that if they step out onto the field, they will win no matter what the odds are against them in doing so. Hope gives strength to our faith and without hope, faith is lost.

The same is true for love. Hope allows us to hold on and not give up, having faith that our love will somehow in some way someday be returned. But if we are hopelessly in love with another, we believe we have no chance of that love being reciprocated and it won’t be. Hope begins inside us. Without hope love is lost.

Hope is what keeps us going day to day when our faith is weak, faith in others and faith in ourselves. Hope is what keeps us going each day when we feel unloved and alone, even if or when we somehow feel unloved by God. If hope is lost, all else is lost in the process. That is why we need to remind ourselves that we call hope, along with faith and love, the heavenly virtues, meaning they come from God.

What does that mean? It means that God will never allow us to become completely faithless or loveless or hopeless. Thus, to my point, it is hope that keeps us going when we have doubts about our faith and feel unloved or unlovable. That is why I believe that of the three – faith, hope and love – hope is the greatest. I hope the city never takes down that sign. It is a constant reminder of the importance of hope in our lives.

FIVE THINGS YOU CAN’T RECOVER IN LIFE

Somewhere I came across a wise bit of advice in which I was reminded that there are five things we cannot recover once we’ve said or done any one of them. Once said, once done, there is no going back in time to undo what we would like to undue. It’s too late for that and all we can do is mourn our failing and rue our foolishness.

What are those five things? First, we cannot recover a stone after it is tossed. How often have we thrown stones at others believing, for instance, that they were guilty of something, and then learned to our embarrassment that they were innocent? We should never be the one to throw the first stone and, more often than not, should not throw any stones at all. For, if the truth were known, if stones were tossed only at the guilty, we would be feeling the pain of stones ourselves.

Secondly, we cannot recover a spoken word. Don’t we all know that! Who hasn’t open his or her mouth without first reflecting about what is going to come out of that mouth? We all also know that the old saying about sticks and stones hurting us but not words know that that is a lie. Words hurt and the hurt worse and longer than the pain any stone can inflict.

Thirdly, once we’ve missed the boat, we’ve missed the boat. It’s not going to turn around and come back to pick us up. In other words, we cannot recover an occasion after it has passed. We know that and more often than not we have no one else to blame when we’ve known ahead of time that we were to be somewhere and simply, well, missed the boat.

Fourth, we cannot go back in time, recover time after it is gone. Yesterday is passed and in the past. If we waste the present, it is wasted. That does not mean that we have to be active every waking moment. What it does mean is that when we are given only so much time to do something and waste the time in between, we cannot ask that we be given more time. It is gone.

And finally, and perhaps most importantly, we cannot recover a person after he or she is gone. It’s too late to do what we knew we should have done but did not and now the person has died and we can’t say what we wanted to say. If we’ve thrown a stone we should not have, if we said something that hurt, if we missed an opportunity to be there in support, if we put off doing what we said we would do, if we’ve done any or all of that and the person has died, it’s now too late.

We only go around once. And we know that. So why do we think we will be given another opportunity to take back that stone or that word, to be where we should have been or do what we should have done? Sometimes that opportunity is given to us. But we should not expect it to happen nor should it have to happen.

If we would only be attentive to what we say and do, what things we are called upon to do and places where we should be and people we should see, we would save ourselves much grief. If only!

WHY NOT STARBUCKS

Most Sundays now I am doing supply ministry at St. Stephen’s in East Liverpool, Ohio. It’s a leisurely forty-five minute derive along the Ohio River. Arlena and I leave in time to get to the 10:00 Eucharist. We have to pass through Beaver, PA on the way. As it usually happens, we get stopped by a red light at the intersection of Third Street and College Avenue: right in front of the local Starbucks. 

When the weather is warm, dozens of people are congregating around the outside tables drinking their lattes or espressos or whatever it is they ordered. Invariably I am tempted to stop the car, go over to the assembled congregation and tell them they should be in church and not at Starbucks. I don’t, of course. Even with my collar on they would think I had lost my mind or was some sort of crazy preacher – neither of which is true, if I must say so myself.

Yet I would not be wrong in asserting that they should not be congregating at Starbucks but, rather, at a local congregation of their choice, even one of those mega churches that serve their own Starbucks coffee which you’re allowed to bring with you to the service. What Starbucks lacks and what each and every one of us needs is a community of people who will be there with us when we need them most and they need us most, for being part of a worshipping community is being part of a support group.

That is becoming even more and more important these days when people gather together and yet are not in community or communication, at least not with the people around them. When we are stopped for that light and I look over at those gathered around the tables, half of them are on their phones not even conversing with the people sitting at the same table.

The sad part is that when they truly need a support group, people who will walk with them and hold their hands and get them through the rough times, the Starbucks crowd only have their cups of coffee and cell phones. I say this not from a clerical point of view but from a human point of view. When those rough days came along in Arlena’s and my lives, we knew where to turn. At times others turned to us even before we turned to them because they were part of our lives and still are.

The even sadder part of all this is that all too often people do not know what they are missing until it is too late, when they do not know where to turn for help or to whom. The Starbucks crowd will not be of any assistance because they don’t know them and they don’t know any of them, at least not well enough to ask for help. That is not the case when people are part of a church community.

Maybe I should stop. Start out earlier and let them know what I have found and tell them why not Starbuck but rather why one of the churches right around the corner.

TWELVE REASONS

While going through my “save” files, I found this piece written years ago by James Hewett he titled Twelve Reasons Why a Local Clergyman Stopped Attending Athletic Events. Here they are: 1) Every time I went, they asked for money; 2) The people with whom I had to sit didn’t seem very friendly; 3) The seats were too hard and not comfortable; 4) The coach never came to call on me; 5) The referee made a decision with which I could not agree; 6) I was sitting with some hypocrites – they came only to see what others were wearing; 7) Some games went into overtime, and I was late getting home; 8) The band played some numbers that I had never heard before; 9) The games are scheduled when I want to do others things; 10) My parents took me to too many games when I was growing up; 11) Since I read a book on sports, I feel that I know more than the coaches anyhow; 12) I don’t want to take my children because I want them to choose for themselves what sport they like best.

It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to get Hewett’s point. There are a dozen reasons why people stop going to “athletic” events, whatever those events are. But they really are not reasons so much as they are excuses. And there are more. Any time we do not want to do something we probably should do, we find a reason why we cannot do it. We find an excuse that we hope reasonably excuses us.

That takes the heat off us for the moment. But sooner or later our excuses catch up to us and we have to face the issue head on: why do we not want to do what we know we really should do? Granted, both dealing with the issue at hand and resolving it will not be comfortable or even pleasing.

It’s like going on a diet we know we really need to go on. Once we stop making excuses why we can’t do so at this time and actually deal with it, going on a diet is never easy or pleasant no matter what all those ads tells us about how wonderful their menu is and how easy it is to follow. A diet is a diet and it takes work and it means we cannot eat anything and everything we want. That is not pleasant and it is not easy and is why we continue to make excuses.

The same is true for any part of our lives that needs reform. We all have a need. No exceptions because no one of us is perfect. We all have parts of our lives that need tending to and know that in tending to them it will take work, hard work, and maybe even a little sacrifice. We also know that we can come up with at least a twelve reasons why we cannot do so at this time. Reasons are a dime a dozen as they say.

The question remains, and we need to be honest, perhaps brutally honest: what part of our life is holding us back from being a better person, a healthier person, a more spiritual person and for which we are and have been making excuses for not attending to? The next question: are we going to continue to make excuses or will we finally do something?

THE ROOT OF ALL EVIL

Many years ago I heard a television preacher defending his lavish lifestyle – expensive cars, mansion home, extravagant vacations, expensive suits and haircuts – denying scripture’s claim that money is the root of all evil, by asserting that the lack of money is. He was right back then and he would be right today, perhaps even more so today. Money is not the root of all evil. Poverty is.

Poverty is the reason why people resort to crime, to revolt, to all sorts of evil. When you have nothing else left to lose, you strike out to get something that those in power have, that those who have have and you do not have. And you do not have even the basics of life because those in power either do not care that you do not or have obtained what they have at your expense.

Why is there so much poverty all around the world and even in this country? It’s not because those in poverty do not want to work. It is because there are no jobs for them to have and because those in power do not care to provide those jobs. Even worse, they do not seem to care that they do not care. They allow themselves to be oblivious to the needs of others so that they can accumulate more of their wants.

What is even worse is that those who make the laws exempt themselves from the burdens they pass on to their constituents. A double standard here? Of course. Ask them to defend their position and they blame those who had been in power for what has taken place. Ask them to right those wrongs and they say that they are working on it. But we all know they will do nothing. And the haves will continue to have and the have nots will continue to struggle and struggle and struggle. Until.

Until, as that famous line in the movie Network has it, they shout “I’m mad as hell and I won’t take it anymore!” That is when marches and revolutions and uprising start to take place. Marches and protests are only the tip of the iceberg. People in poverty, people who feel left out, stay calm only for a while until they finally “won’t take it anymore.” Then look out! It won’t be a pretty sight.

But why do we as a society allow poverty to even exist when we have all the resources to eliminate it? Why do people and leaders all around the world who have more than enough not do all we and they can do to help those who do not even have enough to meet their daily needs? Why do we have to wait until uprisings take place before we start to do something to right the wrongs, the injustices being done?

To say that there are no easy answers is simply to make excuses for not doing anything. Those in power are the reason why those who are in need are in need. But unless those in power hear the voices of those of us who care about taking care of the needs of the needy, they will continue to make excuses for doing little or nothing, and ignore the problem.

The question is: what can I do? What will I do? Or will I continue to sit on my hands, bemoan the issue and wait until the uprising because it will come?