ORGANIZATIONS ARE CONVERSATIONS

Somewhere along the line I read the statement that “organizations are conversations”. I wish I can remember who wrote those words or in what context they were written, but I cannot. What struck me at that moment was not only the truth of that statement but that it can be applied to any organization including, perhaps especially, to the church, both the larger church as well as the local congregation.

One of the main reasons why conflict arises in any organization, including the church – yes, even the church is not exempt from conflict, he says with tongue firmly planted in cheek – is that conversations do not take place or they take place where they should not: parking lots, in the corner at coffee time, anywhere but where they should. Open conversation is the lifeblood of any organization, including the church.

When organizations fail to communicate, problems arise. When the communication is one-sided or is not open to all, problems eventually arise. Even when everything is going smoothly, when no problems have surfaced, conversations still must take place: real conversations, in-depth conversations and not just those around the coffee machine or water cooler or even coffee hour.

Successful organizations are those where conversations are going on and ongoing all over the place and not just in the board room or the vestry conference room. Furthermore, good conversations, conversations that produce growth, are, again, vital not just for the wellbeing of the organization but for the wellbeing of everyone who is part of it. If there are those who feel left out, who believe their thoughts and ideas and even they themselves are not important, then the organization is less for it.

There is an art to conversation, good, meaningful conversation. And that art has to be learned, even taught. Some of us are good listeners and some of us have a hard time listening to anyone but ourselves. Some of us are good talkers; but if the only ones we talk to are the proverbial “choir”, then we are wasting our breathe and their time. That, of course, is not good.

Good conversation can only take place, however, when everyone from top down to bottom up is both willing to speak and willing to listen and, even more importantly, change when that is the outcome of the conversation. Change: change one’s mind, change one’s way of doing things, and even change one’s heart because what needs to be changed is for the betterment of the organization.

There are times when we do not want to enter into conversations because we see no need because we like it the way it is. But honest conversations may reveal that the way it is the way it should be, at least for now.

For us in the church, we must never be afraid to enter into conversation, to always be in conversation. It is the only way to be church. It is the only way for us to be about who we are and who we are called to be. It is the only way to be.

WE'VE ALL BEEN THERE

A while back before I retired a couple without their three children came by to drop off food for the food basket, and headed out the door. I asked them where they were going. The wife replied: “We're running away from home.” I laughed, and added, “And leaving no forwarding address either.”  They laughed. I've been there. Every parent has been. It isn’t easy being a parent. Parenting gives us sometimes the greatest of pleasures and sometimes the greatest of pains. Sometimes we would do it all over again and sometimes we would run like the wind. It depends on the day – and sometimes on the hour.

It almost always depends on the answer we give to our children when they ask for something: to go out tomorrow night even though we told them yesterday that they were grounded for a week; to stay out late even though it is a school night [“I’ll get up in the morning, I promise.”]; for a new outfit because they have nothing to wear [look in their closets]; or a new pair of shoes [to add to the ten pairs they already have].

     
When the answer is a calm and simple “No,” their typical response is: 1) “You don’t have to be so rude.” 2) “You don’t have to yell at me.”  3) “What’s the matter? Do you have an attitude problem?” 4) All of the above. It is no good to try to respond. It only makes the matter worse. The only thought that went through my mind back then was: I can’t wait until you get married and have children of your own. They now are! Revenge is sweet. 

Raising children is only one of the many challenges of life. For life itself is a challenge, a challenge to make it from day to day, one day at a time, a challenge to see if we can get through this day without some sort of pain, or at least with more pleasure than pain. We don’t always succeed. And when we don’t, I suspect the temptation is to try to escape by simply running away from it all.

           
The temptation doesn’t last very long, thankfully. But in those quiet moments when we have the opportunity to reflect on life and the pains and problems of life, we sometimes have to wonder why it has to be so painful at times. And the fact that no one escapes the pain is really no comfort when we are in the midst of our own. Knowing that another is in the same boat as we may be a consolation but it in no way takes away the present pain.

 

It does mean that I am never alone and that I never have to go it alone. I need others to help me through my moments of pain and others need me to help them through theirs – whatever the pain, however great or small or even trivial. Pain is always intensely personal. We can walk alongside someone in pain, along the same road, as we all do as parents, but we can never walk in their shoes. We can only be there for support.
          
When we gather as a worshiping community, we gather as a people in pain, people who suffer from the effects of our own sins, the sins of others, and from events and happenings that are entirely out of our control. We gather to receive the strength of the Eucharist to help us through our pain, and the strength that comes from the loving support of one another to walk that road where we’ve all been before and where we will be again. But we must walk the road together. It’s the only way.

AN INDELIBLE BUMPER STICKER

There's a story about a man who stopped at a traffic light and saw that the car in front of him had a "Honk if you love Jesus" bumper sticker. Playing along, he gently beeped his horn. The elderly woman driving the car in front stuck her head out the window and yelled back at him, "Open your eyes, you jerk! Can't you see the light's still red?"
    
The moral of the story is not that we better not put a bumper sticker on our car that asks others to respond if we don't want the response. Rather the point is that we all wear a bumper sticker on our forehead that says "Baptized Christian." No one can see the sticker, of course. But it is there. My old theology books talk about an "indelible mark" that comes with baptism, a mark that cannot be removed. It can be ignored. But it cannot be removed. We are who we are.
        
And because we are who we are, we invite anyone to call us on it at any time, call on us to live out what we professed through our baptism we would do and what we believe. In essence, what we say to others, because we have been baptized, is: "Honk if you need me. I'll be there." And when they honk, we respond in love and not like the lady in the story.

Yet it is more than that. Baptism not only says that we will be there to respond, and will respond, when someone honks asking for help. Baptism also says that we will go out looking for opportunities to help even when we don't hear anyone honking. Baptism is our ordination into a life of service. In fact, our bumper sticker is very simple: "I am among you as one who serves." That's who Jesus was. That's who we are. No honking necessary.

           
It's easy to forget, sometimes. It's easy to think not kindly about others when they call upon us, upon our time or our talent or our financial resources. I get that way at times when I receive those phone calls from people in need who have no church, who have no use for the church, but who expect that the church, demand that the church, respond to their needs simply because we say that we are a people who serve others in need and they are in need.
           
It is at those times that I forget that I am called to serve first, last and always, even if, especially if that service is not easy, especially when I have judged that the person who wants my service doesn't "deserve" it. There are times people have said to me, "You say you're a what? A Christian? Aren't Christians supposed to help?" I have no comeback, nor will they come back.
 
I know: it's not that simple. Professing our faith, living out our faith is never as simple as honking a horn. It sometimes demands biting our tongue. It often demands giving when we would rather not. It means that demands will be made upon us when we are least prepared to respond, when we would rather do anything else, when what we really want to do is call the person who wants us a "jerk" rather than seeing Jesus in that person. But we are called to be who we say we are.  

ALL IN THE EYES OF THE BEHOLDER

The other day Arlena and I were on our way to the grocery store. We were in the left-hand lane on Route 19. A car just ahead of us on the right was trying to get into our lane, but the car to his left would not slow down enough to allow him to do so. My wife said out loud to the driver in front of us (who obviously could not hear her, but she said in anyway) “Let that old man and his wife in.” He didn’t but I did.

When the car to our right moved in front of us, I glanced at the white hair on the head of that “old man” who was driving the car. I said, “I wonder what the people think about the old man driving this car with all that white hair on his head?” It’s all in the eye of the beholder. The people in front of us were old because the driver had white hair. The truth is, we may be older than they are, white hair not always signifying advanced age.

Besides, how old is “old”? In the past I used to do a Communion Service for the people who live in the retirement community in our area. My wife and I are planning on joining one of these communities when the time comes, meaning when we are too old and no longer have the desire to take care of our home and property. That time has not come. However, one of the members of that community reminds me when I see her that we are old enough to move it. We may be that old, but we are not that old.

There are, in other words, members of that community who are indeed younger than we are who are that old. In their eyes and minds they no longer want or are able to take care of a home and all that goes with it. They are happy with their decisions. We will make ours when that time comes, which I hope will be many years down the line. But, of course, only time will tell.

We are thankful, very thankful, for our health, that we can live where we so desire and are not forced because of circumstances beyond our control to do that which we would rather not. There are those younger than we are we still can and do what we can and do but would rather not. In their eyes and minds it’s time to move on. They see life differently than we do.

It is always easy to make decisions for others. It is also often very difficult to make those same decisions for ourselves. We think we can see clearly what another should or should not do but are often blinded to what we should or should not do. It may be human nature but it is also a fact of life. And age makes no difference here either. Young and old alike are blinded to the truth because the truth is often very difficult to accept. So we fool ourselves and often make fools of ourselves in the process.

Seeing clearly, being honest with ourselves, making wise decisions is something each and every one of us must strive for in our daily lives, again, young and old alike. One of the saving graces in growing older is that we do become older and wiser and make better decisions. But not always. For whatever reason, there are times in the lives of each one of us, no matter our age, when we blind ourselves to reality and fail to see what everyone else can see. The eyes of the beholder can be deceived. We should never forget that.

THE PAST IS PASSED

The wise among us seem to constantly remind us that those who refuse to learn from history are doomed to repeat it. I suspect that even the foolish among us would have to nod heads in agreement. However, even a cursory review of history seems to indicate that there are more fools in this world than there are the wise. In fact, each and every one of us is a fool at times because at times we all ignore history and make fools of ourselves.

Given that truth, one that certainly cannot be denied if we are each and all are honest with ourselves, the cynic in me wonders why we even study history in the first place. We either believe that history is wrong or that we are going to be the exceptions to the rule, neither of which is correct we sadly and often painfully discover after we have gone against the truth that was out there waiting for us to accept it on face value.

None of this is to say that history does not have so very much to teach us or that we always and everywhere ignore those historical lessons. The blessing in all of this is that we really do learn from history, from our past mistakes, and become less prone to being foolish the next time around. The bane is that there seems to be something in us that wants to see for ourselves if history is truly right. So we touch the hot pan that we were told not to touch because we would get burned, got burned, and wondered why we were so foolish to not listen to the wise voice that told us what would happen.

The corollary in our failure to learn from the past is that we so often want to live in the past. The past is passed and it will never come back. The good old days were never as good as we remember. But even if they were the best of times, those times have passed. We cannot resurrect them no matter how much we desire or how hard we try. They are passed and all we can do is keep them in fond memory.

On the other hand, if the past has little or no fond memories to hold on to but only misery and pain, we should not allow ourselves to believe that the present and the future will simply be more of the same. It will be if we do not let go of the past and grab on to the present, knowing and believing that the past does not have to be repeated and that the future can be bright and good and wonderful. But first we have to let the past pass.

That can be easier said than done, of course, especially if the past has so many bad memories, was filled with far too much pain and suffering of whatever kind that took: physical, mental, spiritual, whatever. If that was the case, it becomes difficult to move on because one tends to blame the self for the past’s bad times. We begin to believe that we must have done something to deserve all that pain and suffering. But even if we did, that is no reason to believe the present will be more of the same.

History has proven that no matter how bad the past was, resurrection and new life is always possible. It may take time and it will be not without some difficult times and trying days. But unless we allow the past to be passed, unless we leave it behind and move on with our lives, we will never be able to find resurrection and new life. But if we do, the future will be better than anything we experienced in the past.

THE SHADOW KNOWS

Would that we were able to see clearly every time all the time. Would that when we make a decision, we can clearly see all the obstacles in our way and even see the outcome of that decision. Would that we never have blinders on because we would never need them because we could see clearly all that we would need to see. Would, would, would: it is only a dream, is it not?

The late Martin Luther King, Jr., in a sermon he once delivered at his home church, made this observation about what we see and, truly, the decisions we make by what we see and what we do not see. He said, “Everything we see is a shadow cast by that which we do not see.” Even when we think we are seeing clearly, we truly are not. There are things which we cannot see, for whatever reason we cannot see them, that color what we are seeing, that cast a shadow upon it.

We know that truth from experience. We have often said, after being surprised by something that we did not expect to happen because we thought we had all our bases covered, “I just didn’t see that coming.” And we did not because what we thought we saw was cast by a shadow we did not see. Some of the truth was hidden from us because we had no control over that which was hidden.

The further truth is that that fact at least allows us to forgive ourselves for being the victim of something that was out of our control when we first thought we had everything under control. We never have everything totally under control. There are just too many unseen and unforeseen shadows that come into play. And these are not random happenings, random shadows, either. It happens all the time, every day.

And sometimes, certainly more often than we are aware, we are the ones who cast those shadows upon the lives of those around us. Our shadowy presence, if you will, influences the decisions and actions of others even though they may be totally unaware of that fact. They may not see us, but we are there, somehow in some way. In the same way, others are present in our lives even though we are not aware of that presence.

The same is true on an even more personal level. Our past casts a shadow on our present. It is a part of our present because our past is a part of us. We make conscious decisions that are affected by that unconscious past and are not aware of what is happening. Would, again, that we were so aware of all this, but we are not, nor are we expected to be so aware. We are not God.

Even though these unconscious, unseen, unaware shadows do get us off the hook at times, we still need to do our very best to make sure the decisions we make and the actions we take are done with the best foresight we can give knowing all the while that there is information that is covered by a shadow. The shadow knows more than we know. Our goal is to try to know as much as the shadow knows. That will never happen being the limitations we have as human beings. But it does not mean that we do not give it our very best effort.

THE JESUS MYTH

One of my favorite authors over the years was the late Andrew Greeley. I first started reading him while in seminary over fifty years ago. He was a young priest who wrote theological books that I could understand in contrast to some of the tomes I had to read written by German (read: dense) theologians. Greeley made theology interesting and fun even as he was excoriated by his peers because he was not a theologian but a sociologist, which he was indeed. Yet sociology is about the study of people and Greeley took dense tomes and dense theological concepts and made it understandable to ordinary people and ordinary seminarians.

One of his classics, to me at least, written over forty years ago, is The Jesus Myth. That title alone, for a young priest as I was back then, was startling. Jesus was no myth! Jesus was real. How could Greeley ever defend such a proposition that Jesus was a myth? Of course I had it all wrong. When I first saw an advertisement for the book, I misunderstood Greely’s understanding of “myth”, as most people would do in his context.

Most of us, if I may be so bold to do such categorizing, when we hear or see the word “myth”, we think about the second definition of that word: “ a widely held but false notion” or the third definition: “fictitious person, thing, or idea”. The first definition is this: “a traditional story embodying popular ideas on natural or supernatural and social phenomena, etc.” As such, the story of Jesus is a myth. But it is more and Greeley intended it to be more when he used the word in writing about Jesus.

If I am correct, the notion Greeley had in mind is what theologian Karen Armstrong, writing years later says about myth: “A myth was never intended as an accurate account of a historical event; it was something that in some sense happened once but that also happens all the time.” The story of Jesus, even as we have it in the Gospels, was never intended to be an accurate account of his life and words. But Jesus did live and what he said and did as recounted in scripture, even though not historically accurate, is still historically true.

But there is more and is the essence of myth. It lives on and even happens, as Armstrong asserts, all the time. That was Greeley’s point about Jesus. Jesus lived once. He said and did much, some of which is recounted in scripture, much of which is not. But what he said and what he did still lives on today. Jesus lives on in the lives of those who believe in Jesus and who try to live the life he would have us live, say the words that he would say, do what he would do given who we are with all our failing and shortcomings but also with the gifts we do possess.

Jesus is alive as much today as he was when he lived. The Jesus Event, in Armstrong’s words, the Jesus Myth, in Greeley’s, happens all the time. Jesus died but he still lives. He lives in us, you and me. He spoke his words once but he still speaks them today, in and through us and in and through all those who believe in him. Sometimes, thankfully, our words and actions are adequate; and sometimes, sadly, they are inadequate and even contrary to what Jesus would say and do. That happens when it is sinners who are to make Jesus alive in their own lives.

The Jesus Myth: to those who believe, it all makes sense. To those who do not believe it makes no sense at all.